u/Jessicash

What is the best way to handle a retainer? I work in sales design, branding, and marketing mainly in the health tech space.

I was laid off in February and since then I’ve established a contract with an old boss of mine doing 20 hours of design work a month at $100/hr. I recently started another contract with a different old co worker. Originally we were working at the same agency together, and one client asked to hire me for 20 hours a month at $100/hr. They ended up saying that it would be “no cap” to hours. However, every project with this colleague is a fire drill. It’s always next day turnaround, or a week turnaround gets cut down to 5 days etc.

This colleague is working full time for this client now as head of marketing. It seems to be due to lack of time management and planning on her part, because even two years ago at the company we first worked for together in house, all of her requests were rushed. And all of her requests at the agency were rushed.

She asked me to format an 80 page RFP today in 5 or 6 hours, which I did. I realize some of this is my fault for not establishing revisions etc, but typically work with my other retainer is not rushed and there are no issues at all. This is the first project for this new retainer with her and of course it was a rush, but I would like to actually write the contract and send it to her.

After I sent the word document to her, she shared it with her team and everyone began editing it. She called me at 6pm asking to hop on a call right then and there, so help her fix it and that all of my styles had gotten messed up.

I don’t mind working odd hours, however a previous project with the agency was a 45 slide investor deck with heavy graphics and I had about 10 days to complete it. She called me 3 days in to say they needed it in 2 days. I had already signed the agreement with the company and her and the agency ceo said that they really wanted this client so it was for the “greater good.” So they basically signed me up to work for 2 days straight, almost overnight both days to finish it. The client was paying me directly, however I did bill the agency for over time hours.

I have other clients and I cannot drop everything to pull all nighters for her on a moments notice. It’s unrealistic for her to think that I will be able to drop everything in my life for days without warning.

Right now I’m pausing everything with her after I invoice for this project and I’m going to write up a formal contract before I do anymore work but I don’t know how to handle this situation.

My(32f) fiancé’s(28m) cousin(30f) is getting married in June in Italy. My fiance and I are getting married in late October. We have been stressed ever since cousin announced her wedding would be in Italy, as the trip has cost us thousands in airline tickets, train tickets, and hotels.

The cousin and I promised each other before we even got engaged that we would be bridesmaids for each other. Cousin has chosen a $450 bridesmaid dress that cost me $120 for tailoring. Her maid of honor has planned a weekend bachelorette trip in the city we are all located in. The first day is out to dinner and to go clubbing, day two is a boat ride that costs $300 followed by movie night which she requires us to purchase $60 pajamas so we can all match.

I really can’t afford to spend any more on her wedding. I unfortunately lost my job 3 months ago, and my fiance and I went back and forth on if we would even continue with our own wedding. We ultimately decided to go forward with our wedding but just have to cut some things to save money.

I really didn’t think her bachelorette party would be this expensive considering we are going on an international trip for her destination wedding in a very expensive part of Italy. I seriously can’t afford it between my own wedding, her wedding, other expenses that come with traveling internationally etc. she also has another boat day scheduled in Italy when we get there that is costing $200, so that is $500 just in boat rides.

I’m really nervous to tell her I really can only afford to go out the first night her bachelorette, but I also don’t want to drain my savings for her wedding. Idk if I should just suck it up and spend the money or tell her it’s just too much for me.

In total I’ve spent nearly 5k on her wedding.

TL;DR:

Future cousin in law wedding and events are costing me too much and I don’t know what to do.