u/InternationalSlip440

So my husband is a pilot and some flight attendant he works with I guess called my dad? She found the number on the internet. Idk if she was trying to contact me but she said that my husband sexually assaulted her.

Then 2 months later we got served with with restraining order papers. My husband says this chick is just crazy.

But ya he showed me the texts and she talked inappropriately to him but he asked if she was gonna report him. Idk and I guess she’s reported others before. But he did say he cheated but not all the way. And says she came onto him.
He ended up having to resign in leui of termination tho and was posted on are we dating the same guy multiple times but he’s saying it’s just her doing that.

However one of the posts said that they had never met him but he wouldn’t take no for an answer online?

We have a family together and idk what to believe. And he promises she came onto him and that he loves me

I’ve been really struggling. Over the past 5 years I’ve been out with different guys/ dated/ been in situations, and I always end up getting pressured, coerced, and my trauma response has been freeze or fawn. Is there something wrong with me? I’ve been sexually assaulted 4 times by 4 different men. Each time I have reported it. But way after the fact.

Am I the problem? I just got a sane kit done because i had the guys dna all over me. But I just feel like im going to go through the same reporting process and my case is just going to be dismissed. And then I start to doubt myself and say maybe I wanted it, just like the rapists parents say. Or because I fawned it was consensual.

I’m still trying to get justice from my case that was dismissed a year ago.
And trying to heal my trauma while going on a new date and then again this happens to me. Should I just give up and fuck the justice system.

Was this consensual

I met up with a guy for dinner and then we went out to eat later And throughout the date he kept saying sexual things to me and I should have picked up on it but he said he wanted to fall in love. But then went back to his house so he could show me his art and he kept calling me weird and making fun of me for being religious then i was sitting farther away from him and then he kept pulling me inwards and was like you’re being weird over here so he pulled me closer and then held my hand. I thought it was sweet but then he got like got on top of me and started kissing me and I kissed him back but I said at dinner i don’t kiss on the first date and then he kept trying to pull my shirt up and put his heads in my boobs. He didn’t ask and kept trying to take off my shirt he didn’t say anything and then tried fingering me and i was on my period and wearing a tampon and a pad and I felt so awkward but I was disassociating. I’ve been assaulted before so idk why I wanted to say something but no words came out and i felt awkward so then i tried touching him and he unzipped his pants and i just gave him a handjob and he finished on himself and was like “this was so weird” and “fells like I’m in middle school” and then he had made me take my top off but i was just laying there naked and then he was like leave and he didn’t walk me to my car and then he unadded me on the dating app. I reached out wondering why and I told him I was a virgin and he was like “ya we live different lives” and I told him I just wish he was honest because then I wouldn’t have gone out with him bc he said he was looking for love. I told him I felt pressured and then he blocked me.

Why didn’t I just leave? Why didn’t I stop him? Or fight? Did he get what he wanted from me?

My husband cheated on me but not all the way. He says the chick is crazy and just wanted him to leave me for her. She got a restraining order tho but he’s contesting it. She is accusing him of assault. But he showed me the texts and she was speaking inappropriately to him. And went over to his room / wanted to hang out. He’s been posted on a lot of Facebook groups but he’s saying it’s the same chick.

He got fired and I think she’s trying to press charges but it got dismissed.

Do you think he’s going to keep doing this? The FB group says he doesn’t take no for an answer. I’ve never had that experience. Do you think he will continue? Or just get better at hiding it? Or do you think she’s lying. He’s been on dating apps as well. Idk what to believe.

Also we are Mormon and is claiming to love me or whatever saying he won’t ever do it again and it was a mistake

& i love him / have kids

I’ve been assaulted a few times but the last time was so manipulative and sinister. It’s been about 2 years. Why is it taking me so long to heal from this. I feel as if I’m reliving the same incident over and over again. And hear the sinister things he said to me. Everyday. I’m in therapy but it just seems like it’s never going to get better. I look forward to dying because then I won’t have to think of it anymore.

If you found out your partner was cheating and on dating apps but says he didn’t go all the way. Just like fingered someone else. Would you stay? He keeps saying “i didn’t go all the way”

But ya he is posted in several of are we dating the same guy groups but he keeps saying it’s this one girl that’s crazy and upset cause he wouldn’t leave his wife for her.