u/Kerryjacobs411

I no longer crave for peoples opinions on matters (I find them biased)

I wish I find someone who we can talk without filtration and when I do :

Everyone as different opinions or just agreeing to save face and deliver their philosophy:

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I can't read books or seek knowledge from third parties:

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I'm scared I will get corrupted and pointed into the wrong direction:

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(WHICH I will have to get myself out of)

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I'm tired of the jealousy/envy and the fact that everyone is trying to outdo each other in society:

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I don't wear flashy clothes or have a lot of money:

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I only reciprocate things

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But still there's always someone out there feeling threatened by my presence and when I reciprocate the feeling or outdo them in their challenge I feel guilty:

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I feel like I have reached the end of knowledge:

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And I can't return to nothingness and start over:

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It feels like whatever step I take is only gonna be a loop and a repeat of everything and I'm just here feeling bad for myself::

I mean you don't remember pain:

It has no effect other than telling you you are hurt :

I'm sure there's arguments that can counter those 2

But what about PAIN before dying????

Is it really rational?

Why feel pain when you are to be excluded is it some sort of punishment for failing to live???

I would love to hear some arguments that counter that

OIL

CELIBACY IS NOT WORKING FR:

MY ONLY WISH NI UKUWE TU PETITE IZO ZINGINE USO TUTAFUNIKA NA BLANKET:

1 NIGHT STAND NO STRINGS

MCHEZO IKUKUBAMBA UNAEZA FOLLOW UP:

NA AM NOT HOSTING:

HATA HERI NILIPE HOTELI

I got introduced to pessimism at an early age:

Looking back to my earlier years I never even understood what it was:

I've been a fan of reading and seeking knowledge but ever since I understood pessimism/Anti-natalism/Nihilism

I have become very numb to things :

I do gym but it doesn't feel as before

When I started I wanted to be big so that I can protect myself but now i want to be the biggest guy in the whole universe: (no matter how I try to lie to myself that's my only goal now)

I did quit my job due to the fact I'm no longer interested with pleasing my supervisors ego and their need to feel in charge:

I don't want friendships because literally everyone I meet is an optimist or arrogant in their selfish ways:

Deep down there's a voice telling me it's all futile and there's another telling me I should stop and just watch as things pass by:

But my brain is just there doing things without my consent and acting like my thoughts are only known by me:

Why though ?

What is the purpose???

I feel like bring new people in this world is the main foundation of our mistakes us humans while we haven't even grasped the biology:

Kuna watu wanapima watu huku please let's not waste each others time hakuna venye utapost kuna gig alafu nikifikaa unaanza kuniambia sijui mara ninunue Dl na Fullz vitu kama hizi inafaa unasema before mtu hajakuja inbox walaiii:

Post gigs na requirements si hati mtu anafika inbox unareply 3hrs later and only to say we need this and this (which you didn't mention in the first place)

Let's all be formal with details