u/Iwannakms_rn

This is both a "my story" and a vent

Anyway

I'm almost 16, my grooming started when i was 13.

I met a man on connected2me 6 days after my 13th bday, we talked for a while, i was so derealized i barely remember how sexts and pics started. We kept talking until I thought i had a crush on him since of all the love bombing and bc how wanted I felt

Some time after i told him about my feelings (as a mistake, bc i sent the msg while he slept and then deleted it which, apparently, didn't work.) so we stopped sexting which acc made me think he actually cared about me. One time i doubled texted or did something else i can't remember, he got mad at me and we stopped talking. I started looking for that comfort with other men still on the app, kept getting groomed and also talked to him for a month again before he left etc etc.

Now this doesn't happen anymore, I got into a happy relationship, the one that started all of this tried to text me again to use me but i wasn't playing his game anymore

All good right? No

Me and my boyfriend are having some kind of problems which i wont specify which are making me feel abandoned and i started having nightmares about getting groomed and m0lested irl, I'm also hypersexual (didn't start by me being groomed but that made the HS worse) so I have intrusive thoughts, and those are getting worse too. I cant do this anymore, many things are going on in my life right now and I feel like shit. I also dont have any friends to talk about it with so i tried here

I keep dreaming about being groomed again or about men touching me and i don't know what to do, it's miserable and i hate it so bad Edit:thanks for the support of not even leaving one comment yall

I've seen other ppl on this subreddit and groomed ppl in general feel like shit about becoming older because of being abused/manipulated early on. I've never had this to be honest, even if I'm doing better now being groomed still affects me but this never did.

Instead, I have a FEAR of becoming loose, the thought of it terrifies me (which probably has to do with the grooming since i remember all the online ppl i talked to loved virgins and wtv)

Can anyone relate?

Also wasn't sure if i had to put nsfw for talking about virgins and the concept of being loose🙏