u/Insightful_Hare

Can’t believe I’m back but I’m seriously spiraling.

I keep getting this weird feeling that I want to break up, like it’s a want, and I try to fight back by saying “no I don’t” and it feels like I’m lying.

I also keep seeing so many people say they found clarity after breaking up, and now it feels like if I break up maybe I’ll get clarity.

I’m also so scared of doing my ERP or getting medicated because I’m scared it’ll lead to some sort of clarity that I don’t want to be with him.

I can’t tell what’s an intrusive thought/urge/feeling anymore either, and I the rocd things on TikTok don’t feel specific enough to me.

And I tried the NOCD app but someone said “trust your instincts” and I’m scared that my instincts are saying “break up”

I feel like I can’t even imagine a future with my partner. Like I don’t want a future or something.

And anytime I read something on rocd it feels like it doesn’t apply to me, even when I try to reason and say “yes this is what I’m feeling” I’m not convinced

I also feel so unsure all the time, like I don’t know if I truly want to break up or not. Or when people post something online saying “I love my boyfriend deeply,” why don’t I get the same feeling?

Help me (17f) and this is my first relationship

I want to really just remind people of things that are so easily forgotten with ROCD.

Urges can absolutely happen even when calm. Just like how intrusive thoughts can happen even when calm. You don’t need to have an immediate reaction to them.

Intrusive thoughts can absolutely manifest as feelings or sensations. What I mean by this is you can experience a feeling of doubt, before ever getting a thought. The best thing is to not argue back with this feeling, and instead sit with this discomfort.

What I’m about to say is going to be real scary, but trust me on this. Be okay with the idea of breaking up. Being okay with this idea is not the same as wanting it. But life can take you down many corridors.

For my folks affected by future-oriented ROCD, do not think of the future, do not seek reassurance in this idea. Live day by day. ROCD can make it hard to envision a future with your partner, it can make it hard to feel love, or to feel okay, it can even make you want to break up desperately.

Commitment issues can coexist with ROCD, making it worst. Make sure to work on yourself and also practice ERP.

OCD is the doubting disorder for a reason, it’s extremely convincing, and yes it can absolutely skew your gut feelings, intuition, or your deep down feelings, it can even make it hard to be sure in your relationship.

At the end of the day, knowing these facts will not soothe your obsessive, intrusive thoughts/feelings/urges. Honestly, get off this subreddit because it tends to be filled with some horrible advice.

You’ve probably see me on the sub a lot. Which is super embarrassing but when you’re in it you’re really in it.

Turns out all of you were right. It was in fact another case of intrusive thought. But I seemingly ended up associating this intrusive thought with the lack of emotion and anxiety. Causing me to believe it.

I feel real silly, and ya I’m not fully okay but I have been practicing my ERP and trying to just accept uncertainty or even “agree” with the thoughts. Yup I feel pretty dumb but oh well. 🙃

And word of advice, don’t search for a gut feeling, or “deep down” feeling or an intuitive feeling. I learned it’s just another form of feelings checking. I feel pretty lame now. Will be deleting Reddit for awhile just to relax and chill mellow out with my partner. ❤️

Nobody is helping, this feels so specific.

Guys please I’m begging you to understand. It’s not a thought it’s a feeling. People say that deep down they know they love their boyfriends or partner but for me it’s the opposite. It’s like I’m getting a FEELING that deep down I don’t love him.

It feels like I’m in denial. Help me please please please. I’m begging.

And I just keep thinking of breaking up, like maybe that’ll fix everything but then I’m scared that it’ll just prove all these feelings correct. (edited)

Nobody is helping, this feels so specific.

Guys please I’m begging you to understand. It’s not a thought it’s a feeling. People say that deep down they know they love their boyfriends or partner but for me it’s the opposite. It’s like I’m getting a FEELING that deep down I don’t love him.

It feels like I’m in denial. Help me please please please. I’m begging.

And I just keep thinking of breaking up, like maybe that’ll fix everything but then I’m scared that it’ll just prove all these feelings correct. (edited)

For context, I’ve been getting this horrible feeling, not a thought, FEELING (!!!!), that I don’t love my boyfriend. It’s incredibly convincing.

Or I’ve been getting the feeling that I’m just lying. I found this article and was wondering what peoples thoughts on it are. Has anyone else felt this way, like they feel like they don’t love their partner.

It’s like my “deep down” feeling of love was replaced by the opposite.

Nobody is understanding me. I feel so alone. It’s not a thought it’s a feeling. I’m worried. I don’t know.

I’m freaking out so much. I don’t even know where to begin but for some reason it feels like I don’t want to be with my partner. I feel like nobody understands what I mean when I say this. It isn’t a thought, it’s a FEELING. It’s so terrifying. And it’s like my body is saying “just break up and leave.” But I don’t want too, but at the same time I wonder if I’m just in denial. It feels like denial.

