u/Interesting_Ebb3347

Is singapore as a society lacking adequate awareness and education about therapy? Why do the people who need therapy not believe in therapy? Are there misconceptions about therapy, hence people are not going for it?

It’s a pressure cooker society and many of us didn’t grow up in a healthy environment. So why do people remain unaware and continue carrying trauma instead of getting help?

I met quite a few people while I was on dating apps but I never kept in contact with any of them, especially after getting attached. But, sometimes I wish I stayed in touch with them because I would like to have friends in the LGBTQ+ community. Of course now that I’m seeing someone, I wouldn’t be going back on the apps. But I find it a pity I didn’t stay in touch with some of them because it would have been nice to form friendships with them. I wonder sometimes how they’re doing now.

She didn’t cheat on me. But she smoked behind my back for over a year and allowed her closest friends to encourage her to do it, and said nothing to her friends who disrespected me. She never properly addressed it other than saying she doesn’t smoke anymore, and her friends never apologised for encouraging her on it and disrespecting me to my face.

It’s been over a year since I found out, but it still haunts me. I want to be able to trust her fully, but I haven’t been able to. I don’t want to question her every move, wonder if she’s meeting said friends behind my back, smoking behind my back (especially when she meets smokers), treating me like a fool.

She hasn’t been transparent about her connection with said friends. She says they aren’t close anymore, but she is still in contact with them and have met up with them. She doesn’t share her location, and she’s very wary about me looking at her phone. She also hasn’t been consistent in her efforts in rebuilding the trust.

This incident aside, she has been refusing therapy despite knowing that there’s something off and that she might need help. I am the one who has been going for therapy for over two years now for the sake of my own mental health and personal growth. But I can’t help but feel that I am being held back because she’s not growing alongside me, individually and in this relationship.

I have a soft spot for her knowing her past and growing up years. I’ve been trying my best to be a supportive partner while she deals with personal challenges. But it wears me down on difficult days.

How do I look past what has happened and look towards rebuilding our relationship and trusting her again?

Fancy dates are nice, but relationships aren’t all about grand gestures. What’s something seemingly insignificant your partner has done, or does consistently, that makes you feel considered and cared for? Such as meeting you at the bus stop after work everyday, surprising you at your work place, gets you your favourite food without you asking?

On the other end of the spectrum, what is something your partner has done that makes you feel that they’re selfish and don’t care enough about you? The small things they consistently do to make you feel like you don’t matter enough to them?