u/Jazzlike_Board1359

Pushing from S3 to G1. Hit me up if youre interested in ranking up.

I recently went through a breakup after a 4-year relationship, and I feel completely lost.

We had an argument where she compared me to other guys. I don’t want to get into the full context of the comparison, but it really hurt me. After being together for four years, I felt like she should know me better than that. I called her out because I felt disrespected.

Instead of talking through it, she shut down and ghosted me. That hurt even more, so I called that out too. She said she needed space, but from my perspective, it felt unfair because I was the one who had been hurt. I understand people need space sometimes, but I wish we could have talked properly first.

Our relationship was mostly online. We barely went on dates because of her college and studies, and we didn’t even video call much. Most of our relationship was based on texting, so misunderstandings were pretty common. I feel like I compromised a lot with my needs, and over time, I started feeling like she didn’t really meet me halfway.

It has been about a week since the breakup. At first, I wanted to move on. But then I started reading online about “no contact” and how it can sometimes bring an ex back, and now I’m stuck in a dilemma.

Should I focus on moving on, or should I hold on to hope that she might come back?

The confusing part is that I feel like I can’t do both. If I truly move on, I probably won’t want her back anymore. But if I keep hoping she comes back, I don’t think I’ll be able to heal.

She broke up with me. We had one final video call for about 20 minutes, and I cried in front of her. I probably showed desperation and made it clear that I wanted her back. But she seemed clear that she didn’t want to be with me anymore.

Still, I can’t stop thinking: What if she said it emotionally? What if she still wants me but is hiding it? What if there are other reasons behind the breakup? How can someone move on that quickly after four years?

At the same time, I’ve always felt like she was a cold person emotionally. She often didn’t meet my needs, and I was usually the one compromising. Part of me thinks maybe she didn’t really need me the way I needed her.

Even after feeling like she treated me badly, I still can’t get over her. I even had a dream about her last night. I don’t know if this is attachment, heartbreak, denial, or something else.

Has anyone else been in this situation? How do you decide whether to move on or keep hope? Is no contact supposed to be for getting them back, or for healing yourself?

I’d really appreciate some advice.

(Refined this using AI since English is not good)