It FEELS, emphasis on the feelings, that I don’t love him or want to be with him.

And I wonder what if I don’t want to break up solely because I’m scared of hurting him. I don’t know anymore.

And I’m scared that what if I start recovering from ROCD and then I don’t want to be with him.

Then when I feel calm, and I get the thoughts, it feels like the truth, like I don’t really like him or want to be with him. And it feels like I’m not getting a deep down feeling of “I love him.”

It’s like nobody understands what I’m going through. It’s not thoughts, it’s feelings. Like I get this feeling that I don’t love him, or want to be with him, or that I want to break up. Please help

My biggest question is why does it feel so real? My specific question has a little more to it.

I FEEL as if I don’t love my partner, it’s not just a thought, it’s a feeling.

So this leads me to my specific question of why? Why does this feel like a feeling and not a regular thought? What in our brains makes it feel like a feeling and not just a thought, it makes it so incredibly scary.

It genuinely feels like I don’t love my partner anymore. Like it’s a feeling, not just a thought, something I FEEL. I feel like I’m not experiencing enough anxiety, I feel kind of numb. I can’t tell if I truly love him or not.

Anytime I hang out with him, talk to him, hold his hand, it feels like I’m faking.

My brain or maybe my ocd, I can’t tell, keeps yelling to break up. But I don’t want to. But I’m scared that what if I do, and that these feelings are real. I know I’ve posted so many times but I don’t know what I want anymore. I’m scared but not scared enough.

I get worried that I’m in denial and that I really don’t love him.

The more I read on this subreddit, the more I get nervous that I don’t love my partner, or want to fight for this relationship. I’m so lost. I don’t even know if I want to be around him or not. It feels like I’ve lost all love or happiness for him.

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling. But after a huge panic attack yesterday, I started feeling more numb to the intrusive thoughts.

But whenever I get the thoughts, it feels like the truth. Thoughts like “you don’t love him” or “you should breakup.”

I don’t want to break up but I don’t know what I want because OCD makes it really hard to see what I do and what I don’t want. It just feels like me or the truth at this point.

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling. But after a huge panic attack yesterday, I started feeling more numb to the intrusive thoughts.

But whenever I get the thoughts, it feels like the truth. Thoughts like “you don’t love him” or “you should breakup.”

I don’t want to break up but I don’t know what I want because OCD makes it really hard to see what I do and what I don’t want. It just feels like me or the truth at this point.

First time posting on this subreddit, fair warning I do in fact have ROCD.

For some context I’ve liked this specific guy for about two months now. We’ve already confessed our feelings to eachother and are now in a stage of developing our relationship.

But I’ve learned the definition of limerence recently and I’m struggling on figuring out if what I’m experiencing for him is a regular intense crush or if I’m experiencing limerence. The idea of limerence itself gives me a lot of anxiety, and paired with my usual ROCD doubts, I’m nervous that what if I’m experiencing limerence and then it dissipates and then I no longer want to pursue or be with him.

ROCD itself is already difficult as I doubt if I even like him in the first place, but paired with this new specific obsession around limerence it’s been eating at me for a couple days.

Here are some things that make me worry it’s limerence:

• I often checked if he was online
• One time he didn’t reciprocate a compliment I gave him, I ended up overthinking and crying over it.
• I would wait for his responses
• Feel like I think about him often
• My overall maladaptive daydreams of us together. Can’t think of any more but if I do, I’ll update this post.

Any advice on ROCD, limerence and crushes will be greatly appreciated. This will pretty much be my only post on this topic so I can keep my peace and not constantly seek reassurance. ❤️

(Also posted on the OCD subreddit, though I provided more context in this one)

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted on this subreddit. If you’ve seen my past posts you would know I’ve struggled with POCD in the past (much better now.) But OCD isn’t kind, as you all know, and now I’ve been struggling with ROCD.

For some context I’ve liked this specific guy for about two months now. We’ve already confessed our feelings to eachother and are now in a stage of developing our relationship.

But I’ve learned the definition of limerence recently and I’m struggling on figuring out if what I’m experiencing for him is a regular intense crush or if I’m experiencing limerence. The idea of limerence itself gives me a lot of anxiety, and paired with my usual ROCD doubts, I’m nervous that what if I’m experiencing limerence and then it dissipates and then I no longer want to pursue or be with him.

ROCD itself is already difficult as I doubt if I even like him in the first place, but paired with this new specific obsession around limerence it’s been eating at me for a couple days.

Any advice on ROCD, limerence and crushes will be greatly appreciated. This will pretty much be my only post on this topic so I can keep my peace and not constantly seek reassurance. ❤️

Edit: Might also post to limerence subreddit!