Loss of self knowledge
I feel like I’m going crazy and can’t explain why to anyone. I’ve had a total loss of, self knowledge/confidence isn’t the right word, almost like grounding in reality since my diagnosis. I feel like I was so blindsided by it, thinking i was fine/normal for so long that I lost all trust in myself and my judgement. I need constant reassurance on my work or what clothes to buy or what to eat because subconsciously I feel so scared trusting my opinion. I just feel like i’ve turned into this nervous needy wreck. I’ve looked into building self confidence and assurance, but everything i’ve read talks about learning to trust yourself through consistency and routine so you can prove to yourself you’re reliable. I don’t know how to do that when life is so inconsistent? I can’t build a morning routine or an eating routine when doctors appointments and flares effect everything. And even if i do push myself to do that, how do I manage to give myself grace? I don’t think this makes sense but I just am a mess in all of my friendships and relationships because I can’t evaluate anything. Has anyone dealt with this? How do you build confidence and trust with a body that’s so unpredictable?