From career ambitions to…this
I’m (35f) at home with my second burn out and I’m trying to accept that I probably can’t be part of the workforce anymore. I’ve had more jobs than I care to remember and I wish I knew how people keep themselves alive, keep their houses clean, keep themselves clean, see friends from time to time AND have a job but I don’t. I can’t do it.
Some days simply existing takes it out of me already. How do I then maintain enough mental space to think about Roi’s and KPI’s? Or mask as someone who isn’t drained from the social interactions required in the workplace, knows how to sit still and is mentally present during meetings.
Since my burn out I’ve been enjoying keeping the house in order because I’m finally actually doing it. It gives me a lot of fulfillment. This realization is as freeing as is it sad because I really wanted to function in the way I see people do outside the house everyday. But everytime I try to have a job it goes well for a while, which is exciting because I want upward mobility as much as the next person. But my brain just says: nope. This is not for you. I wish it was.
The truth is that I’ve never been more relaxed than I am now. I do my daily workouts, I see friends for lunch. My partner and I are considering starting a family and I feel like that’s only possible for me if I stay home. And I’m trying to get over the feeling that I’ve failed at being something simple as a person with a job. I’m trying to accept this instead of force myself to be something that obviously doesn’t work out for me just to get a burn out again.
Does anyone relate? Thanks for reading