u/Kerleymakayla

I am a nurse and was diagnosed with autism at 26 years old about 7 months ago. Honestly, I had no idea I was autistic when I went into nursing. I thought if I forced myself into enough exposure and uncomfortable situations that eventually I would “get over” my struggles socially, mentally, and functionally.

I first worked in a hospital for about 6 months and completely burned out and had to quit. After that I went into mental health/substance abuse nursing because it was more routine-based and less chaotic than the hospital. I stayed there for almost 4 years, but I struggled the entire time even though I became much more functional there with repetition and routine.

The facility recently went through bankruptcy and I had to get a new job in the same field. Since starting over again, I feel like I am losing my mind.

I am constantly overwhelmed. I cry all the time now. I feel like I’m barely holding it together at work and it’s affecting my personal life badly. I feel exhausted mentally before I even go into shifts because I know how much effort it takes just to function normally around people.

Nobody really knows I’m autistic. I mask constantly. I spend so much energy trying to hide: confusion, overwhelm, social difficulties, executive functioning problems, sensory sensitivity, anxiety, difficulty processing things quickly, difficulty learning environments/systems unless I repeat them many times.

People at work say I am “slow.”

One thing I struggle with badly is learning systems/environments. For example, at my detox facility there are apartments/buildings with room systems that don’t match the charting names clearly. People seem to “just know” where everything is. I was shown quickly once or twice and everyone else acts like it’s common sense. Meanwhile I get confused and anxious trying to find patients or understand where things are.

I ask questions, but honestly if I asked every question I actually had, it would be nonstop. So I filter them. I try to figure things out behind the scenes by watching other people, researching things myself, memorizing patterns, or pretending I understand until I can piece it together alone. A lot of “common sense” things are not common sense to me unless I’ve repeated them many times.

The worst part is that I genuinely care SO much about doing things correctly. I overthink everything because I’m scared of making mistakes or looking incompetent. I feel like I am constantly trying to compensate and appear normal. I just don’t feel like I have ever had any other option but to just “push through”. And ever since I got diagnosed, I’ve been so exhausted of doing that now that I know what it is. I would quit on the spot if I had the option and find something that worked better for my brain. I wish I would have known all of this before I went to college and got into this position. Now I don’t know what to do.

Financially I feel trapped. I wish I could leave nursing entirely, but I cannot find anything else with remotely similar pay and I have struggled financially for years already. I feel backed into a corner.

I guess I’m posting because I want to know:

-Did anyone else choose a career thinking exposure would force you to become more socially functional, only to end up extremely burned out?

-Has anyone found careers or work environments that are more autism-friendly but still financially survivable?

-How do you survive workplaces where there are a lot of unwritten rules and “common sense” expectations?

- How do you manage the overwhelm and masking long term?

- Are there other autistic nurses or healthcare workers who relate to this?

- Does it ever get easier?

I feel very alone in this.

I am a nurse and was diagnosed with autism at 26 years old about 7 months ago. Honestly, I had no idea I was autistic when I went into nursing. I thought if I forced myself into enough exposure and uncomfortable situations that eventually I would “get over” my struggles socially, mentally, and functionally.

I first worked in a hospital for about 6 months and completely burned out and had to quit. After that I went into mental health/substance abuse nursing because it was more routine-based and less chaotic than the hospital. I stayed there for almost 4 years, but I struggled the entire time even though I became much more functional there with repetition and routine.

The facility recently went through bankruptcy and I had to get a new job in the same field. Since starting over again, I feel like I am losing my mind.

I am constantly overwhelmed. I cry all the time now. I feel like I’m barely holding it together at work and it’s affecting my personal life badly. I feel exhausted mentally before I even go into shifts because I know how much effort it takes just to function normally around people.

Nobody really knows I’m autistic. I mask constantly. I spend so much energy trying to hide: confusion, overwhelm, social difficulties, executive functioning problems, sensory sensitivity, anxiety, difficulty processing things quickly, difficulty learning environments/systems unless I repeat them many times.

People at work say I am “slow.”

One thing I struggle with badly is learning systems/environments. For example, at my detox facility there are apartments/buildings with room systems that don’t match the charting names clearly. People seem to “just know” where everything is. I was shown quickly once or twice and everyone else acts like it’s common sense. Meanwhile I get confused and anxious trying to find patients or understand where things are.

I ask questions, but honestly if I asked every question I actually had, it would be nonstop. So I filter them. I try to figure things out behind the scenes by watching other people, researching things myself, memorizing patterns, or pretending I understand until I can piece it together alone. A lot of “common sense” things are not common sense to me unless I’ve repeated them many times.

