u/JillDRipper

It's been a very hard 10 days or so. My sister got out of a 90 day inpatient program, and went back to drinking in less than a month. There were two hospital visits where she was brought in unconscious. There were a lot of horrible texts to me. There was a lot of self destructive behavior.

But I got a call last night from the hospital near the treatment center. She is medically detoxing and then being transported back to the treatment center she was at previously. They were able to control her seizures during the detox, and feel she will be healthy enough to transfer later today.

I gave her permission to call. It's the first time we have spoken in a very long time due to past threats and abusive behavior towards me.

She is ashamed. She feels like a failure. And she is really embarrassed to be going back to the same treatment facility. She also sounded more determined to get healthy this time.

For the first time in a while I am hopeful.

My sister's behavior has been escalating over the past week. She got out of 90 day inpatient treatment a little over a month ago.

Over the past week or so she has basically been on a nearly continuous bender. She has been threatening suicide and finally ended up in the hospital for acute intoxication. Because of past threats of violence, she was limited to only communicating with me by text messages. Because of her recent behavior, she is also now blocked.

I had to check my emotions and realize that the only person that may be able to save her from suicide or harming someone else is her probation officer. I called and left him a message outlining the last week. He has not called back.

My motives are not to cause her further pain. And I am willing to accept she may never forgive me if she gets violated. But at least she would be safe.

💔

Got a call from the hospital asking me to pick up my sister. She is amazing at manipulating people. She had the doctor convinced she was upset about a break up. I had to let the doctor know the truth and that we are currently no contact, so no I will not be picking her up.

I still have a lot of work to do on myself, because I still have feelings of guilt about this decision. Logically, I know I did the right thing. Emotionally, my inner voice is telling me I am a bad person.

My Q is my sister, which is why I have put up with way more than I should have. It's been a bumpy 20 year journey with her addiction.

She completed a 90 day in patient treatment program, and didn't even make it 30 days before she relapsed. This is the second time treatment has not worked for her.

This last week has been a series of drunken manipulative and abusive texts. I had limited her to only contacting me by text because of serious violent threats she has made in the past.

I just texted her and told her this is the end of the road for me. I care about her, but I can't watch her spiral anymore. It's just too painful. I told her she can text my husband in case of an emergency. And I encouraged her to return to treatment and told her I really do hope she gets healthy some day.

I feel defeated right now. I feel like I am giving up on her. But I just can't anymore. I need to get my mental health back on track, and the manipulation and abuse is making that impossible.

My Q is my sister. She completed a 90 in patient treatment 30 days ago and had already relapsed.

Because of past physical threats, she is only allowed to communicate with me via text. The past two days have been a barrage of manipulative texts. Tonight she is threatening to commit suicide.

Seriously, when does this end? I have chronic major depressive disorder. I am so triggered right now.

I don't know where she is to send the police for a welfare check.

I am very angry, very confused and am struggling to keep myself together. I just want to lock myself in a dark silent room tonight.

My sister is my Q. She completed a 90 day in patient treatment program 30 days ago.

I got a text from her this morning. She had a fight with her boyfriend and got drunk last night.

She wants me to be something, I don't even know what. But I am so beat down from so many years of this. She says "I really need my sister right now."

I told her the only advice I have was to contact her sponsor. It feels like I am just shifting responsibility, but I am tapped out and just have nothing left to give.

Friday we received an email from the attorney she was hired to support. He is on vacation in Ireland.

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He had assigned her to efile a motion in limine brief before he left on vacation in the matter coming up for a three week trial next month. She efilled the draft version, the version that did not include any of the substantial attorney revisions from the lead attorney. Opposing counsel already responded to that brief, so nothing can be done to "fix" this.

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I actually feel bad for her right now. This was an error that happened because she is rushing and not double checking her work. But the lead attorney is who I support, and his name is on the door. And he is pissed.

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Both of these attorneys are back from vacation on Monday. If I were her, I would be having serious job insecurity right now.

So, today I came into the office to learn that she has taken it upon herself to totally reorganize the server file for an upcoming trial. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I asked if she had run it by the lead attorney in the matter, you know, the guy whose name is on the door? He is notably very persnickety about file organization, particularly if we are going to trial. She just feels we need to modernize our file organization. : dramatic eye roll:

I am also a legal assistant, not a paralegal.

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Recently we had a long term legal assistant retire after 15 years with the firm. She had enormous institutional knowledge and was universally loved.

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After her retirement, I am now the "senior" legal assistant.

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New legal assistant is doing ok, not terrific. She has made mistakes, which is totally normal and expected. We knew there would be a significant amount of time to bring her up to speed.

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What I wasn't prepared for is the pushback when she receives feedback. At least once, I am certain she was dishonest with me. Other times she has explained to me that the way it was done at her previous firm is the correct way (she was in a different area of law). I have been approached by a paralegal and accounting about difficulties they are having giving her feedback as well.

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I am trying to give grace because I know adapting can take time, but I dread giving her any type of feedback. If she would let me, I could really help her. But if the only way to give her feedback is to go through an attorney, I worry it will negatively affect her employment at the firm.

I am happy, proud and scared s***less. She has completed a 90 day program, which is amazing. She will face a lot of challenges and temptations when they cut her loose.

I am trying so hard to be optimistic.