I (17F) need more wlw friends with similar interests haha. I’m also interested in something more but I’d rather that happen more naturally, and if nothing more happens it is always good to have more friends
For reference, I like playing overwatch mainly! Very hard to find singaporeans who play ow so if you do please hmu!! I also love genshin, wuwa and valorant.
Just a vent because it just feels too bad right now. I met a girl online 5 months ago and started liking her, and she told me she liked me too, that she was attracted to me. After a while I told her I wanted to date, but she said she wasn’t rejecting me but wanted to get to know me more first. We got really close, affectionate and all that. We would send sweet long paragraphs and voice messages to each other almost weekly and it really felt like it was leading to something. We talked a lot about how we would act if we were dating and what our preferences were for dates.
But she reveals around the 3 month mark that she wasn’t ready for a relationship, she said it wasn’t me it was her, but she still wanted to continue what we had. I opened up to her, let myself love her, and I really felt like I met the one. But we argued so often too, every week on repeat we’d argue about something. It went to a point where every week one of us would want to leave and part ways, but we stayed over and over hoping it would get better. And every time we stayed, we were just as close and it felt closer even. She said multiple times she loved me but later revealed that she only said it to make me happy and she didn’t actually feel it.
Even though I was miserable and cried more times in these 5 months than I have the past 3 years, I thought to myself that it was worth it to be with the person I love. I was pressuring her to date me, yes, because I felt it was unfair that she liked me back but felt too scared and unsure to commit. That led to a lot of arguments.
Eventually, the arguments got too much and we decided it’s better to part ways. I broke no contact 2 days in though, and messaged her. I don’t know what my goal was. I didn’t want to get back because I know the arguments would continue and I’d have to lose her and the pain all over again. She was really empathetic at first and she missed me too, but when i mentioned dating again she blew up and got upset, and said she doesn’t like me that way, even though she spent the last few months repeatedly telling me she did. She flirted with me and sent me many videos of her, one of her kissing the camera.
I just got really angry that she said that and it made me realise I don’t want her here in my life, it was too toxic and love shouldn’t be that difficult. One on hand, I hate myself for pressuring her so much to date, but on the other hand, she knew always that she didn’t want to date me and didn’t tell me. She used me for affection and led me on for ages without even wanting to commit.
I don’t want her back, I hate liars and I removed all our chats from my device, but I still miss her. I still feel the loss and it sucks. I just need reminders of how horribly toxic this was so I can just stop missing her and hoping she would text. I hate myself for still missing her even though she did so much to hurt me
Basically met a girl (and I'm a girl), we've known each other for around 80 days, and we play games together. I confessed to her early on and she said she likes me back, but told me not to worry so much about it. I was freaking out cause there is a huge distance between us (France and Singapore) and I didn't want to lead her on if I decided not to pursue a relationship with her. She told me she likes me back and told me not to worry about it. But eventually, I did want a relationship with her, but she hasn't reached that point yet. We argued about it. We flirt, send each other voice messages to comfort each other, and call each other cute nicknames. It felt like she wanted to date me, but she doesn't.
It took a few arguments, really bad arguments, but she told me that she doesn't want to date me, and she has never planned to. She wants me to not torture my mind, and we both want to just fuck around. She told me its not a race against life or love and we should just enjoy the moment. She told me she doesn't love me and isn't in love with me, but I feel like she will eventually (maybe I'm delusional). She said the things that are stopping her are the arguments (i lowkey pressured her to date me and i feel so bad for it), distance, and all the talks abt me wanting to date her. She also thinks she would make a horrible girlfriend, and that she needs to love herself before loving anyone else
I'm also not ready for a relationship, I have serious anxious attachment and dependency issues from previous relationships, and I need to work on that first. Previously I'd freak out over small things and she'd try her best to reassure me, but ofc that shouldn't be her burden and I want to fix that part of myself. Also, when we argued, I went into survival mode and really couldn't focus on her feelings even though I really wanted to. I need to be better than that. I also don't even know what it is I want from life. I want companionship, that is why I want a relationship, but I've been told by her we can be friends and still have that. So I don't know.
I asked her if she still likes me, and she said she does. I told her that I might still continue hoping for a relationship with her, but we'll remain friends and if another girl comes we can still remain friends. She responded with saying that she loves me enough to let me go be happy with another girl if that happens.
She genuinely cares for me, and I'm not being insane. She has shown it by being there when I've felt so insecure, by actually trying to improve our dynamic so we don't argue so much. She sends me sweet messages when I'm down and I do the same for her. She makes me feel warm and fuzzy but honestly I also have been feeling so shit ever since the arguments started.
I feel like, there's a chance it could work. But I want a way to not worry so much about the future. I truly do want to just live in the moment and fuck around, and not slowly torture myself hoping for a relationship with her. How can I do that? My plan right now is to work on myself and then re-evaluate the situation a few months down, or a year, or whenever I'm ready. But I find myself feeling insane and frustrated. Maybe it's cause its been a day since she told me she doesn't want to date me. Is it wrong to feel that reasonably, it could work out? I want to not hope, but maybe still enjoy time with her while playing video games. What do you think?