u/JustAPinkeen

Looking for recommendations. Taking a trip in June for a few days. Going to try Slutty Vegan. Thai restaurant recommendations also welcomed. Thank you in advance.

I had been using sertraline and clomipramine for years to try and help relieve symptoms. An unfortunate situation lead to me not having access to my medication in a timely manner, and due to this I was determined to try and exist without it. I went through the whole withdrawal experience, and wouldn’t recommend. I have gone a couple of years now, and had been doing kind of all right. I noticed as time went on though, that my symptoms came back and somehow even more intense. The worry about things. Checking particularly has been really bad. I’ve been late to work on more than one occasion because I’ve had to go back home to check if the coffee maker was on (it has an auto shut off). My brain is telling me there will be a fire. It’s always fire. I also hate being late, and if I am will focus on that even if it’s by 5 minutes. I’ve noticed as well that I’m even more freaked out about other people’s “molecules” getting on me. If I just graze another person’s hand when handing over documents at work I imagine these molecules crawling all over me. I have to try and mentally get myself to think of something else and it is consuming so much time. At night I can’t sleep because I hear something say the doors and windows are not locked. If my paperwork is not stacked right someone I love is going to die. The worst thing that really forced my decision is “air hunger”. I feel like I can’t breathe deep enough. I don’t have asthma. I’ve been checked. It’s literally my body being too anxious and focused on my breathing. Being so fixated on my breathing that it messes it up. It’s so dysfunctional. There is more too, but these are the ones causing the most immediate disruption. I’m losing my mind, and I’m going back to medication. I feel in a lot of ways that it is a failure. I don’t like feeling dependent on something other people don’t need to just be semi normal.