u/Interesting_Local192

One night (around 9pm) I was delivering with my mom and we had an order for a customer we see frequently. The account is for an elderly couple and under the wife's name. The wife is an active texter while shopping and generally pleasant. This night in particular she was keeping up with affirming/declining replacements and everything, no issues. We get to her house and the front gate is open + porch light is on (as usual) -- but this time, the front door was ALLLLL the way open. Neither the wife or husband was present. I waited in the car while my mom brought the groceries to the door step, and as she is setting the bags down, I hear her screaming bloody murder "NO! NO! NO!" and stomping around. Apparently the couple's two (albeit small) dogs charged towards my mom barking and, upon hearing the screaming, the wife comes out. She says "oh! this one's just a puppy, he won't bite" and shows no sympathy in addition to chuckling. My mom has a genuine phobia of dogs based on past experiences and was seriously scared. She had also only brought about half the bags up, so by now she is shaken and still has to grab the rest. The dogs were not brought inside or disciplined or anything. So my mom brings the remaining bags to the gate (roughly 8 feet from the front door) and we left. As I am driving away, she closes out the batch and looks at her earnings for the day, only to see that the entire tip for this order has been taken away. It was something like $10, and it obviously updated to show it was changed to $0. Why do this??? Genuinely cruel behavior to expose someone to what they perceive to be a threat, and then decrease their compensation because YOU cannot empathize. Not everyone likes your dogs, not everyone wants to kiki it up with them, and pet them, or be licked/jumped on by them. And absolutely put them away if they are not well-trained enough to leave delivery people alone. (We are black and the delivery was to a white couple in an affluent area).

To start off: me (19F, 20\* in 2 months) and the guy (22M) I’ve been seeing met on a dating app. My mom has expressed her disdain with dating apps because her stance is that they expose/entangle you with people you might not organically meet in your day to day life. Essentially she thinks they are people you aren’t “meant” for, and that you should spare yourself from the crowd that is on there. I also currently live at home, and we have fallen on rather difficult times as my mom lost employment 4 months ago. In turn, I ended up picking up most of the slack for bills with my full time, entry-level job. I pretty much go to work and come home and do Instacart with my mom so she can have some of her own funds. Our bills eat up roughly 85-90% of my income because we’re still living the lifestyle set by the salary she used to earn. In this time frame we have lost my vehicle due to a fire, so me and my mom carpool to our jobs or \*occasionally\* she ubers home if our schedules clash (her job is closer).

Back to Us: Me and him met in person 6 weeks ago, and started talking 7 weeks ago. It was a rather nice first date, we met up for coffee early in the morning and spent the majority of the day together. However, to be able to leave home (I had a car at this point), I told my mom I was going to hang out with some of my friends. I did this to avoid the “who is this/where did you meet him” talk. Now we have met up several times, all of which I told my mom I was going to go see girlfriends of mine. Along the way, I lost my car so I shifted to saying I was getting picked up by said friends. He eventually invited me to sleep over and I wasn’t hesitant about it at all, so I agreed. Again, told my mom I was sleeping over at one of the same girls’ house. The first sleepover was 2 weeks ago and he picked me up (he has a loud car so maybe she heard). My mom wasn’t helicoptering at all. Came home, no issues or questions even. 1 weekend in between he left town so I stayed home with my mom. Well this past weekend, my mom approved a sleepover (with “friends”) for Friday night. Then I came home for part of the day Saturday, and while my mom was out doing Instacart, he picked me up and I told my mom I was leaving again, for a somewhat similar occasion. Then my mom basically blew up via voice note saying me leaving home all the time was BS. Well, I decided not to respond and continue to enjoy my time with him. I was planning on going home Sunday night but long story short he lives far from me, we were both tired, and I had packed enough clothes that I could put something together for work on Monday. He drove me to work and at my shift start, my mom texted me saying I was being disrespectful, rebellious, etc etc (all things I don’t care to hear, and my mom knows our relationship is strained + various reasons I don’t want to be home with her). So as I prepare to explain where I’ve been, before I see her after work, I am wondering whether I should open this can of worms now? Or leave it at “I stayed with my friends because I didn’t want to be home”? Obviously If I tell her about a guy and I’m spending the night, that begs the concern of things like what we do while I’m over or whatever in the eyes of my mother. I also worry that telling her might make her dislike him, but he has been really supportive and understanding of me, and definitely doesn’t deserve any criticism or judgment (he constantly asks if I’m sure about what I’m doing, how things are with my mom, etc). Plus he is a rather sweet person and is doing all the right things so far, with chivalry and gestures and such.

