AITAH For Not Allowing My Aunt to Come to My Wedding after She Tried to Steal My Childhood Home
I, 27yo F, just got engaged to my fiancée, 31 yo M, around Christmas. For context, my family is very small - my mom has one older sister, my Aunt D, and one younger brother, my Uncle P. I never knew my grandparents on my dad's side, so my only grandparents were my mom's parents.
When going through the guest list for the wedding, I specifically said to my mom I do not want to invite my Aunt D after she tried to steal my childhood home a few years back. Here's that story:
My Aunt D was always the child that needed the most coddling, according to my grandmother. My grandmother is notorious for making excuses for everything my Aunt D does all because she "doesn't want to hurt her feelings." "She's too fragile."
In the 90's, my grandparents and my parents built a home together, all 4 people on the deed. I grew up an only child and was raised by my grandparents while my parents were at work each day - which made us really close. In the 2010's my grandfather started showing signs of dementia. He was officially diagnosed before COVID hit and isolation during lockdown made him deteriorate fast. In 2022, he could barely remember who any of our family members were, what day/year it was, and what his age was. It got so bad that my grandmother had to get home nursing help for him, until 2024 when we finally admitted him into memory care.
In 2024, while we were trying to get him on medicaid (so his memory care costs would be paid for), my Uncle P took a look at my grandfather's will. We found out that in 2022, my Aunt D took my grandfather to a lawyer friend and cashed in a favor. She had the lawyer rewrite his will so that when he dies, my Aunt D would get his and my grandmother's portions of the deed to my family home and all of the equity along with it. She claims that my grandfather asked her to do this and that she was "just fulfilling his wishes in his old age." My grandfather was in not in any mental state to make decisions like this at this time as he could barely remember his age and name at that time. My grandmother, my parents, and my Uncle and I had no idea that this had occurred 2 years prior. My grandmother was very unhappy about this, but refused to do anything about it all to save Aunt D's feelings.
I was heartbroken. I had dreamed about raising my own children in his home. We had no choice but to sell the house while my grandfather was alive so my Aunt D could not profit off the house. She tried twice to stop the sale of the house, claiming she was on the deed. Both times were unsuccessful as when the brokers looked at the deed, it didn't have her name on it. She got mad at us and said we are "financially ruining her" by selling the house. We finally sold it in 2024 and gave my grandparents a portion of the sale so they could have a good nest egg to live off of. My grandmother ended up using the money to buy her own house after my grandfather died - her first home she's ever owned by herself! Now, my Aunt D is trying to get on my grandmother's will so she can claim her new house when she dies one day.
All of this leads me to today. I have gone no contact with my Aunt D and do not want to have her at the wedding. Our wedding is destination and I don't feel like being isolated with her for a week. She has never admitted to what she did and will not apologize. Mt grandmother is upset at me for not forgiving her and just moving forward after everything. She wants me to invite Aunt D and and use the isolated venue as a way to force us to communicate and work out our problems. I don't think my wedding should be the place to do this, nor do I have any want or need to make amends with her any time soon. AITAH?