u/Intrepid_Isopod_1524

We like to rent an Airbnb in the mountains and enjoy nature. kids have fun doing campfires, hiking trails and just doing adventures we don’t get to do at home. Been going every year for a while. Brother and sister in law have gone a few times in the past. Now they have a toddler.
They have now become the definition of helicopter parents. No one can walk around as the kid is eating because he gets “distracted”. Naptime and bedtime the whole house has to go quiet so as not to disturb the toddler. Kid walks in the back yard he can’t pick up a stick without a parent saying no and to be careful he doesn’t hurt themselves. Every event is planned around the toddlers experience and naptimes.

My kids are about 8- 10 years older and very independent. They weren’t raised in a bubble like the toddler is. Conditions didn’t need to be perfect for them to eat or take naps. They heard the word no and knew how to behave.
Back to the point of the story, we are thinking about going on vacation again and spouse want to invite them again. I can’t do it. The thought of spending another week in an Airbnb were the center of the universe is this kid and every decision made is based on a 1 year old sounds like torture. My kids are older and much more go with the flow.

AITA for not wanting to go with them? I wouldn’t mind renting an Airbnb on our own and be close but 1 week under the same roof makes me not want to even go. I’m on vacation also, if I want to walk to the bathroom when someone is eating I can. If I want to watch tv or play a game after 9pm I can. If I want to eat at XYZ restaurant I can. I’m not interested in going on vacation and being on toddler time when I don’t have a toddler.

Work full time (like mostly everyone else), after work I go home change and off to practice with kid 1 while kid 2 at other activity practice. I finally get home around 9pm then dinner showers and bed. Both play competitive level so practice is 3-5 times a week plus weekends games/ events. I’m exhausted but it seems like no matter how much I do and support it’s never enough.
Spend all weekend (10-15) hrs at competition 1.5 hrs away from the house and kid asked to drive another 20 minutes in opposite direction to get a toy. Pick up 2nd kid at practice and they are mad if I don’t drive another 15 minutes away for a smoothie. All my free time goes to kids and I feel like it’s never enough. They want more and more. Mom helps a lot and is always there but says yes to everything. When I’ve had enough and finally say no to one of them I’m the ahole and the grouchy parent.
I’m always the angry one and my kids tell my wife all the time that I’m angry. I’m tired and feel I give a lot but it’s never enough and I’m always the bad guy.dont know what my real question is here, I guess I’m just venting.
I don’t expect a pat on the back for being a dad but damn it feels I’m never good enough to make everyone happy and I’m grouchy because I’m so tired.
Any advice is appreciated