u/Intelligent-Rise-752

Keep in mind we are not adults. My friend (f) is planning to throw one of the first house parties of the year. Previously, she has gone on about how her garden is amazing for a party.

A few months ago, we planned for her to have a party and were making a list of who should come. The list was very unpolished and had barely anyone on it, but it still came to around 50–60 people.

After discussing it with her parents, they said it was okay for her to throw a party, and she is planning to. However, somehow the group chat only has 30 people. Although that's around a class full of people, for a party where you want people to feel comfortable and not on show, it's not a lot—especially for a garden that isn't small.

A lot of the boys in the group chat are not from her friendship group. She asked someone else to invite people so it would be a mixed group and not just one gender with an uneven ratio. She has also allowed a few extra people to come because she thought they had no other friends.

Today, I asked her if it would be okay if a few more boys came, as everyone—including her—has invited a boy who is definitely coming. The one she invited lives near her and is acting uninterested, but he'll probably still come. The only person without anyone is me.
She said she's so stressed and doesn't want strangers in her house, which is completely reasonable. However, you can't really say you're hosting a party and then not allow anyone to bring their friends. Keep in mind that everyone in the group chat is a mutual friend of someone else, so they aren't complete strangers.

She keeps saying she's so stressed, as if she didn't come up with the idea to have a party. She could have called it a gathering instead, which is a completely different vibe.

Tons of my other friends have also told me that everyone is saying it's going to be dead, that no one really wants to come, and that they'll probably just all go out afterwards.

Update no one asked for: I hope it is clearer to read

Yesterday, she wasn't even mad. She just wanted to know why I felt that way. A big part of it was my own feelings, but a lot of it was based on other people's opinions. I didn't want her to not know that people were feeling a certain way about her party.

I was also texting her while I was out with my other friends, so it wasn't like I was just talking behind her back.
Today in class, I was discussing games and activities for the party, and everyone was bouncing ideas off each other. The host loved all the suggestions, so it's not like I'm only going to this party for guys or anything like that.

Yesterday, when I was talking about it, I also said that 40 people is a lot. However, out of those people, at least half aren't people who would actually enjoy it. They're only there because they have mutual friends going or they know the host. That's what I meant—it wasn't about the number of people, but more about who she has chosen. Then again, it's her party, so she can choose whoever she wants to invite.
She also said she doesn't want anyone else coming because she's already lied to her parents about the extra eight people she's invited.

However, today a boy she thinks is cute ,and has been trying to get to come said he would come if he could bring a friend who's a girl. She immediately said yes because she wants him to come so badly.
Yesterday, though, when I was naming people she already knew who would enjoy the party, she said no.

I understand that I probably am the bad person because it seems like I'm trying to dictate who gets invited, but honestly, it isn't about the number of people. You'd just obviously want people there who would actually enjoy each other's company.

I understand it's not my party, but a lot of people in the comments were saying that it's not about the number of people going. You can have a really fun party with just 10 people, as long as all 10 are excited to be there and actually want to be there. However, a lot of the people who are going don't actually seem to want to be there.We're also not adults— we're just teenagers/young adults who want to have fun and enjoy ourselves while we're young.

I hope the spelling and punctuation is better this time x

There was a girl I was very close with last year and at the start of this year. We had a group of four who were always together, and we all had a similar sense of humour. We also shared a deeper understanding of each others through race.

A few months into the year, she started becoming distant from everyone, although she stayed close with me for a while. Eventually, she became distant with me too and started hanging around with different people. That's completely her choice, but she would only come back to us when she couldn't find anyone else.

She also has a habit of overreacting to situations, later admitting she didn't need to, but her reactions often damage her friendships.

After some time, we became close again, but then, without any explanation, she became distant once more. It wasn't because I'd done anything wrong, as I would have apologised if I had.

A few days ago, a boy she'd had an on-and-off situation with messaged me. We've become friends, and he's like a big brother to me. He told me she'd been saying for a long time that she doesn't like any of us. I didn't respond negatively because they could become friends again, and I didn't know if he was testing my reaction.

I then spoke to two other friends, who both said they'd already realised she didn't like us. One of them also told me she'd been saying the same things to other people, including her best friend and some boys.

Because I genuinely thought she was one of my close friends, I messaged her asking if there was a problem. I said I understood if she thought we were "too much," but I didn't understand why she'd tell other people instead of us. I didn't mention my other friends because they didn't want me to.

We spoke in person, and she said the boy had simply asked how her day was, and she'd called us annoying. She also said there wasn't a specific issue, just "little things."

Since then, things have been awkward. I don't have a problem if she doesn't want to be friends with us, but I do have a problem with her telling multiple people instead of speaking to us directly. If it was really only "little things," I don't understand why she never gave us the chance to talk about them.
Now I'm unsure how to move forward.

my friend is planning to throw one of the first house parties of the year. previously she has gone on about how her garden is amazing for a party. a few months ago we planned for her to have a party and was making a list of who should come. the list was very unpolished and had barely anyone on it but it still came to 50-60 people. after discussion with her parents they have said it’s okay to throw a party and she is planning to but some how the group chat only have 30 people and although that’s around a class full of people for a party where you want people to feel comfortable and not on show it’s not a lot especially for a garden that’s not small. and a lot of the boys in the group chat are not from her she asked someone to invite people so it’s a mixed group and not just 1 gender on an uneven ratio. she has allowed a few extra people to come because she thought they had no other friends but today i asked her is it okay if a few more boys come as eveyone including her have invited a boy who is definitely coming and the one she invited lives near her and is putting a front to sound uninterested. the only person without anyone is me and she said how she is so stressed and doesn’t want strangers in her house which is very reasonable but you can’t say your hosting a party then not allow anyone to bring their friends,keep in mind all the people in the group chat are mural friends with one person or the other. she is saying she’s just so stressed as if she didn’t come up with the idea to have a party she could’ve stated it as a gathering which is a whole other vibe.ons of my other friends also told me everyone is saying it’s going to be dead and no one wants to come and to just all go out after. aitah for trying to get her to invite more people?