The worst part is that I genuinely care SO much about doing things correctly. I overthink everything because I’m scared of making mistakes or looking incompetent. I feel like I am constantly trying to compensate and appear normal. I just don’t feel like I have ever had any other option but to just “push through”. And ever since I got diagnosed, I’ve been so exhausted of doing that now that I know what it is. I would quit on the spot if I had the option and find something that worked better for my brain. I wish I would have known all of this before I went to college and got into this position. Now I don’t know what to do.

Financially I feel trapped. I wish I could leave nursing entirely, but I cannot find anything else with remotely similar pay and I have struggled financially for years already. I feel backed into a corner.

I guess I’m posting because I want to know:

-Did anyone else choose a career thinking exposure would force you to become more socially functional, only to end up extremely burned out?

-Has anyone found careers or work environments that are more autism-friendly but still financially survivable?

-How do you survive workplaces where there are a lot of unwritten rules and “common sense” expectations?

- How do you manage the overwhelm and masking long term?

- Are there other autistic nurses or healthcare workers who relate to this?

- Does it ever get easier?

I feel very alone in this.

I am a nurse and was diagnosed with autism at 26 years old about 7 months ago. Honestly, I had no idea I was autistic when I went into nursing. I thought if I forced myself into enough exposure and uncomfortable situations that eventually I would “get over” my struggles socially, mentally, and functionally.

I first worked in a hospital for about 6 months and completely burned out and had to quit. After that I went into mental health/substance abuse nursing because it was more routine-based and less chaotic than the hospital. I stayed there for almost 4 years, but I struggled the entire time even though I became much more functional there with repetition and routine.

The facility recently went through bankruptcy and I had to get a new job in the same field. Since starting over again, I feel like I am losing my mind.

I am constantly overwhelmed. I cry all the time now. I feel like I’m barely holding it together at work and it’s affecting my personal life badly. I feel exhausted mentally before I even go into shifts because I know how much effort it takes just to function normally around people.

Nobody really knows I’m autistic. I mask constantly. I spend so much energy trying to hide: confusion, overwhelm, social difficulties, executive functioning problems, sensory sensitivity, anxiety, difficulty processing things quickly, difficulty learning environments/systems unless I repeat them many times.

People at work say I am “slow.”

One thing I struggle with badly is learning systems/environments. For example, at my detox facility there are apartments/buildings with room systems that don’t match the charting names clearly. People seem to “just know” where everything is. I was shown quickly once or twice and everyone else acts like it’s common sense. Meanwhile I get confused and anxious trying to find patients or understand where things are.

I ask questions, but honestly if I asked every question I actually had, it would be nonstop. So I filter them. I try to figure things out behind the scenes by watching other people, researching things myself, memorizing patterns, or pretending I understand until I can piece it together alone. A lot of “common sense” things are not common sense to me unless I’ve repeated them many times.

The worst part is that I genuinely care SO much about doing things correctly. I overthink everything because I’m scared of making mistakes or looking incompetent. I feel like I am constantly trying to compensate and appear normal. I just don’t feel like I have ever had any other option but to just “push through”. And ever since I got diagnosed, I’ve been so exhausted of doing that now that I know what it is. I would quit on the spot if I had the option and find something that worked better for my brain. I wish I would have known all of this before I went to college and got into this position. Now I don’t know what to do.

Financially I feel trapped. I wish I could leave nursing entirely, but I cannot find anything else with remotely similar pay and I have struggled financially for years already. I feel backed into a corner.

I guess I’m posting because I want to know:

-Did anyone else choose a career thinking exposure would force you to become more socially functional, only to end up extremely burned out?

-Has anyone found careers or work environments that are more autism-friendly but still financially survivable?

-How do you survive workplaces where there are a lot of unwritten rules and “common sense” expectations?

- How do you manage the overwhelm and masking long term?

- Are there other autistic nurses or healthcare workers who relate to this?

- Does it ever get easier?

I feel very alone in this.

Hi everyone. I’m looking to see if anyone has experienced something similar because my symptoms seem to have evolved over the years instead of just staying as “typical pelvic pain.”

I was diagnosed with endometriosis at age 17. (10 years ago)

I had my first laparoscopic ablation surgery for endometriosis in 2019. In 2020, I had the Kyleena IUD placed. Then I ended up needing another laparoscopic ablation surgery again in 2021. The doctor did not do biopsies/surgical pathology. Both times the doctor said he saw endometriosis over cul de sac, uterosacrals and posterior surface of cervix. He also told me I had Adenomyosis from ultrasound. Along with the fact I’ve had many cysts.

I lived in a rural area and no one even knew what endometriosis was besides the one OBGYN that did surgery on me.

