u/Introvert934

Am I overthinking this interaction with my fiance?

I overthink relationship stuff a lot and wanted some outside perspective on whether this is actually a big deal or just my anxiety.

My fiance was at a religious event today. She texted me normally asking how I was etc. I replied and sent two kiss stickers and a “love you” sticker. I didn't knew that and later I realized she was at a religious/social setting and she only reacted to one lovey dovey message and ignored the 2 romantic stickers. Very immature of me I know so please please bear.

Logically I understand she was probably just busy or avoiding reacting romantically in that setting. But I still felt a weird sting and ended up deleting the stickers.

The reason it affected me more is because I already struggle with overthinking “what context is appropriate” for affection/sexuality. My fiancée herself tells me I overthink this too much and that I should stop suppressing myself around her.

So I wanted to ask:

Would most people see her reaction as completely normal for the situation, or would you also feel slightly awkward/put off after sending affectionate stuff and getting no response to it?

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u/Introvert934 — 6 days ago

Hi all really need your suggestions on this please. Feeling really conflicted. 26 M 27 F AM

26 M 27 F already engaged and about to get married in 6 7 months from now. Met through family setup and in courtship for 7 8 months. Are comfortable and open with each other in everything even sexual stuff too. She does in home stitching work. suits etc. At the initial phase only had I told her my preference is for a non working housewife. She was ok with that. Now yesterday as she was ready to go to her aunt's place today she told me she is going to do a computer course for designing of suits and all. This was bit of a emotional hit for me because first of all she didn't even told me about it let alone discuss. And when I asked genuinely what she needs to learn this for, her stance was so do you want me to just remain in the kitchen. this was another defensive aspect from her. When I confronted her later she was like please don't misunderstand me I'm just doing it to better my tailoring skills and I have no intention of doing job or any major work.

Now I am torn between two things and really conflicted.

If I deny her she will agree to it. And she kept saying I am happy with what I have and I just need you and all that emotional things. To some extent that is indeed true. But I will feel really guilty of not letting her be independent and do some work for herself.

on the other hand I have my own reservations. First is the insecurity about how working partners(job or self work) get so tired and busy that they don't get to have time for each other. And I have clearly told her for me physical intimacy and sex life is really important in the long run. I don't need a relationship where we just see each other at the end of the day to sleep off and then next day again same.

Feeling really conflicted. Please suggest.

reddit.com
u/Introvert934 — 13 days ago

Hi all really need your suggestions on this please. Feeling really conflicted. 26 M 27 F AM

26 M 27 F already engaged and about to get married in 6 7 months from now. Met through family setup and in courtship for 7 8 months. Are comfortable and open with each other in everything even sexual stuff too. She does in home stitching work. suits etc. At the initial phase only had I told her my preference is for a non working housewife. She was ok with that. Now yesterday as she was ready to go to her aunt's place today she told me she is going to do a computer course for designing of suits and all. This was bit of a emotional hit for me because first of all she didn't even told me about it let alone discuss. And when I asked genuinely what she needs to learn this for, her stance was so do you want me to just remain in the kitchen. this was another defensive aspect from her. When I confronted her later she was like please don't misunderstand me I'm just doing it to better my tailoring skills and I have no intention of doing job or any major work.

Now I am torn between two things and really conflicted.

If I deny her she will agree to it. And she kept saying I am happy with what I have and I just need you and all that emotional things. To some extent that is indeed true. But I will feel really guilty of not letting her be independent and do some work for herself.

on the other hand I have my own reservations. First is the insecurity about how working partners(job or self work) get so tired and busy that they don't get to have time for each other. And I have clearly told her for me physical intimacy and sex life is really important in the long run. I don't need a relationship where we just see each other at the end of the day to sleep off and then next day again same.

Feeling really conflicted. Please suggest.

reddit.com
u/Introvert934 — 13 days ago

So Me 26 M and My Fiance 27F are engaged and in courtship since 1 year. Marriage is due in 7 8 months. At this point we are fully open and comfortable with each other. We have discussed every thing. You name it. From financial goals to Daily Life to Even Sex life.

She is affectionate and loving and I by nature am very affection loving and giving too.

Like yesterday she shared a reel to me about how couples should kiss and share physical affection daily with their partners. I too felt good about it ofcourse. She even said we will always meet at end of day like we are meeting for first time. Really endearing.

But I wonder sometimes is there any such thing as too much affection and does it make the other partner feel repulsed. Is there any limit to how should a partner (in this case me) show physical closeness and gestures like daily kissing before and after work, hugging, cuddling through night, groping lovingly from behind.

Do you guys consciously decide to show a specific amount of intimacy and romance and for that matter sex life too ?

reddit.com
u/Introvert934 — 22 days ago

So Me 26 M and My Fiance 27F are engaged and in courtship since 1 year. Marriage is due in 7 8 months. At this point we are fully open and comfortable with each other. We have discussed every thing. You name it. From financial goals to Daily Life to Even Sex life.

She is affectionate and loving and I by nature am very affection loving and giving too.

Like yesterday she shared a reel to me about how couples should kiss and share physical affection daily with their partners. I too felt good about it ofcourse. She even said we will always meet at end of day like we are meeting for first time. Really endearing.

But I wonder sometimes is there any such thing as too much affection and does it make the other partner feel repulsed. Is there any limit to how should a partner (in this case me) show physical closeness and gestures like daily kissing before and after work, hugging, cuddling through night, groping lovingly from behind.

Do you guys consciously decide to show a specific amount of intimacy and romance and for that matter sex life too ?

reddit.com
u/Introvert934 — 22 days ago