u/IndoorCat13

Let me preface by saying I have a very sweet and thoughtful 4.5yo girl, but there’s something that’s been happening lately that is really bothering me and I think I need some perspective from other parents as to whether this is super normal age behavior or something I need to address so it doesn’t become an issue. Being an only child I recognize she probably gets a bit more on average but has always been a pretty grateful kid!

Basically, she’s very indecisive and often has regret over something she’s chosen to buy or asked for as a present. A specific example is that about a week ago we offered to get her one of those tie-in colourful braids as a treat for after some tough dental work happening next week. I know she’s particular so I’m usually happy to let her have input on gifts and things so she gets what she actually wants. Anyway, she was excited about it and chose the colour she wanted.

Now she’s worried because she says she no longer wants the colour she picked and would rather have a different one (but in true kid fashion, the colour she told me she liked last night has changed to a different one this morning!). I explained I’d already spent the money on it and couldn’t replace it now and if she wanted something else we’d have to wait and save up for it. I also explained that this behaviour seems like she is ungrateful for being able to get the thing she wanted.

Obviously in the grand scheme of things this braid is small fish to fry but it’s the overall behaviour and lesson that I’m wanting to address. I want her to be able to express her opinions and not be afraid to tell me she doesn’t like something however grumbling and complaining is against our family values and gratitude is something we practice and try to instil.

I’m also cognizant she’s literally 4 years old and maybe I’m expecting too much from her. Thoughts? Experiences?

Let me preface by saying I have a very sweet and thoughtful 4.5yo girl, but there’s something that’s been happening lately that is really bothering me and I think I need some perspective from other parents as to whether this is super normal age behavior or something I need to address so it doesn’t become an issue.

Basically, she’s very indecisive and often has regret over something she’s chosen to buy or asked for as a present. A specific example is that about a week ago we offered to get her one of those tie-in colourful braids as a treat for after some tough dental work happening next week. I know she’s particular so I’m usually happy to let her have input on gifts and things so she gets what she actually wants. Anyway, she was excited about it and chose the colour she wanted.

Now she’s worried because she says she no longer wants the colour she picked and would rather have a different one (but in true kid fashion, the colour she told me she liked last night has changed to a different one this morning!). I explained I’d already spent the money on it and couldn’t replace it now and if she wanted something else we’d have to wait and save up for it. I also explained that this behaviour seems like she is ungrateful for being able to get the thing she wanted.

Obviously in the grand scheme of things this braid is small fish to fry but it’s the overall behaviour and lesson that I’m wanting to address. I want her to be able to express her opinions and not be afraid to tell me she doesn’t like something however grumbling and complaining is against our family values and gratitude is something we practice and try to instil.

I’m also cognizant she’s literally 4 years old and maybe I’m expecting too much from her. Thoughts? Experiences?