u/Intrepid_Strike_2454

I've been meditating for about 20 years. I've had the realization of my true nature, and there are times when my thinking completely stops for hours, and sometimes, with shorter or longer interruptions, even for days.

However, my thinking eventually starts up again, and the same old negative thought patterns return. Even though I'm now mostly the observer of these thoughts rather than identifying with them, they still affect my experience.

If I can't remain in continuous presence all the time, wouldn't it make sense to consciously cultivate gratitude and more positive ways of thinking? If the stream of thought is going to restart anyway, why not shape it into something that is more beneficial and enjoyable instead of letting the old patterns take over?

How do you approach this? What is the long-term solution from your perspective?

I've noticed that I generally feel good in my own skin after exercise and yoga. In those moments, I start to feel my inner energy flowing, which sometimes even leads to spontaneous Qigong-like movements. The energy blockages and negative thoughts seem to disappear.

However, I often wake up in the morning with absolutely no desire to move. When that happens, I feel stuck in a negative spiral, which is quite frustrating. Eventually, I get out of it through movement again, and afterward I enter a very calm, zen-like, meditative state. I start to perceive the energy of my breathing as well.

What I find frustrating is that I seem to have to reach this state through effort over and over again, almost every day. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Did they find a way to stay in a continuous state of flow?

I've managed to stay in that state for several days at a time on occasion, but sooner or later I always seem to fall out of it again.