After the surgeries and IUD, a lot of the symptoms I had originally associated with endometriosis improved. The constant bleeding and the more localized pelvic pain I had become used to before were significantly reduced. At first I thought things were finally getting better. I actually didn’t have any bleeding for many years so I had no idea where my cycle was. I attributed it to the IUD. It was not explained to me how endometriosis can show up besides pelvic pain and bleeding.

But over time, it feels like the symptoms transformed into something different rather than actually going away.

Instead of primarily pelvic pain/bleeding, now my symptoms feel much more systemic, inflammatory, and cyclical. Around my cycle I get severe abdominal swelling/distention, intense cramping, low back pain, nausea, headaches, extreme fatigue, pelvic heaviness/fullness, ovary pain, and this flu-like inflammatory feeling throughout my body. My stomach can become extremely swollen and tender, sometimes with pain radiating upward toward my ribs.

On top of this I get frequent infections (around cycle), elevated liver enzymes, UTI symptoms/blood in urine (with many being negative cultures), hair loss, bruising, cyclical weight gain/loss, etc. I was diagnosed with fatty liver at age 24.

I had been to many specialists. Rheumatology, immunology, cardiology, Endocrinologist, gastro, urology, etc. Didn’t put together until this year that everything lined up in a pattern on the same days each month and same times of year. And with my second IUD insertion I started seeing spotting lining up with these symptoms.

What confuses me is that my symptoms no longer feel isolated to just reproductive organs. It feels like my whole body reacts cyclically now — skin issues/acne flares, fatigue, swelling, inflammatory symptoms, joint/body pain, GI issues, bladder symptoms, etc. Not sure if there’s a possible PCOS overlap or something.

The new OBGYN I’m going to is concerned with how the doctor handled my care with the first 2 surgeries. He is concerned that deeper disease was missed (by not using excision) and/or that it progressed into bowel and bladder.

Has anyone else experienced their symptoms changing over time like this instead of simply “coming back” in the same way? Especially more systemic/cyclical symptoms and worsening bowel or bladder involvement years after surgery?

Hi everyone. I’m looking to see if anyone has experienced something similar because my symptoms seem to have evolved over the years instead of just staying as “typical pelvic pain.”

I was diagnosed with endometriosis at age 17. (10 years ago)

I had my first laparoscopic ablation surgery for endometriosis in 2019. In 2020, I had the Kyleena IUD placed. Then I ended up needing another laparoscopic ablation surgery again in 2021. The doctor did not do biopsies/surgical pathology. Both times the doctor said he saw endometriosis over cul de sac, uterosacrals and posterior surface of cervix. He also told me I had Adenomyosis from ultrasound. Along with the fact I’ve had many cysts.

I lived in a rural area and no one even knew what endometriosis was besides the one OBGYN that did surgery on me.

After the surgeries and IUD, a lot of the symptoms I had originally associated with endometriosis improved. The constant bleeding and the more localized pelvic pain I had become used to before were significantly reduced. At first I thought things were finally getting better. I actually didn’t have any bleeding for many years so I had no idea where my cycle was. I attributed it to the IUD. It was not explained to me how endometriosis can show up besides pelvic pain and bleeding.

But over time, it feels like the symptoms transformed into something different rather than actually going away.

Instead of primarily pelvic pain/bleeding, now my symptoms feel much more systemic, inflammatory, and cyclical. Around my cycle I get severe abdominal swelling/distention, intense cramping, low back pain, nausea, headaches, extreme fatigue, pelvic heaviness/fullness, ovary pain, and this flu-like inflammatory feeling throughout my body. My stomach can become extremely swollen and tender, sometimes with pain radiating upward toward my ribs.

On top of this I get frequent infections (around cycle), elevated liver enzymes, UTI symptoms/blood in urine (with many being negative cultures), hair loss, bruising, cyclical weight gain/loss, etc. I was diagnosed with fatty liver at age 24.

I had been to many specialists. Rheumatology, immunology, cardiology, Endocrinologist, gastro, urology, etc. Didn’t put together until this year that everything lined up in a pattern on the same days each month and same times of year. And with my second IUD insertion I started seeing spotting lining up with these symptoms.

What confuses me is that my symptoms no longer feel isolated to just reproductive organs. It feels like my whole body reacts cyclically now — skin issues/acne flares, fatigue, swelling, inflammatory symptoms, joint/body pain, GI issues, bladder symptoms, etc. Not sure if there’s a possible PCOS overlap or something.

The new OBGYN I’m going to is concerned with how the doctor handled my care with the first 2 surgeries. He is concerned that deeper disease was missed (by not using excision) and/or that it progressed into bowel and bladder.

Has anyone else experienced their symptoms changing over time like this instead of simply “coming back” in the same way? Especially more systemic/cyclical symptoms and worsening bowel or bladder involvement years after surgery?