tl;dr I’m an adult living at home that’s been sneaking around w a guy. Then I sorta abruptly left home for a while to a “friend’s” place and I need help on how to proceed w my mom since I’m going back home today :/

To start off: me (19F, 20* in 2 months) and the guy (22M) I’ve been seeing met on a dating app. My mom has expressed her disdain with dating apps because her stance is that they expose/entangle you with people you might not organically meet in your day to day life. Essentially she thinks they are people you aren’t “meant” for, and that you should spare yourself from the crowd that is on there. I also currently live at home, and we have fallen on rather difficult times as my mom lost employment 4 months ago. In turn, I ended up picking up most of the slack for bills with my full time, entry-level job. I pretty much go to work and come home and do Instacart with my mom so she can have some of her own funds. Our bills eat up roughly 85-90% of my income because we’re still living the lifestyle set by the salary she used to earn. In this time frame we have lost my vehicle due to a fire, so me and my mom carpool to our jobs or *occasionally* she ubers home if our schedules clash (her job is closer).

Back to Us: Me and him met in person 6 weeks ago, and started talking 7 weeks ago. It was a rather nice first date, we met up for coffee early in the morning and spent the majority of the day together. However, to be able to leave home (I had a car at this point), I told my mom I was going to hang out with some of my friends. I did this to avoid the “who is this/where did you meet him” talk. Now we have met up several times, all of which I told my mom I was going to go see girlfriends of mine. Along the way, I lost my car so I shifted to saying I was getting picked up by said friends. He eventually invited me to sleep over and I wasn’t hesitant about it at all, so I agreed. Again, told my mom I was sleeping over at one of the same girls’ house. The first sleepover was 2 weeks ago and he picked me up (he has a loud car so maybe she heard). My mom wasn’t helicoptering at all. Came home, no issues or questions even. 1 weekend in between he left town so I stayed home with my mom. Well this past weekend, my mom approved a sleepover (with “friends”) for Friday night. Then I came home for part of the day Saturday, and while my mom was out doing Instacart, he picked me up and I told my mom I was leaving again, for a somewhat similar occasion. Then my mom basically blew up via voice note saying me leaving home all the time was BS. Well, I decided not to respond and continue to enjoy my time with him. I was planning on going home Sunday night but long story short he lives far from me, we were both tired, and I had packed enough clothes that I could put something together for work on Monday. He drove me to work and at my shift start, my mom texted me saying I was being disrespectful, rebellious, etc etc (all things I don’t care to hear, and my mom knows our relationship is strained + various reasons I don’t want to be home with her). So as I prepare to explain where I’ve been, before I see her after work, I am wondering whether I should open this can of worms now? Or leave it at “I stayed with my friends because I didn’t want to be home”? Obviously If I tell her about a guy and I’m spending the night, that begs the concern of things like what we do while I’m over or whatever in the eyes of my mother. I also worry that telling her might make her dislike him, but he has been really supportive and understanding of me, and definitely doesn’t deserve any criticism or judgment (he constantly asks if I’m sure about what I’m doing, how things are with my mom, etc). Plus he is a rather sweet person and is doing all the right things so far, with chivalry and gestures and such.

Guess I need help on how to proceed since I’m going back home today :/