u/InvisibleEar

I know some other parasocials live in Virginia, what if we worked together to open a TAZ themed weed store next year? I came up with the name Smoke It Up With Taako, which I think is most of the work.

Today I had a batch order and KFC said it would be 25 minutes, of course. In the unassign menu there is a text support button which gives you the option to unassign without penalty because "I am unable to place order" so I just did that. I'm worried that's a loophole I might be punished for using too, would it be better to drive to the next address and use the time out option?

This is the problem with billionaires

I don't need anybody else / when I think about you I troll myself

Shmanners where Travis gets really defensive about the exact definition of alcoholism

I heard Travis is on vacation in Monaco for 2 weeks because he "has too much money from Champions Grove"

I have been transformed into a data center as a blessing from Pan so I can be loud and posting forever

I wish Travis was on Taskmaster instead of Matt Lucas, and I'm so frustrated that's not a joke at all. Well, maybe if he was uncredited, I wouldn't want more people to listen to TAZ

Marco Rubio threatens sanctions on Trav Nation's cringe exports

The McElroy Family announces 25% layoffs. "We wish Travis the best in his future endeavors," Griffin was heard mumbling on stream

You're going to be ascreentime 😭

Resist capitalism. Complain about free podcasts 12 hours every day

I want Travis to lose 100k on Kalshi. That's not parasocial, but unfortunately it is ableist

I tried the Lays World Cup garlic chips and it kind of just tastes like drinking garlic sauce. I fell for it again

Harry Styles called Travis a homophobic troll raised by 4chan on Twitter, can someone do a wellness check 🥺

I'm not even good at gaming

A DNC insider told me when Griffin donated to the Harris campaign, he demanded they buy an ad on the Sphere

Oops I drank too much caffeine and I'm going to die. hey, it's me, ibfinity

I want Travis to lose 100k commissioning an an animated pilot of his new concept Grimlands, about the supernatural forces of Structure and Disorganization in South Dakota. That is parasocial, but fortunately it's not ableist

The three brothers are clearly atheists now and are relatively close in age. isn't it suspicious only Travis wants to complain about religious trauma? I guess it's possible only he was so annoying they tried an exorcism

Travis starts a new podcast here he and Teresa talk about this week's viral BlueSky posts (3 week delay for editing)

The other day I helped someone in the deli throw away like 50 pounds of cooked meat. The machine has no purpose

Shmanners where Travis gets even more defensive about Dungeon Crawler Carl. It's not like Ready Player One

Baby you can troll my stream
Yes I'm gonna be a meme
Baby you can troll my stream
And maybe I'll donate

I want Travis to get divorced because they've grown apart since they got married and they would be happier apart, since Travis died and was replaced by a lookalike in 2017. Surprisingly, that's not parasocial or ableist

I cannot emphasize enough that 1.5x sounds like the actual speed the podcast was recorded at, and the format for these episodes is Teresa says an idiom, Travis explains it off the dome, Teresa reads what Alex wrote, and Travis reacts to that actual information. Strictly speaking, the research does count as information. So this feels much longer than 36 minutes. Please clap that I did this without the transcript because it's too bizarre to wait.

Travis complains it's too hot because he's a Fall Baby. I live in Virginia and it has been hot in the midatlantic, but he's a regular baby "joking" about being unable to tolerate temperatures above 72F. This then becomes a heated argument because Travis mentions magic and Teresa asks "Is that what the Fall is about, magic?"

>Travis: You think it is a very serious, right down the middle mundane time? Because that's Summer.

>Teresa: I don't know if magic has a season.

>Travis: What are you talking about? I very rarely am awash with the feeling of being so right, and you being so wrong, that I actually don't know how to handle this. Because everyone on the internet right now is screaming, screaming.

How is this man so stupid. Besides that I am literally the only person on the internet thinking about this, what are you talking about? But he gets more wrong.

>Travis: If I said what's the most magical season, would it not be Fall?

>Teresa: No it'd be Winter, because of Christmas.

