Troubled teen refusing to go to school(16 )
Hey everyone. It's taken me a lot of courage to post on here but I'm feeling desperate now for any help. I I have a 16 year old son who is entering 12th grade and is currently enrolled in continuation school. He has never been one to take academics seriously and fell behind his freshman/sophomore year refusing to do any work hence leading to where he is at now.
He has developed a personality thinking he is too good for school and will not need it, wants to create music and start a clothing line in the future. I did my darndest to try to encourage him that school is important too and it's a pathway to working on his career goals. Well my son is way behind in credits and is at risk for not graduating on time.
He also takes long showers and cares a lot about his appearance so he rarely makes an effort to be in time to school or anywhere really. His sense of urgency isn't there. His school isn't very close either , it's about 6 miles away and he refuses to get up super early for public transportation. Hence, I feel like if I don't wake him up for school he just simply won't go. It's getting extremely exhausting.
But that's just half the battle, because he has this idea that he can just refuse to go because he simply doesn't feel like going..
He has these fits every morning and becomes this awful person throwing angry tantrums like a 5 year old. My husband and I try to encourage him in the mornings but it always ends up in a shouting match. Speaking to him calmly doesn't seem to help either..
I also want to mention my son is 6'3 and gone are the days of using force on him, dragging him out of bed, that sort of thing. I'm not one for anything physical as I used to be a victim of domestic violence.
I've tried getting him interested in therapy for about a few years now. He has this misconception that therapists are a waste of time and won't work for him. I'm not sure who communicated that to him. He clearly needs it and has anger problems.
He's also smoking weed with his friends when he is out with them. I barely give him cash for food because I know he is going to try to use it on that. He thinks I don't know.
In the past, I've had to call sheriffs to help support because he gets aggressively loud and he has spat and got in my face. He has punched holes in our wall during arguments. It hurts so much to see him like this and I feel like the more I try to be there for him the more he disrespects me/belittles me/pushes me away. I'm losing hope and feel defeated as a parent.
I've contacted the school for support and they seem to be understanding. We tried independent studies ( online classes) for him to see if that takes pressure off, but it seemed to make things worse. My son would do the minimum work ( for like an hour) and then occupy himself with something else.. The school offers 3rd party therapists and counseling services. We discussed iEP services. When the VP mentioned IEP my son claimed he's fine and doesn't need extra help.
I am running out of solutions for this kid.
I fear for my son's future and I'm at wits end. If any parents have some tips or guidance on dealing with a teen like this that would be greatly appreciated. I'd almost rather he be a toddler at this point because this phase is the worst