Problem/Goal: Gusto kong malaman kung tama lang bang nakipag-break ako sa bf ko dahil sa pagsisinungaling niya, kahit wala naman akong proof na nag-cheat siya.

Context: I (F22) had a bf (M22) for 4 years. Firsts namin ang isa’t isa. Throughout those years, naging on and off kami dahil siguro "first jowa" and immature pa pareho. Also, honestly naging toxic din minsan. Pero nung huli kaming nagkabalikan around June 2025 last year, sobrang naging maayos na 'yung relationship namin for almost a year. As in peaceful, healthy, and parang “finally, ito na yung tamang version namin.”

Nag-set kami ng clear boundaries nung nagkabalikan kami. Pareho kaming nagtanggal ng toxic habits, nag-cut off ng people na di comfy ang isa’t isa, pati bisyo. Sinunod naman namin lahat and super okay na okay talaga kami.

Then dumating itong March 2026.

May napansin akong bago niyang female friend na lagi niyang kasama dahil pareho silang athlete. Mixed genders yung sport nila so normal lang naman technically. I asked him about that girl before and sinabi niya co-athlete lang daw. Wala naman akong proof of cheating pero ewan ko ba, may gut feeling talaga ako. So pina-unfollow ko siya sa IG, and ginawa naman niya.

Weeks passed, nakita ko yung same girl nag-heart react sa post niya sa Facebook. Inask ko bakit friends pa rin sila sa FB kahit inunfollow na sa IG, sabi niya nakalimutan lang daw and inunfriend niya rin after. Ngl, nag-crashout ako dito.

Fast forward nitong May 2026, sobrang dalas ng practice/tryouts niya kasi may upcoming tournament sila sa June. Supportive naman ako and di ko siya pinagbabawalan. Pero ang weird lang kasi lagi niyang sinasabi sakin na “all guys” daw yung kasama niya. Hindi ko naman tinatanong minsan, siya mismo nagbibigay ng assurance.

Then recently, sobrang lakas ng kutob ko. As in nagkakasakit ako randomly and pabalik-balik sa hospital, lagnat and stomach ache. Alam kong OA pakinggan pero usually pag may ganitong feeling ako, may mali talaga.

So nag-stalk ako. Dun ko nalaman na kasama nila PALAGI yung girl sa practices and team activities. Nakita ko sa feed ni girl and ng ibang teammates nila.

Kinonfront ko bf ko calmly at first. Sabi ko sabihin niya na lahat ng kasama niya these past few months sa sports. I said hindi ako magagalit at gusto ko lang umamin siya mismo sa mukha ko. Pero for almost 2 hours, puro names ng lalaki lang binibigay niya kahit alam kong may tinatago siya.

Hanggang sa napuno ako and nasabi ko na “sige ka ipagkakalat ko 'to sa buong university, even sa socmed. madadamay din name ng girl." (I didn't mean this, gusto ko lang siyang mapaamin kasi same school kami nung babae).

Doon lang siya umamin.

Sabi niya wag ko raw idamay yung girl kasi wala naman daw kasalanan. Inamin niya na kasama talaga nila lagi yung girl and sila pala yung magka-duo partner sa upcoming tournament. Need daw talaga mixed gender sa competition and di na siya makaka-back out kasi may malaking penalty (hindi po 'to e-sports btw).

I asked him: “If walang malisya, bakit kailangan magsinungaling?”

Ang sagot niya: natakot daw siya kasi alam niyang ayaw ko na agad dun sa girl simula pa lang and tuwing napag-uusapan yun (dalawang beses palang) ang lala raw ng crash-out and galit ko kahit wala naman daw siyang ginagawa.

Now he’s begging for another chance. Pinakita niya convo nila sa'kin and puro sports lang naman talaga ang usapan. Hindi rin daw sila naglalandian. Ready rin daw niya akong ipakilala personally sa girl para ma-regain trust ko. Also, matagal niya na raw akong kinekwento sa babaeng 'yun and he even said na ako ang profile picture niya, nasa bio niya, lahat na. Sabi niya liligawan niya raw ako ulit kasi never naman daw siyang nag-cheat kasi malinis daw ang konsensya niya.

Part of me thinks maybe kasalanan ko rin kasi aminado akong pag nagagalit/nagseselos ako, sobra talaga ako mag-react. Baka kaya siya natakot magsabi ng totoo. Pero at the same time, di ko matanggap yung pagsisinungaling niya.

Tama lang ba na nakipag-break ako? Or masyado lang akong naging controlling at paranoid kahit NEVER ko naman sila nahuli na nag-checheat or may ginagawang masama?

My girlfriend and I (both 22 y.o) normally update each other from time to time whenever we’re out, so I do understand why she got bothered. For us, 5 hours without hearing from each other is already considered kinda long.

That night, I told her beforehand that I was going to play basketball with friends. After the game, everything just happened back to back — my friends and I looked for somewhere to eat, ate together, and then I drove some of my friends home since they live pretty far.

By the time I checked my phone again, around 5 hours had already passed. I explained everything immediately and apologized because, honestly, I probably could’ve sent at least one quick update somewhere in between.

She replied nicely at first but became cold after and said we should just talk the next day. After that, she stopped replying completely.

What made me feel worse is that this all happened close to midnight, and my birthday was less than an hour away. Instead of feeling excited for it, I just ended up feeling guilty and anxious the whole time.

I completely understand why she was upset since updating each other has always been normal for us. But at the same time, I genuinely wasn’t ignoring her or doing anything shady. I was just occupied with driving, friends, and everything happening one after another.

At this point, I honestly don’t even plan on texting again after our last conversation because it feels like she already made up her mind about being upset, even after I explained and apologized.

IATA here, or was her reaction a bit too much?

Does anyone here play 8 Ball Pool mobile game? I just wanted to ask something l've been curious about. When you open the Friends tab in 8ball app, for example the first 5 people who appear right away, are they there mainly because they're active/recently online even if you haven't played with them?

Or are those usually the people you recently played with?

If anyone knows the real main reason, l'd appreciate a clear answer. If possible, I need one accurate answer only. Thank you!