>Travis: Oh my God. Oh my God. Is this the end of the podcast?

https://preview.redd.it/6pi7wo3hqq7h1.jpg?width=601&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c2623f0f8af1d39e089f63cb67f8e2d37d19190e

>Teresa: Objectively speaking, the biggest magic happens at Christmas.

>Travis: Incorrect, it's Fall! Okay listen, it's not important, we'll talk about this in therapy for years to come. Our children will be like "Yeah our parent's marriage was always really solid...There was this one thing thing though." [SIGHS] It's fine.

>Teresa: [sweetly] You know what? You're right. You're right.

>Travis: That didn't feel true. But I'll take it. I'll pretend like it felt true. Thank you baby, that means a lot to me. That means a lot to me.

Ugh. UGH. She's laughing during this, but even if he 100% meant it as a joke the vibes are so bad. And it sounds to me like he is genuinely frustrated and upset about this insane opinion, plays it up a tiny bit for the bit, and then he remembers he's 42 and needs to self-regulate. I really can't imagine many people agreeing with Travis here. Even if we tip our fedoras and disregard Christmas, the most "magical" thing is snow? Is he truly the most frustrating man in the world?

The first idiom, submitted by Justin M, but Teresa says it's probably not Justin McElroy (Travis: "He doesn't use computers"), is cash cow. There is nothing interesting about the explanation, unless maybe you have severe head trauma and forgot everything about dairy cows. I'm not sure it even counts as an idiom? It doesn't matter. Travis also tells the story of the goose who laid the golden eggs for some reason, so now they can't talk about that in a future episode.

The second idiom, submitted by Debbie T, is crazy as a loon. One possible origin is middle english loun, which meant lout or idler, and then it shifted over time with the spelling. Or, less likely, it's from the wacky sound of the bird. The further details about words and birds are not really worth describing (this is not a Master's dissertation on Graduation), but Travis sounds entranced by the bird sounds like a child. He also does say "You can just say no" when she disagrees with one of his random guesses, perhaps ashamed of crashing out over the magic of Christmas 5 minutes ago. Reading that it looks passive aggressive but it sounds sincere, although I don't know what's in his vart heart. Possibly it's not even worth mentioning but reddit posts typically cannot be edited.

The third idiom, submitted by Linda R, is crocodile tears. Crocodiles need to keep their eyes moist like everyone else, and the tear ducts often activate while their jaws move, so it looks like they're crying while eating. Travis asks if we know they don't feel guilt about having to kill things.

>Travis: Have we done a CAT scan on these crocodiles while they're eating to see if they're feeling emotions? This is the science we need. Stop wasting money on AI research, that's garbage, put money into finding out if crocodiles regret having to eat things.

I think this is kind of funny and the background information is mildly interesting (between explaining multiple times the meaning of a phrase everybody knows the meaning of and Travis interrupting), so I'm considering this question okay podcasting.

https://i.redd.it/ci2wh20kqq7h1.gif

JUMBOTRON ALERT

>Travis: Happy Birthday Brent, in Reston Virginia. Since gifts are getting harder to figure out, I got you something money can't usually buy. A chance to have some of your favorite podcasters to give you a shout out for your birthday. Love, your awesome wife Michelle.

He stumbles on this read a bit, but that's fine because this is obviously a "Grandma got you a Super Gamestation 64 for Christmas" situation. Travis riffs a bit on "love your awesome wife Michelle" as a command, which is almost funny. Wait, Virginia is for Frustraters, is this anything

PAID AD ALERT

Storyworth, a service that sends you weekly questions to ask your relatives for a year and then prints it as a hardcover book. Travis says it's good because Clint "has lived an absolutely ridiculous life". The virgin Big Dog vs the chad Ice Man. If Travis keeps getting paid twice maybe he can move to San Diego and not complain about the heat.

