i know queer events exist, but as someone who's socially awkward and without any wlw friends irl i don't have the guts to go to such events alone... so i was wondering how do y'all find your people
hi im 27f wlw, been entertaining the thought of adopting a kid in my mid-30s, regardless of whether im single or still partnered by then. i do not want any biological kids. im a single child and out to my family so they are very supportive of me potentially adopting. i know the adoption process is tough and financially draining, so im just wondering if any sg queer couples/singles have actually gone through it and willing to share their experience here~
(using a burner bc idw my irls to find me)
hiii i'm a 19f femme (almost 20) and i really want a gf, but i'm straight passing and afraid of approaching others first so i've had no luck 🥹
i'm attracted to tall mascs (168cm and above) who don't smoke/vape/club and will listen to me yap, but i genuinely have no idea where they're hiding although i've heard they're everywhere... i'm also described a lot as a cutie rather than a baddie so it's hard to find a masc who will like me too 😭 all the mascs i've seen tend to go for the baddies and just see me as a little sister which i think is sad
anyways i will only be young once and i'm really bored so we Ball i'm trying my luck on reddit
feel free to drop me a dm if you'd like, my preferred age range is 2001-2007 - even if nothing happens, we can always just be friends 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
keeping my fingers crossed!!!!!
Feel like the pronoun market is over saturated. Bare with me, because ill be trying to articulate an "ick"
It has sort of put this notion into the average cis person's mind that pronouns are just "labels" rather than concrete identity markers.
What?
Basically, people use language like "they/she/he identify as enby,etc."
A cis person doesn't say they identify as their agab, its assumed, just like with trans people.
However , with trans people, due to the overuse of this language, people associate trans people with their agab and their "preferred gender".
I dont need to know what agab a enby is, because isnt a coore tenant of enby identity to not have a associable gender? (thus nonbinary?)
To me the entire use of "identify" and "preferred gender" do more harm to trans people than good, because cis and (some) trans people will now always have that notion in mind of "oh A was a man" or "oh A was a woman" or "oh A is actually a woman/man, but they identify as non binary"
It feels transphobic, or icky, to have a "preferred gender", when most of us are that gender, we dont want to be that gender (though we want to look like that gender) but we are.
I dont need to know that this post op passing trans person is trans, i dont need to disclose im trans, in fact im just cis actually.
Trans people dont need to be othered, just say like "yeah A is actually a girl"(becouse she is)
do yall get what im saying O.o
i understand that in queer spaces specifically in women loving women, their styles are very much telling. it is a good style though not something i can pull off.
im 163cm 25f i would say fem, and recently i experienced and discovered that i enjoy being top hahah.
alot of people have told me i look “really pretty” or im “their type” my friends say that i look straight haha .. tbf clothes are expensive and ill only buy what i think its safe and modest. thats my style actually.
not glazing myself in this post.. just abit confused because i did work on my appearance only to have the opposite reaction from my target audience 💔
I've been looking for places to rent for the last two months and I can't tell if it's been dog shit because of my ethnicity or my gender. Half of the agents leave me on read and ghost me. I'm so freaking tired of it, I graduated and I don't even get to enjoy the damn thing without worrying if I'll have a place to stay when I come back.
I met quite a few people while I was on dating apps but I never kept in contact with any of them, especially after getting attached. But, sometimes I wish I stayed in touch with them because I would like to have friends in the LGBTQ+ community. Of course now that I’m seeing someone, I wouldn’t be going back on the apps. But I find it a pity I didn’t stay in touch with some of them because it would have been nice to form friendships with them. I wonder sometimes how they’re doing now.
I'm a 30 year old adult. Currently identify as a cis male. However some stuff both this year and last year got me questioning if I'm trans. I want to try doing further experimenting/ actually figure out if I'm trans before seeing any professionals but I don't want to alarm my family members. I'm specifically looking for the following:
Thanks
i don’t really post here but i decided to come on here to make more wlw friends that are preferably around my age! i’ve been thinking about going to pink dot this year and i think im more comfortable going there with someone rather than alone 😓
this will be my first time going for it too! :D lmk if you’re interested in going there tgt !! (we’ll text first ofc)
I understand with the new guidelines we can't go to Pulse clinic anymore, but I was wondering if there are any other options for us. I was considering i-screen but it seems like while they don't require a consult, the doctor is still there to draw the blood so I'm not sure if he'll ask why I need the bloods done. I'm also still currently under 21 so my options are more limited.
i've always asked my bsf what having a crush feels like and all she said is "you'll know when you have one" and oh my god this is the most soul crushing experience i've ever had. all my previous "crushes" were nothing compared to this (if they even were considered crushes), i'll even go ahead and say that this is the first crush ive ever had in my entire life
i met her recently, about a bit more than month ago at a thing i'll just refer to as an event/project. the event lasted 2 weeks where the group would spend the entire day together and we got kinda close i guess since she's my closest friend in the group. we've been hanging out after, at least once a week in both group settings and one on one.
