u/Infamous-trex13

We live in the plant hardiness zone 4a-4b. Can get away with some 3 and 5 species. We are leveling our lawn and removing huge rocks as we live in a very rocky spot. So basically starting with a blank slate.

The issue: I would prefer native grass seed and everyone wants to sell clover and Kentucky bluegrass. My husband wants those species because of their lush, turf grass qualities. This part of the lawn will be our children's playground and dog run so I understand his wants, but as an ecologist, it hurts. I have my wildflower garden planned, which is about 1/3rd of the yard and he won't be touching.

If I have to compromise on grass seed, what are some native grasses I could mix with the "turf" species? Looking for a soft grass which he will be mowing down.

This has been an online AP for about a year and a half. It's been on and off, back and forth, very strong start and slow burn. We've had a month hiatus before here and there but always always come back to each other. I need to stop! I know I need to stay away and yet he pulls me back in, it's like a reward for me when he finally messages me back.

He was very open at the beginning. He laid down the rules and we had the same expectations. I think I fell harder for him than he did for me. I am the one who always starts the conversations, the compliments, the banter. Everything. And I'm tired. I'm tired of telling him what I want and him saying - nay, convincing - me that he will change. He wants to be my shoulder, the person I run to, to vent to, the works. But I'm so tired of wanting to talk to him every day and getting silence for days until he decides he's interested again. He's pulling me along and I keep falling for it over and over and over.

I am crushing so hard and it's like he says what he needs to in order for me to stay but doesn't mean it with his heart. Ya know? I want to have fun and this isn't fun anymore.

I need to stay strong! Stop messaging him girl! And the worst part is, I have no one to talk to about it! If I could vent to someone, maybe I would feel better and have a clearer understanding of our timeline and relationship. And it would be easier for me to stop with support.

My baby is one year old today!! He spent 13 days in the NICU when he was born and I ugly cried so hard when I saw him in the incubator going to the NICU from our birthing center. The nurse told me they could have my milk sent to the center of whatever I produce in the hospital and I told her with my first it was very difficult, I'm not sure if I'll do it again and she said "Try it. Milk comes in faster with the second baby sometimes" and by the third day upon leaving the hospital myself, I was pumping 2 oz every 2 hours. I rushed to my baby's hospital and from there I developed a great routine for myself. All the nurses were shocked with how much milk I was walking in with. They called me a pumping queen. It was my motivation since I could not hold my baby for so long, I needed to give him something of me.

Fast forward to now, I have 600 oz in the deep freezer. My October and November pumps. My baby is doing amazing with solid food and we have transitioned him to whole milk. My husband's coworker just had a baby, also with pregnancy complications and a NICU stay. The milk will be going to her baby. I'm getting so emotional thinking about it. All my hard work for my baby going to another baby is very amazing. I hope this helps her on her feeding journey and helps another baby grow. Thinking of all the time I spent, how much I hated every part of it, but still putting in the work is incredible to me. It's one of my favorite and greatest accomplishments.

And also, I want to thank this sub, thank the kind people in this sub that helped me along the way and encouraged me to keep going at times when I was ripping my hair out. Thank you ❤️