u/Jaded-Prompt-1545

I allowed my ex to leave Ireland with our two children in good faith. We had an agreement. I trusted that agreement and trusted that my relationship with my sons would be protected.
Instead, my access became restricted. Conditions were placed on my parenting time. A year passed while my children became established in another country.
Then legal proceedings were brought against me in that country.
Now I am told that the very passage of time that occurred after I acted in good faith has weakened my position. I must submit to a foreign jurisdiction and face child support demands of approximately €1,334 per month, before additional expenses, while also funding the enormous cost of travelling internationally to see my own children.
Where is the morality in that?
The system reduces a father to a calculation. It does not properly ask how the children came to live abroad, what promises were made, what access was withheld, what it costs to remain an active parent across an ocean, or whether the final financial burden is actually sustainable.
Good faith should not be punished. Delay should not reward the parent who controls access. A parent should not be financially broken for trying to remain in their children’s lives.
A legal system can follow its own rules and still produce an immoral result.
That is what family courts refuse to confront.

I allowed my ex to leave Ireland with our two children in good faith. But also trying to keep it amicable in a bad situation for me. Injured, under the influence of pain medication and up against an endless financial support. We had an agreement. I trusted that agreement and trusted that my relationship with my sons would be protected.
Instead, my access became restricted. Conditions were placed on my parenting time. A year passed while my children became established in another country.
Then legal proceedings were brought against me in that country.
Now I am told that the very passage of time that occurred after I acted in good faith has weakened my position. I must submit to a foreign jurisdiction and face child support demands of approximately €1,600 per month, before additional expenses, while also funding the enormous cost of travelling internationally to see my own children.
Where is the morality in that?
The system reduces a father to a calculation. It does not properly ask how the children came to live abroad, what promises were made, what access was withheld, what it costs to remain an active parent across an ocean, or whether the final financial burden is actually sustainable.
Good faith should not be punished. Delay should not reward the parent who controls access. A parent should not be financially broken for trying to remain in their children’s lives.
A legal system can follow its own rules and still produce an immoral result.
That is what family courts refuse to confront.

Anybody here ever receive a child support claim from a foreign jurisdiction where your children are located?

Have an agreement in the courts here which allowed relocation of the children and mother to foreign jurisdiction including child support arrangement which I’ve paid fully to date . (Long story this one)

Were you able to ignore the claim?

Anybody here ever receive a child support claim from a foreign jurisdiction where your children are located?

Have an agreement in the irish courts here which allowed relocation of the children and mother to foreign jurisdiction including child support arrangement which I’ve paid fully to date . (Long story this one)

Were you able to ignore the claim?

I could really use some perspective from other dads who have been through international separation from their children.
I’m an Irish father of two boys. About 2 yrs ago their mother relocated with them to America . We have a parenting agreement that includes summer parenting time in Ireland, and I’ve spent months trying to arrange for my boys to come back this summer.
The situation has become increasingly complicated with lawyers, travel consent issues, escalating flight costs and ongoing disputes between the adults. As things stand tonight, I genuinely don’t know if the trip is going to happen.
What is hitting me hardest is not the money or the legal side. It’s the thought of disappointing my sons. I’ve been looking forward to having them home in Ireland for months. I’ve imagined showing them their rooms, spending time with family, taking them on adventures and just getting to be their dad in person again.
I’m exhausted. I’ve spent a lot of money on legal advice, I’m trying to keep my life together, and tonight I just feel incredibly alone.
For those of you who have had children living overseas or have had parenting time blocked or disrupted, how did you protect your relationship with your children? How did you cope with the feeling that circumstances outside your control were affecting your time with them?
I don’t want to give up. I just need some perspective from people who have walked this road before.
Thanks for reading.