i don't even know when i caught feelings, it was probably near the start of the event. she caught my eye during the event briefing 3 months ago bro she's 100% my type like you guys dont get it i gave myself an "ideal type" as a joke because it was a super unrealistic type esp here in singapore but omg?? i didn't expect someone to just come along and completely fit this type???? even thinking about her im going completely feral. she's done things to me that i can easily get the wrong idea if not for the fact that ik she acts like this to all her friends 😞
the problem comes in where even though ik she swings both ways she keeps talking about her crush/eye candy and i feel my heart just shatter 😭😭 we had this convo and she said "obv as someone that likes (guy) idw him to keep talking about another girl that he might be interested in" and i just went "haha i wonder how that feels like" KILL ME NOWWWWWWWWWWWW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. even if things don't work out with this guy ik I have absolutely zero shot with her because i just know im not her type at all, i dont even know if she's ever had a crush on a girl. i'm probably going to find a way to ask soon because i ownself also curious, but ive accidentally subtly told her i like girls (i implied that i was bi tho) and she also implied back that she was bi. i dont want to ruin the friendship as well because she rlly is a good friend and such an amazing person in general
so i guess there's nothing much i can do right now. im just posting this to get it out of my head and to get people's opinions on how i should proceed frm here cause i genuinely dont know. she's in my head 24/7 i actl cant do this anym im crashing out i've never crashed out this badly over someone i'm interested in. i would do anything to even have a shot of being with her, i would change all the bad parts of myself and fix myself for the chance that she can even see me as more than a friend. obviously i want to be with her but i just dont want to risk the friendship ☹☹ im also the type of person to be interested in someone and not do things about it like my prev "crush" i liked for 4 years, the entirety of secondary school and i did nothing about it sooooooooo im just a coward man 😭
okay bye im going to go back to studying, but if you've read until here please give me your thoughts and advice :,)
I’m 20 and thinking about moving out/running away around July/August due to personal/family reasons. Right now I have around 5k+ saved and I’m trying to figure out what amount is realistically “safe enough” before moving. (i am saying "running away" because im not allowed to move out)
This is not an impulsive decision, i’ve actually been thinking about and planning this for years. I’ve been saving money for some time and trying to plan things as realistically as possible before making any decisions.
My family environment is extremely difficult for me. They are very religious and traditional while I don’t share the same beliefs or values, and there is a lot of pressure to conform to expectations that don’t align with me. Dating is not allowed and there is strong expectation of arranged marriage in the near future. I also don’t feel like I have much freedom to live independently or make personal life choices.
Another issue is that my family is pressuring me heavily into university even though I don’t want to go right now and I’m not allowed to take a gap year. They already made me apply for university, and university is expected to start around July, which is part of why I feel pressured to figure things out soon. Staying longer in this environment is seriously affecting my mental health and making me feel trapped. I want to move out before any university-related financial commitments begin.
The place I may move into would be around $700/month rent, and I estimate my total monthly living expenses would be around 1.5k/month.
For people in Singapore who moved out young:
I’d appreciate realistic advice from people with experience.
With the new guidelines from MOH, reporters — sometimes from around the world — are going to ask questions about your experience as a young trans person in Singapore.
We recently received an email inquiry from what we later found out was a TERF news source. This is a reminder for the community that they should take steps to protect themselves even against journalists:
DO NOT GET SCAMMED OR TRAPPED. I urge members of the community to refrain from responding to reporters' questions without checking a reporter's credentials and priors. Always check a reporter's credentials. If they are emailing from an established news website, they should have that website in their email. Check that the website is valid, and check if that website is affiliated with TERF sources in the US, UK or another Anglophone country. (And yes, The Guardian is a TERF news source)
When speaking to a reporter, ALWAYS USE A PSEUDONYM. Do NOT use a psuedonym that is similar to your chosen name. Do NOT use a pseud that ties back to your handle on Discord or any other social media. You should insist on being anonymous unless you are confident that you and your support network are able to handle being under the spotlight.
When speaking to a reporter, do NOT offer information that is harmful or hurtful in nature. Always assume that the information you give up will hurt you, unless you trust the news outlet and the news reporter writing the piece.
Thank you!
[really sorry for the repost, apparently got caught in Reddit's filters]
Hi all 17 MTF here, I haven't seen a lot of posts on this topic but m really wondering what will happen to me when I'm called up to serve?
For context, I've been on hrt for 11-2 months (supplier got blocked 4 months in and had to wait for a new one to resurface) on diy hrt, and now that I'm starting an Anti-Androgen and the feminization has REALLY kicked into high gear (softer skin, fat redis thru the face ON TOP of what the estradiol has done), I'm scared ill be forced to detran to keep up with the physical ly demanding aspect of NS, ESPECIALLY IN LIGHT OF MAY 5!?!?!?!
I am also VERY worried that I'm going to be put in very physically demanding jobs (mainly army cuz lower strength and being viewed as lesser and bullied for ykw) and being forced to shave BALD?!?!? I've been bald to save money on school haircut and I've felt nothing but pure agony from it
But luckily, I've just started poly and have 3 years for it to work its magic so I'm wondering if I can get away with looking the like a girl
OK HI QUESTIONS I ALMOST FORGOT TO ADD
Just wanted to make a PSA to everyone about being vigilant and aware of your surroundings :-( Long story short I was taking a dump at the CC during work hours earlier. Usually I go to a pretty secluded/unfrequented toilet because I’m a shy pooper.
