u/Keep_The_Change-

I’m going to try my best to write this out well and properly frame everything but bear with me…

I’m in my mid twenties now and I’ve been on my own since 18 and have been working and providing since 15. My home life as a child was pretty rough, not the worst I know there’s plenty of people with more misfortune than me. But to be frank my parents both kind of sucked, they loved me (I think) but they both had their own mental issues and it just resulted in a weird mess that I got the shit end of the deal on just about every outcome.

Dads been disabled for years and years and has gotten progressively worse as time went on and mom is an addict that every few years or so falls off the wagon and brings everything tumbling down along with her.

Fast forward to most recent years there was some altercations that led to my father moving into my house with my family and now I’m currently his only caregiver, moms on her own but has had this terrible psychological issue that resurfaced and became more common which makes her completely incompetent and incapable of being aware of anything around her. (Doctors aren’t doing much but minor med changes that haven’t helped).

The knitty gritty is that she lost her income due to this last situation and is now using my father’s income to support herself. I’m left to foot the bill for my father. (diapers food healthcare literally everything) Thankfully I do well for myself but it is taking away from being able to save any money at all anymore. I’m currently trying to get him insurance. And I’d like to get him into proper housing because taking care of someone with his disability is a lot for a young man working minimum 40 hrs a week sometimes upwards to 80 hrs (these weeks are literally hell for me) then coming home and having to change urine jugs, shower him clean laundry ect ect ect…. Whilst still trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle myself and be there for my wife and children.

Pitty party over, mom is supposed to be splitting his check with me to pay for all his stuff diapers food clothes phone bill. And she hasn’t, she’s in a terrible situation herself…. If I am able to get him insurance and hopefully find a place that will accept him I’m sure they will want some of his money to help cover living expenses on top of state insurance, but what do I do when mom won’t give that up? And if she does give it up then I will in turn be paying her as she will need help.

Obviously there’s much more to the story that explains personal feelings of betrayal and anger and confusion yadda yadda yadda. I try my best to be a good son to these people who repeatedly hurt me… and my family, what are my options these are supposed to be the best years of my life and I’m constantly pulling my hair out over these two. I don’t want to kick either of them out of my life I don’t even know if I could do that? I wouldn’t mind caring for my father if it weren’t for the overtime weeks and the fact that my only bathroom is upstairs, and he’s paralyzed.

Do I have any options here that don’t totally screw one person over or am I just forced to continue to take the blunt end of the stick here.

Adult services kept sending me to places for senior citizens and they won’t except my father because he’s not old enough.

Am I just being a self pitying asshole? Should I just learn to deal with my cards? I feel like this isn’t right….

Thanks for reading.