u/Jeffrey_Friedl

The actual fuckup was in 2019, but the realization of it was yesterday.

I've been dancing for almost eight years. The first five years or so were a total waste of time, I eventually realized, because the teachers I had in my small dance scene were simply no good at teaching.

One teacher from my first year stuck out in memory. I attended one class and felt that he was more interested in having his beautiful self being watched than actually teaching. I never went back. During the COVID pause he moved elsewhere.

Fast forward years to last weekend, he was in town for a special one-time lesson. I'm much better now, so maybe I could get something out of his lesson despite his prancing, so I went.

It was fantastic. He was a great teacher. His dance was amazing. None of that "look at me" vibe I had remembered so strongly from before. Great lesson.

So yesterday I dug up the after-lesson recap video from that 2019 lesson, which I hadn't looked at since that day, and realized that what I had dismissed as vanity was actually just incredible skill... so far above anything I'd seen in my scene that at the time I didn't even recognize it for what it was: the highest level of this dance.

Had I recognized what I was looking at back then, my journey would have taken such a different, less painful path. To drive that point home, I notice in that old video that one of the other students is now one of the better teachers whose class I regularly attend. Doh!

[FWIW, the dance is sensual bachata]

TL/DR: years ago I was dismissive of a dance teacher as vain, only to realize now that I it was actually skill beyond my comprehention. I wasted so many years with shitty teachers when I could have been truly progressing with him.

When my son was maybe four or five years old, he was particularly fussy in the bath one day, saying that the shampoo hurt his eyes. Baby shampoo is completely neutral for the eyes, so I knew he was just being fussy, but he insisted. Finally out of frustration, I said "Look" and proceeded to pour some directly into my eyes.

OH FUCKING HELL, IT BUUUUURNED. What I imagine a cocktail of lemon juice, napalm, and pepper spray might feel like. I don't know whether we got a bad bottle or it was just a shitty brand, but damn, it hurt.

(In my response to the situation, after flushing my eyes, I concentrated on his emotions: how it must have felt for him to have it hurt so much after daddy said it wouldn't hurt, and how it must have felt when daddy didn't believe him when he said it hurt.)

TL;DR: young son complained that shampoo hurt his eyes. To show that the shampoo didn't hurt, I poured some into my own eyes and found that that contrary to the "no tears" label, it burned like hell.

EDIT TO ADD (after ~300 comments)
* For those that actually think "no tears" does not refer to eye irritation, but instead to ripping/tearing of hair, bwaahahahahwhahahwhwhahwhaaaaa.

* For those that say "it's soap; all soap stings your eyes". No, not all soap stings the eyes. I have plenty of different soaps at home right now that do not hurt the eyes at all, and one that hurts like hell.

* For those that admonish me for not believing my son, that's fair. In my defense, I had tested the soap in my own eyes when he was an infant (back in that stage where the new parent thinks his child will break easily). It was soothing. The bottle in today's post, years later, was likely a different brand, or perhaps a bottle that had somehow gotten contaminated.

How do real-estate sales actually close? My understanding is along the lines of: buyer and seller gather in a room, along with a legal scrivener. Seller hands deed to scrivener who confirms it's legit. Seller then sends funds to buyer. When buyer confirms receipt of funds, we all part ways and scrivener registers changes with the government.

Is this the basic idea?

I'm selling a property in Kyoto that has a lean on it. Buyer, lean-holding bank, and scrivener are in Tokyo, so they want to close in Tokyo and just have me send the deed to the scrivener ahead of time (in lieu of me going to Tokyo to hand it over when we all gather). Seems a bit iffy to me, but I have no experience. Seems to me that since the property is in Kyoto, they should all come to Kyoto for the close.

Thoughts or advice?