u/Individual-Bug-3967

We finally live in a neighborhood with a substantial number of trick or treating age kids and our kid isn’t quite old enough to hit the streets yet, so we’d like to have fun with it this year.

Some things I’ve seen online
- Ramen (strange, but lots of comments of support 😆)

- Full size drinks like Bubbly, Poppi, etc

- Full size chocolate

- Homemade caramel corn packaged

- Big bags of chips

- Healthier options like veggie chips, goldfish, granola bars

Open to unique ideas!

ETA: Also looking to do something for the parents. I saw someone say they do scratch tickets which I thought was cute!

I’m really struggling right now. My (9 month old) baby is so much calmer and more affectionate with my husband than with me. He naps on him, cuddles into him, seems totally content. With me he thrashes, pulls my hair, and I can’t seem to soothe him the way my husband can. I go in for a kiss or to give him attention when my husband is holding him and he turns away or pushes me away. It’s making me feel like I’m not his ‘real’ emotional attachment, like I’m just the person who gets him through the day while my husband gets to be the one he actually wants.

I’ve lost my patience a couple times when he’s really hurt me by pulling out chunks of my hair, and I grabbed his arm to get him to stop in a way that probably hurt. I feel horrible about it, and now I’m terrified he’s scared of me and that’s why he doesn’t seem to want me the way he wants his dad. I can’t stop spiraling on it.

I feel so much jealousy when my mom friends talk about the bonds with their children, and I’m just watching my husband get that experience. I’ve never felt so tested before, so short on patience. I absolutely hate that I might’ve hurt or scared him, and I’m worried an accumulation of instances where I’ve lost my cool has led to all this.

I don’t know what’s going on… maybe postpartum anxiety or depression. Maybe my kid really doesn’t care for me much. Maybe I’m just a piece of shit.

I just don’t know what to do to improve this.

My husband and I are no-contact with the large majority of his side of the family. It’s for good reason. He knows that, we know that, and collectively we’re a happier and healthier family unit for making the decision.

On my side, everyone is spread out. We’re talking different sides of the world. So while those relationships are good, it makes gatherings few and far between. Even our friends are spread out because we don’t live where we grew up.

We have a child now and his first birthday is approaching. We didn’t have a baby shower or anything to celebrate the existence of him. Given the circumstances, it seems his birthdays (at least this one) will be the same - just the three of us.

It makes me sad sometimes when I see these beautiful birthday party set ups and I want to be able to give him that childhood so badly, but the situation is what it is. I guess I feel guilt that we didn’t get things sorted with my husbands family, which shouldn’t be the case given how miserable they are. I never want our son to feel like he’s not celebrated, or that his extended family doesn’t love him enough to be present for these events. There’s also a part of me that feels disappointed, like we aren’t going to have the typical parent experience.

And yes, I know he won’t remember the birthday and any celebrations are really just for us. But it’s the reflecting of the whole situation that has led me down this thought train, haha.

Anyway, for those who don’t have the usual family dynamic I’d love to hear how you’ve turned these events into special moments for your kids.

Those who had an infant/toddler who would eat anything and everything, did that continue into their older years? Or did the pickiness set in once they became more aware of what you were giving them?