u/Kaleidoscope235

Me 32 female him 29 male. Just looking to see is this normal. Talking about a month and have had 4 dates. At the start we were sending big essays to each other and responding quick. Dates have gone well one had to be rescheduled due to work (he works in a high performance job). On the last date he asked me to meet again and this is planned however since that date there have been 5-7 hour delays sometimes without messages and dramatic length decrease. He has a very busy period in work and a lot of hobbies outside of work. Date 5 is still planned and I have asked is all ok and he has said yes just busy. Is this normal or am I being slow faded? Messages I receive aren’t very flirty but checking in on me updating me on things his side.

Just interested to hear other view points in this. Had two great dates with a guy (33m and me 34f talking 2 weeks). He initiated both dates. Now I will say in date 2 he didn’t seem the happiest to see me but when we settled we had a great time and he gave me a lift home.

After the first date he was very enthusiastic and said twice he wanted to see me again. This time he said he wouldn’t make thing awkward and ask about meeting again. So I said to him I would like to meet him again if he wanted. He kind of brush it off and said we will see.

I said to him if he wanted to be just friends that was fine (especially after the enthusiasm the first date to get that response) he asked me what I thought and I said I wanted to see him romantically. He said sure we will wait and see and meet again but in the next breathe said this convo was so awkward and I was very direct.

He said he couldn’t decide after two dates and I asked did he think I was asking him to be my boyfriend or something I was so confused. He laughed and said no. I said well why don’t you have a think and message me if you want to see me again.

1.5 days later he responded asking how I was and making a joke about something. I just messaged saying it might be best to be friends. Did I overreact here or was this someone giving mixed signals or not full in?

Just interested to hear other view points in this. Had two great dates with a guy (33m and me 34f talking 2 weeks). He initiated both dates. Now I will say in date 2 he didn’t seem the happiest to see me but when we settled we had a great time and he gave me a lift home.

After the first date he was very enthusiastic and said twice he wanted to see me again. This time he said he wouldn’t make thing awkward and ask about meeting again. So I said to him I would like to meet him again if he wanted. He kind of brush it off and said we will see.

I said to him if he wanted to be just friends that was fine (especially after the enthusiasm the first date to get that response) he asked me what I thought and I said I wanted to see him romantically. He said sure we will wait and see and meet again but in the next breathe said this convo was so awkward and I was very direct.

He said he couldn’t decide after two dates and I asked did he think I was asking him to be my boyfriend or something I was so confused. He laughed and said no. I said well why don’t you have a think and message me if you want to see me again.

1.5 days later he responded asking how I was and making a joke about something. I just messaged saying it might be best to be friends. Did I overreact here or was this someone giving mixed signals or not full in?

I (34F) went on 2 dates with a guy (32M) from Bumble over about 1.5 weeks and I’m struggling to read the situation.

The confusing part is the actual dates themselves were genuinely really good. We talked/laughed for hour and had loads in common, he was engaged the whole time. I went to him the first time he came to me the second (he also at the end of the first date asked for a second twice! this is important later). I had him in stitches at points and it felt very natural and easy in person.

BUT the progression has been really slow compared to what I’m used to no kiss after either date, still talking on Bumble only, he’s quite slow texting/replying and no real flirting.

At the end of the second date, he said he wouldnt make things awkward and ask for a second date so I basically directly asked whether he saw this romantically or as more of a friendship vibe because I didn’t want to keep investing if he wasn’t actually attracted to me.

That’s where it got weird. He got awkward, said I was “very direct”, kept saying “we’ll see”, “I can’t decide after 2 dates”, “I need to think about it” etc. I was honestly confused because in my head I was literally just asking “do you fancy me enough to keep dating me?” not asking for a relationship or commitment.

He later messaged me normally again asking about my class and joking around, so it’s not a total ghost situation but it also took him 1.5 days to respond after that vulnerable convo (well it was vulnerable for me anyway!) but the whole interaction has left me feeling unsettled and honestly a bit undesired.

My sister thinks his reaction was immature and that someone genuinely excited about me would have been clearer/warmer. Part of me agrees. Another part of me wonders if he’s just slower/more awkward emotionally than the men I’ve dated before.

Am I expecting too much after only 2 dates? Or does this sound like someone who is unsure/not romantically invested enough?

Back on the dating scene at 35 and trying to get used to today standards. Went on a first date with a very nice lad. Was short but we got on well he asked to meet again at the end and I said yes and for him to message me. This was at 19:30 and I haven’t heard anything. I did have a class until 21:00 he walked me to. Is it bad I haven’t heard anything? Or what is the usual or acceptable timeframes for this. I would think texting that night?

I saw your face again tonight. A swipe left and there you were in the flesh of a megapixel. A face I know and a face I don’t. I lost my breathe your name, your age another year older than when we last spoke. Did they all forget your birthday like you said they would?

I flicked through the photos. Versions of you I had never seen mixed with versions of you I had. I found the picture you took on our trip to the island. Your eyes looked so sad. Did being with me make you sad? And yet you picked this picture to represent you on your profile to attract the next victim to your avoidant trap. You stopped drinking. Did I influence that? Something you couldn’t do with me. When you drank you were happier with me. Maybe it quietened the voices in your head telling you, you didnt deserve love.

You came back into my life the second time for only a blink in my life but what an soul destroying impact it had. To be discarded like nothing will alway haunt me. Sat in your bed naked as my reality crashed around me and here you are doing it again through a screen.

Did you see my pictures? most are the ones I sent to you. I had noone to take pictures of myself for quite awhile until you came back. I didn’t want them to go to waste. Hours of distance and choosen silence between us and yet the irony of us both having a picture from the same trip. You look dead behind the eyes and sad, a weight on your shoulders unhidden by your eyes and me head thrown back with my arms in the air laughing with pure joy wearing your jacket. An accurate representation of our time together. You broke me a little but I will heal.

How do you move past the guilt of ending it with someone nice but incompatible? Only dating a few weeks and met a handful of times. They also had a family member away during this time. Tried my best to support as best I could. Had sex a few times but this only highlighted major incompatibilities that wouldn’t have survived long term so ended it soon after. Gave it a few goes but it was a pattern. Feel so guilty because they are a lovely person but it just wouldn’t have worked. Is it normal to feel this guilty and upset?