Do I let my younger sibling go or do I let them stay?
To summarize: My sibling (19) didn't listen to our parent when they were being called for breakfast because they were busy playing on their phone. So our parent got mad af (the last straw was sibling having 'attitude' when anger levels were rising) and took away sibling's phone, which is currently being paid by installment with his own money and he has grown attached to.
Parent's anger was full-blown verbal abuse and life threats, right? The typical 'emotionally constipated/undiagnosed adult that needs serious therapy' issue we all know. Thing is, I personally think my sibling was also in the wrong because they HAVE been behaving/responding shittier when being talked to (to each their own here, rlly, because we have our own bottom line). But like, sibling did fuck up and tried to take away parent's phone last week, because they thought parent took THEIR phone. It was a clusterfuck.
Parent gave sibling 3 options:
"I'll give your expensive ahh phone back, but you pack your bags and go to your mom's house and never show your face again." (fat chance he gets angrier and breaks the phone before giving it back) (also our uncle currently lives there because mom lives on another country)
"You reflect on yourself, the way you've been disrespectful the past few weeks, and save up for a new phone like your initial plan before spontaneously deciding you'll installment your current expensive phone. You'll still have all access to everything here except your phone which I have confiscated and I'll still allow favors like usual." (parent adds he will break the phone, but I personally think he just added that for the threat effect)
"I'll give back phone but all of you are on your own. And every time you say something that, to me, is triggering, I will not pull punches and kick all of you. You will be responsible for your own shit without help from me."
I've also had my share of life threats and psychological damage last year with this same parent - so now I just think of everything in this house as conveniences and inconveniences. IMO, the best course of action for mere survival would be the 2nd Option, and I really believe the device would be given back without damage if we just farmed for Goodwill/Reflection Points in the next few months.
But... I also know how mentally and emotionally damaging it is to stay in this house. I guess I just want my sibling to choose what I chose: which was to stay here so no one would be alone and everything would de-escalate (which did happen on my end).
There's so much unknown in going with the 1st option, but if that would be the best choice for my sibling, then I wouldn't try to convince them in going with the 2nd option anymore. (Yes, I did try. I'm sorry.)
Update: My sibling chose out. Hurrah! They'll be free now, at least.