u/InvestigatorKe

I was today years old when I discovered that am Gen X 😀

So guys what’s your opinions about my lovely generation. I think we have shaped the world to be better than we found it. I have pushed for development projects and addressed security issues in my residential area. I have been a role model to many younger folks and have connected many people with job opportunities and business opportunities (tenders without corruption or kickbacks). What have you done to make the world a better place?

Btw am born 1980 and I thought I was a Millennial all along

You could be married to your wife for over 20 years but you actually don’t know who she is. All you know about her is what she wants you to know.

If you really want to know who your wife really is and capable of just look beyond what you think you know and have an open mind. That is the day you will look at her and realize how you have little knowledge about her. Women keep lots of secrets since their childhood and it always spills over into their marriages and they guard those secrets with lies, half truths, deleting evidence etc.

It is advisable for a married man to take his time and discover who he married at least once during their marriage. Some of the things women hide include:-

- Her past relationships with married men a habit that actually continues even during her marriage years
- abortion she did during her youthful years. This haunts her all the days of her life
- Pornography and masturbation especially if she’s having extra marital affairs
- Money and gifts given by her lovers (Mpesa statement can be a good source of information to confirm)
- STDs or STIs she contracts from her sexual escapades. In most cases she’ll spin this and blame her husband for infecting her.
- Kids sired out of wedlock
- Her sexual kinks which she explores and learns from her lovers
- Spending money on a man that she has a crush on.
- When she is dumped by her lover, she’ll actually get heartbroken and her moods will change.
- Gifting her lovers with her husband’s items (watch a movie called ‘Unfaithful’)
- She will actually make you meet her lovers without your knowledge.
- Sexual relationships with her relatives this might actually include her dad, uncles, cousins etc although this one is rare
- Sexual abuse she endured when she was young

Basically married women controls the narrative about how her husband views her making it difficult to discover who she really is.

What’s your view or experience on this subject

Do we have faithful people in Kenya i.e. in your entire life, have you been faithful to your partner(s)?

View Poll

For a very long time since 2018 I have been suspecting that my wife was cheating but I didn’t have any evidence. In January this year I decided to dig deep into her life and I discovered my wife has been cheating on me for a long time with different men all married. I have never been okay since then. I have done therapy with professional psychologist and am healing slowly. I decided to forgive her since she confessed and agreed to change and become a better person. We have reconciled and working on our marriage and supporting our children. It’s the hardest decision I have ever made and I feel like I made the right decision. Many here especially GenZ will not understand but later in their lives they will definitely understand. Why did I forgive her? It’s because I would like to be forgiven if I am found cheating and willing to change.

My question to other married men here is, have you gone through similar issue in your marriage? What decision did you make and why? Or are you going through the suspicious phase?

I am still hurting and trying to heal

PART 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/s/IV5oOfjo6q

For a very long time since 2018 I have been suspecting that my wife was cheating but I didn’t have any evidence. In January this year I decided to dig deep into her life and I discovered my wife has been cheating on me for a long time with different men all married. I have never been okay since then. I have done therapy with professional psychologist and am healing slowly. I decided to forgive her since she confessed and agreed to change and become a better person. We have reconciled and working on our marriage and supporting our children. It’s the hardest decision I have ever made and I feel like I made the right decision. Many here especially GenZ will not understand but later in their lives they will definitely understand. Why did I forgive her? It’s because I would like to be forgiven if I am found cheating and willing to change.

My question to other married men here is, have you gone through similar issue in your marriage? What decision did you make and why? Or are you going through the suspicious phase? You can DM me if you want to respond privately.

If you are a married man and at some point you suspected that your wife is cheating on you I am here to tell you that you are 100% right, it’s happening under your nose. Men instincts are so accurate it hurts cause we think logically.

These are the obvious signs and behaviors that you will be seeing and experiencing:-

1. Everything is recorded on her phone. The men she’s sleeping with are saved abnormally. WhatsApp chats are deleted, call logs and sms are deleted. She’ll be chatting inside the toilet or hiding. Phone always locked with password and she’ll keep her phone close to her all the time and in silent mode. She’s likely to have a second line which you don’t know if you have access to her phone.
2. When she’s going to meet her lovers, she’ll shave her public and armpits and wear her favorite panties and use her best cologne. She will put a new hairstyle if she’s meeting him for the first time.
3. To avoid having sex with her husband she might just have sex with you that morning before she goes to shower this is to avoid having sex with you in the evening when she comes back from her escapades. She will never cum or get satisfied from her husband. Sex with her husband is just to ensure that he doesn’t suspect anything. This is where your suspicion as a man will come from.
4. She will likely meet her lovers immediately after her periods and might make you think she’s still on her periods to avoid having sex with you.
5. She will lie to you about her location and what she’s doing
6. If you contract an STI or STD just know that she’s doing it raw with her lovers and she’ll spin it on you. Most married women don’t use protection.
7. Her P/V will start smelling funny unusual because of mixing semen from multiple men
8. Checking her purse or her hidden things you might see condoms i.e. in a packet of three you’ll find one or those small soaps found in lodging just look for anything unusual, receipts etc.

If any of these signs or you are suspicious as a married man about your wife then it’s time for you to investigate and know the truth. You can hire a private investigator or get in to her phone when she least expect and see for yourself. These things are happening and most married men are in denial.

You can share with me if you need someone to talk to.