UNRELATED ANECDOTE

I saw two guys at Walmart wearing the two shirts I've circled in the image below. I thought about different frustrating posts asking which one Travis would wear, but when I looked it up, it turns Spencer's also made a shirt specifically for Travis. And us too, I guess.

https://preview.redd.it/iwaa3a5lqq7h1.jpg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=add31601b8d2106a21a3f4f48c8b00c848f36e11

The fourth idiom, submitted by Bill B, is one trick pony. Travis gives a nonsense example about someone in sales being good at getting people to stay on the line when they don't want the product, but they can't do cold calls or follow leads. Haven't you had a job so you can give an example that makes sense? Send this whole family to jobs reviewing TPS reports. Justin would really be so good at being the funny manager who always denies your PTO and raises. Anyway, it's obviously about travelling circuses, but Teresa says in the 18th century. That's obviously far too early, so I checked, and Oxford says the first written use was 1905. She later says the slang use was popularized in the 1950s, but Webster says 1980. Keep up the great work. Travis then tells the story of Clever Hans, and he loves him and based a D&D character on him on a livestream. Not a very interesting anecdote, but at least it's an accurate example because he lived 1894-1916. RIP Clever Hans, he surely had a horrible time in WWI before dying like millions of other horses. Maybe horses aren't so funny after all.

The fifth idiom, submitted by Randy Q, is you can't kill a fly with an elephant gun. They wonder if that's a real idiom, but it is, so that was a waste of time. Teresa says there is also a proverb in Kenya and Ghana that says "it's only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without violence." This is an internet meme that's typically jokingly attributed to Confucius. Keep up the great work!! After more tedious discussion, Travis gives this illustrative example of a harmful disproportionate response.

>Travis: Oh you have an issue with this person at work, right. Rather than start, like, a whisper campaign against them where you're like bad mouthing them to everybody, and then almost certainly people will find out. You will get in trouble, it will reflect back on--Just go to HR and get it figured out.

??????????????

The sixth idiom, submitted by Alison R, is the world is your oyster. Teresa notes and Travis strongly agrees that he loves to say the world is your ostrich because it subverts your expectations. The origin is The Merry Wives of Windsor, when Pistol says "Why then the world’s mine oyster, Which I with sword will open." Travis sounds very proud of knowing that the original phrase implies hard work while the way it's used today implies you can just reach out and take it, which is very different. At least that is correct, unlike going on about blood is thicker than water in Dust. I'm still annoyed about all of this, make Travis carry heavy stuff as crew for minimum wage during the CSC performances of Merry Wives of Windsor this November.

The seventh idiom, submitted by Damien H, is puppy love. It first appeared in print in the 1820s, and for some reason Travis was certain it is from the 1940s, but that is incorrect because he doesn't know anything. There's not much more to say about their discussion because you speak English. God, I wonder if anyone uses these episodes to understand English better. That's the only possible value I can imagine someone getting out of 90% of the runtime, but that would basically be that Trevor Noah bit about accidentally speaking German like Hitler. If you want a fact check, Oxford says 1810 and Webster says 1823, how bicurious they don't agree.

The eighth idiom, submitted by Zach R, who is ALEX'S HUSBAND, is like a fox. Travis discusses the use of crazy like a fox as a joke, and says it's fun to also say after other words.

>Travis: If somebody's like, "you're late", yeah, late like a fox, right! Or like, "this house is so messy", messy like a fox! It's not--actually, it's funny for you to say it--

>Teresa: That's trolling people, is what that is.

>Travis: No--Hey, it should be done in a way that is consensual and makes the other person laugh. Don't do it if the other person is not laughing.

https://preview.redd.it/gt3f6wg30r7h1.jpg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0c7eaf411fd0ecbd2d2c39baf26248f38fd69a20

I was just out from 6-10pm, made $61 and drove 45 miles because there's no orders. I can't blame Doordash for people not ordering because the President caused 5% inflation for literally no reason, but every third order is ""late""" so I also lost Silver. I don't strictly speaking need the money so honestly I might just give up. I should have been born with a trust fund.

Not sure the AI generated posters in the break room are gonna cheer me up for AES