u/Intelligent_Ebb3756

Hi everyone, sorry to post this on here, but I have been a member of this subreddit for a while so sorta felt safe here idk. This is a throwaway account this is kinda of embarrassing. A few months ago I lost my job at a certain NGO, finding a new one has been an uphill battle, with no income I have been unable to donate or contribute to my regular charities. This has left me feeling horrible. Cognitively I understand I have nothing to be ashamed of, like currently I am under threat of eviction since I haven't for a few months, but that doesn't negate the fact that I feel horrible. How does one cope with that, I am at a point where I can't even afford food, and this is how I choose to punish myself. My mind is guilt tripping me, funny right!!!!

I haven't posted something like this ever, but I feel like I am exploding. This may not even reach anyone but atleast it off my mind. I am losing my mind. I lost my job back in December (contract ended) and for the last 7 months I have been looking for work.

Not to toot my own horn but I am a great worker, first class honors in International Studies and really good at what I do. But that does not seem to matter, I have been applying and applying and applying but nothing successful. Whoever said money doesn't make you happy is a liar. Without a job, I have no income, with no income, I can't pay my bills, so now I have ran through my savings and in fear of eviction with a debt of 38,000 Kes.

Then to top it all of my mother is now sick, yaani when the rain chooses to pour it thunders. I wake every morning with a headache and go to bed with one, I have taken all the headex and paracetamol there is to take, suicide is becoming more and more appealing. What is the purpose of life truly if suffering is all you get. I did everything right, everything. I went to school, did my best, graduated, did the internships, worked hard but here I am I can't even afford food, FOOD. I have never been in a situation like this before.

I sit here and think to myself why not just end it all, all this suffering and pain. I have reached out to family and friends for help and this is when you know who actually is there for you, in my case; No one. When I had money everyone, but now no one. I am losing it. What do I do? Where do I go? Please I need help/advice anything, I am losing my mind. If anyone has a job or referral or even any leads they can offer my email is; mitchellewambui387@gmail.com, you can also text me or donate on saf; 0742533873

I haven't posted something like this ever, but I feel like I am exploding. This may not even reach anyone but atleast it off my mind. I am losing my mind. I lost my job back in December (contract ended) and for the last 7 months I have been looking for work.

Not to toot my own horn but I am a great worker, first class honors in International Studies and really good at what I do. But that does not seem to matter, I have been applying and applying and applying but nothing successful. Whoever said money doesn't make you happy is a liar. Without a job, I have no income, with no income, I can't pay my bills, so now I have ran through my savings and in fear of eviction with a debt of 38,000 Kes.

Then to top it all of my mother is now sick, yaani when the rain chooses to pour it thunders. I wake every morning with a headache and go to bed with one, I have taken all the headex and paracetamol there is to take, suicide is becoming more and more appealing. What is the purpose of life truly if suffering is all you get. I did everything right, everything. I went to school, did my best, graduated, did the internships, worked hard but here I am I can't even afford food, FOOD. I have never been in a situation like this before.

I sit here and think to myself why not just end it all, all this suffering and pain. I have reached out to family and friends for help and this is when you know who actually is there for you, in my case; No one. When I had money everyone, but now no one. I am losing it. What do I do? Where do I go? Please I need help/advice anything, I am losing my mind. If anyone has a job or referral or even any leads they can offer my email is; mitchellewambui387@gmail.com, you can also text me or donate on saf; 0742533873

I haven't posted something like this ever, but I feel like I am exploding. This may not even reach anyone but atleast it off my mind. I am losing my mind. I lost my job back in December (contract ended) and for the last 7 months I have been looking for work.

Not to toot my own horn but I am a great worker, first class honors in International Studies and really good at what I do. But that does not seem to matter, I have been applying and applying and applying but nothing successful. Whoever said money doesn't make you happy is a liar. Without a job, I have no income, with no income, I can't pay my bills, so now I have ran through my savings and in fear of eviction with a debt of 38,000 Kes.

Then to top it all of my mother is now sick, yaani when the rain chooses to pour it thunders. I wake every morning with a headache and go to bed with one, I have taken all the headex and paracetamol there is to take, suicide is becoming more and more appealing. What is the purpose of life truly if suffering is all you get. I did everything right, everything. I went to school, did my best, graduated, did the internships, worked hard but here I am I can't even afford food, FOOD. I have never been in a situation like this before.

I sit here and think to myself why not just end it all, all this suffering and pain. I have reached out to family and friends for help and this is when you know who actually is there for you, in my case; No one. When I had money everyone, but now no one. I am losing it. What do I do? Where do I go? Please I need help/advice anything, I am losing my mind. If anyone has a job or referral or even any leads they can offer my email is; mitchellewambui387@gmail.com, you can also text me or donate on saf; 0742533873

I haven't posted something like this ever, but I feel like I am exploding. This may not even reach anyone but atleast it off my mind. I am losing my mind. I lost my job back in December (contract ended) and for the last 7 months I have been looking for work.

Not to toot my own horn but I am a great worker, first class honors in International Studies and really good at what I do. But that does not seem to matter, I have been applying and applying and applying but nothing successful. Whoever said money doesn't make you happy is a liar. Without a job, I have no income, with no income, I can't pay my bills, so now I have ran through my savings and in fear of eviction with a debt of 38,000 Kes.

Then to top it all of my mother is now sick, yaani when the rain chooses to pour it thunders. I wake every morning with a headache and go to bed with one, I have taken all the headex and paracetamol there is to take, suicide is becoming more and more appealing. What is the purpose of life truly if suffering is all you get. I did everything right, everything. I went to school, did my best, graduated, did the internships, worked hard but here I am I can't even afford food, FOOD. I have never been in a situation like this before.

I sit here and think to myself why not just end it all, all this suffering and pain. I have reached out to family and friends for help and this is when you know who actually is there for you, in my case; No one. When I had money everyone, but now no one. I am losing it. What do I do? Where do I go? Please I need help/advice anything, I am losing my mind. If anyone has a job or referral or even any leads they can offer my email is; mitchellewambui387@gmail.com, you can also text me or donate on saf; 0742533873

I haven't posted something like this ever, but I feel like I am exploding. This may not even reach anyone but atleast it off my mind.

I am losing my mind. I lost my job back in December (contract ended) and for the last 7 months I have been looking for work. Not to toot my own horn but I am a great worker, first class honors in International Studies and really good at what I do. But that does not seem to matter, I have been applying and applying and applying but nothing successful.

Whoever said money doesn't make you happy is a liar. Without a job, I have no income, with no income, I can't pay my bills, so now I have ran through my savings and in fear of eviction with a debt of 38,000 Kes. Then to top it all of my mother is now sick, yaani when the rain chooses to pour it thunders. I wake every morning with a headache and go to bed with one, I have taken all the headex and paracetamol there is to take, suicide is becoming more and more appealing. What is the purpose of life truly if suffering is all you get.

I did everything right, everything. I went to school, did my best, graduated, did the internships, worked hard but here I am I can't even afford food, FOOD. I have never been in a situation like this before. I sit here and think to myself why not just end it all, all this suffering and pain. I have reached out to family and friends for help and this is when you know who actually is there for you, in my case; No one. When I had money everyone, but now no one. I am losing it. What do I do? Where do I go? Please I need help/advice anything, I am losing my mind.

If anyone has a job or referral or even any leads they can offer my email is; mitchellewambui387@gmail.com, you can also text me on saf; 0742533873