u/JustAnotherMisfitToy

Context: I have a smaller group of close friends who I deeply care for, and we have been through a lot of struggles together. When selecting who I was going to have as bridesmaids, I was uncomfortable having all of them standing up with me, because then I feel like our intimate ceremony would be virtually empty, and my fiancee is only doing two groomsmen, so I chose two girls to be co maids of honor- one has been my friend since childhood, the other was someone who was my first friend when I moved to a new state and part of this friend group. I am the type of friend who is the Mom: I will drop everything to try and help friends who need help or are in a bind. I truly think I’m a great friend (not trying to brag, I’m just really upset right now).

I’m a very low maintenance, people-pleasing bride. I didn’t have a Bridal Shower because I didn’t want to inconvenience people on teachers’ salaries with having to get me a gift for the bridal shower and the wedding- it seemed like I was asking too much.

I planned a bachelorette weekend with these very close friends of mine. They were all generally aware of it around a year ago that it would be one of two weekends. Everyone said they would mark off both weekends. Now, I get life happens, however, this is what then transpired in the time after that. I specified the exact dates two months ago. I booked the AirBnB

Friend 1: Pregnant by a married man who wants nothing to do with her, tells me at four months, on my birthday. She just had his kid, so she is unable to go. Honestly, it is what it is with this situation. I’m truly happy she got something so beautiful out of a situation, but I’m also sad for me because I cared about this friend being there to celebrate. I’m glad she’s coming to the wedding, but still.

Friend 2/MOH #1: unable to come because her sister’s graduation (I don’t fault her for this because she also lives literally across the country).

So, knowing the above situations, I booked an AirBnB for 5 people.

Friend 3: Said she would go but called me three weeks ago and said she was sorry but everything is so expensive right now and she’s planning on starting her masters program this summer and family stuff is tough, so she’s going to come up on just Friday. Asked if I want her to pay full amount or half. I’m a pushover, only half. (All I can think as this transpires: you pay to get your hair and nails done every two weeks though.)

Friend 4: Seemed very upset I didn’t choose her for being a bridesmaid- saying she’s a bridesmaid in four weddings this year, so she has to save all her money for that. Was up front that she could probably come up only one day of the weekend, but was dodged about staying overnight, and knowing her and her drinking habits when we go out, I knew I had to book a place for 5 in case she got too drunk. Always has money troubles yet always has money for expensive makeup and door dashes food regularly though. I literally helped to wrangle things for her birthday when everything wasn’t going according to plan, including making food and appetizers for the party.

Friend 5: Paid for her portion of the nights, all was going well. Today tells me she is going to have to leave on Saturday because “family stuff” came up. I want to believe her but I just don’t. She also said originally she was planning on taking Friday off to come up early in the day, but now she’s coming after work (so after 5). Wonderful.

Friend 6/MOH#2: I am so grateful for her. She’s been with me every step of the way, she’s going to be there all weekend. I’m sad because she ordered games for us to all play together because she knows how much I love board and card games and now we can’t even play them.

Total cost for two days for AirBnB was $150 a person, actually higher but I didn’t want to ask people to pay more than that.

Please don’t judge me if I sound harsh, I am just SO over the disappointment. Like literally I never make things about me. I just wanted to have a girls weekend and kind of for ONCE be the center of attention??? Idk if that sounds weird???? My dad has been fighting throat cancer the past five months too, so I just wanted to feel free and escape life with my gal pals. End of rant.