While I’m inside minding my own business, I hear someone enter the toilet and go into the cubicle next to mine. Nothing wrong, but after a long while it felt a bit off because it was TOO silent. So I looked around and from the corner of my eye I spotted the person’s phone camera peeking on top of the walls of the cubicle. I’m lucky to have spotted it as he was raising it up, so I don’t think he managed to take anything significant (I hope)…
When I caught him he kept apologising but also had the audacity to ask really inappropriate things 😭😭 Dude was mad corny or something and kept asking me to be involved in whatever the hell he was doing. I got him to open up and show me his phone. In hindsight I should have taken a video/photo of him when I did that 😞 but I was too frazzled.
In the end, told the CC staff and they asked me to launch a report.
Lots of sick people around guys, always keep a look out and stay safe 🥲🥲
I know getting 377A repealed was a massive milestone, and there are definitely a lot of valid conversations to be had about keeping our spaces safe. But lately, it feels like our movement has completely fractured and we're just focused on fighting each other.
Ya I get that calling out genuinely harmful behavior is one thing, but it feels like every other day now we are just beefing over whether AMABs are truly "safe," (ngl enbys should get to exist without gendered bs), arguing in feminist circles about whether misandry can be real, or aggressively calling out "toxic" people in our own community. If I wanted to watch an endless compilation of people purity-testing each other and arguing over micro-labels, tbh church isn't that different lol can just go there.
I feel like we are losing the actual "activism" part of our movement.
377A was the bare minimum, not the bar. We still have massive systemic hurdles to cross in Singapore:
Housing inequality for queer couples
Workplace discrimination protections
Accessible trans healthcare
Marriage
Anti-discrimination laws
But now the main discourse just feels like endless internal beefs, and dare I say, quite toxic considering the actual systems discriminating against us haven't changed at all.
I get that hyper-analyzing language and policing each other's trauma is a very common internet trait atp, but honestly, bringing that energy into our local organizing is just incredibly counterproductive. This constant cycle of outrage and internal policing shouldn't be the way forward for our community. Why are we trying to cannibalize our own movement instead of dismantling the system? Overall it feels like this space is getting more and more negative and exhausting.
Am I the only one who feels this way? We really need to redirect our energy outward again. I dunno. I'm aware I may be in the minority opinion here.
Writing this here maybe because I’m asking for advice, but more out of frustration with life and the people I’ve dated.
Last year, I met this guy overseas. We kept in contact and eventually became really close. Later on, he got a work visa and moved to Oceania for work. We would talk a lot about his new life there, the people, the culture, and everything he was experiencing.
For him, I was probably one of the first people he got really close to. I never expected much from the start because realistically, we came from completely different worlds. Still, somewhere along the way, feelings naturally grew.
Recently, he told me he met a really great guy there. He even asked me for dating tips and advice on relationships. I gave him the advice genuinely because I wanted him to be happy, and honestly, I think he’s finally getting to enjoy a life that he probably always felt repressed from before.
And I know I should feel happy for him.
But at the same time, it hurts a lot.
It brought me back into that same depressing feeling again, wondering why this keeps happening over and over in my life. I know maybe it was one-sided from the beginning, and maybe I read too much into the closeness we had, but emotions don’t really listen to logic sometimes.
Maybe the painful part is seeing someone finally become free and happy… just not with you.
hiiii I’m a 19F butch4butch lesbian and I’m reaching out to other wlw butches! (Only in my age range, 19+!) I’ve never seen any butch4butch couples in sg and it’s already been hard to find other butches but I’m here to try my luck >:D
I hope to expand my social circle and meet new people for sports, bar hopping, sapphic events(?) and online stuff like co-op gaming~! Open to friends or more as well!
I like to draw, workout and game most of the time! My Top 3s for games are:
- RDR2
- Cyberpunk2077
- The Last of Us
I love anime as well, Death Note and Chiikawa! <3
Feel free to reach out to me, DMs are open!! :D
I personally only heard of the repeal of 377A about 3 years ago and since then I have not been informed about anything within the SG-LGBTQ rights sphere. I recently came across this recent release by MOH where they were restricting GD treatment on Twitter but couldn't find it since.. 😅
I have a few questions,
Has gender rights been backsliding more and more? Or is this a more recent, unexpected incursion?
It is to my understanding that pro-family conservatives have been advocating for restrictions on gender discourse, and if I remember correctly the head of one of the film review bureaus was a religious family conservative.
And where to get organized? I was recently at the Labor Day rally but I did not manage to speak to the LGBTQ collectives there. I do believe however that my struggles are aligned, we all stand to lose dearly if we don't organize. Are there any organizations where straight folk like myself can assist? Or at least follow up, share, stay informed etc?
Any help is much appreciated!
My top surgery is scheduled in a month (yay!) and Dr Stephanie is my surgeon. Was wondering if anyone else had surgery with her and if they can share their results. I totally fumbled during my consult a few months ago and didn’t ask or get to see her before and after photos :p