u/Independent_Nose_385

Our daughter is a 99th percentile baby. She's already 35 inches which is the height limit for the crib. I had kind of let it slide because she wears sleep sacks, but she has now mastered climbing the couch. She now tries (but can't) climb everything; coffee tables, tv stand, shelves. She really just lifts her leg 😂 but she's still trying. I watched her do it on her crib rail when I was in the room with her the other day so that's my limit. It's time for a new bed.

I am looking for any advice on what to expect. She's a great sleeper at night and for her naps, she loves them. When she goes to bed we set her down awake and she flops and plays around for a few minutes then falls asleep on her own. She still wears sleep sacks with feet, quite long ones, because no way will she keep socks on to sleep. She would end up cold all night. I also don't see her putting a blanket back on herself if it comes off at night.

Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated! Shared experiences too.

Okay so going to try to condense my situation.

Feb 2024 I get kidney stones. It was stuck, it passes, it sucked, the whole deal. April 2024 I get pregnant. I still see the Urologist for a follow up and 24 hour urine samples, etc. All kidney stats perfect.

During pregnancy I get pre-eclampsia. I had terrible midwives. It went untreated. I'm eventually induced at 39 weeks when the hospital found it. I'm off BP meds by 6 weeks post partum.

9 months PP my BP goes up to 205/115. Who knows how long for? I felt fine. I'm on 2 meds controlling it now.

3 months later I apply for life insurance. Denied due to my kidney bloodwork/urine. I go to the dr. Referred to a Nephrologist.

Finally 15 months post partum I see the Nephrologist. I had multiple ACR tests done. They started at 22.4 mg/mm The last one a few months ago went down to 9 mg/mm. Albumin was 278 and down to 63.

My nephrologist tells me he's happy with seeing everything go down. He feels I have some mild kidney damage from chronic hypertension from pregnancy. He doesn't want to do a biopsy because my EGFR is 120. I'm going back in a few months for a follow up to make sure everything goes down.

One of the first things he asks if I'm going to get pregnant again. It was our plan... He says right to me "I can't tell you to not get pregnant because I'm not an OB, but here are all the risks and I really want you to think about this". He outlined what my care would look like. That I have a 50% chance of pre-eclampsia again, which for those of you that don't know, causes pre-term birth, stillbirth, chronic high BP(that I already have from it) stroke, just so many dangerous things for pregnant women. And not just the pregnancy, he says he's worried about further damage to my kidneys when everything is done. He kept circling back that me getting pregnant worries him, and that next appointment he wants me to bring in my husband so we can all discuss it.

My husband and I have talked about the risks. And although it makes us sad, we do not want to take the risk of getting pregnant again. For my sake, and the potential baby.

So many people in my life immediately say "I think you need a 2nd opinion". Like...why??? He has laid it all out clear for me. You will need to see and OB and probably Maternal Fetal Medicine early. This and that can happen. You need to come off your BP meds. All of this could cause further damage to your kidneys which then we could actually have real kidney problems.

Have any of you had to question your Nephrologist on things like this? He's one of the best Specialists I've ever met. Super informative, kind, reassuring. He told me my kidney issues stem from blood pressure so our main goal is keeping it down, continue to lose weight, cut salt, etc. My situation is pretty specific but curious if anyone has had any similar situations? Maybe not with pregnancy but with kidney issues from blood pressure?

My husband is awesome, and I'm super appreciative to have a motivated one. He is non-stop to the point I sometimes feel guilty. He is always working out, doing chores, etc after work and I'm so tired by the end of the day that I feel guilty not helping.

My day goes like this:

He leaves by 615am. He's a site supervisor so his job can vary from desk work to walking the site. Our 15 month old girl wakes up between 630-730am.

She naps for 2 hours in the day. I use 1 hour to relax and eat lunch, and the other hour is always house cleaning and chores.

Her and I are always on the go. Parks with my friend, playgroups, library, errands, visiting my parents every Wednesday. We aren't the type to stay home.

My husband is home by 5pm. Dinner is ready for him. We hang out from 5-7 as a family. He always does her night routine, she's down by 730pm. While he does night routine I do my nightly chores. Tidy up, vacuum, finish dishes, meds to the dog, fold any laundry. At 730pm he goes outside to work out and do yard work or anything we need done.

At 730pm I shower and get myself into bed watching tv. I hear him outside (even right now) laying mulch, weed whacking, raking etc. These aren't tasks I ask him to do, he wants to do them.

I feel so guilty not being out there... But damn .. I'm so tired! Keeping up with a 15 month old toddler is so draining. I literally chase her around all day or take her out for activities. She starts daycare in a few weeks and I go back to work a few weeks after that. I know things will be different for him. I work 8 and 12 hour shift work so often he will be alone with her to do all the dinner and night routine. Maybe he won't have as much energy?

Does anyone else have this and feel bad? I know I'm lucky because he always gets tasks done and enjoys it but I hate the guilt 😂