Conversion and being Anti-Zionist
I was raised loosely Christian, and have felt like I align more with Judaism for about 6 years now. I actually tried to lean into Christianity more in an attempt to feel more secure in my religious beliefs, and it just did not feel right. I do believe that I want to convert to Judaism. I find that my beliefs are much more aligned with Judaism, and there are many Christian beliefs that I do not believe in myself. I have started watching services livestreamed from my local congregation, and I have really enjoyed them; they felt much more correct for me than Christian services I have attended in the past.
That being said, I am struggling to start converting. I want to do it formally and work with my local rabbi, but I am very worried. I do not consider myself to be a Zionist, and I am very, very against what is happening right now. I have tried to dive deep into researching the history of Israel/Palestine, and it is very confusing. I believe that the Jewish people have the right to live in the area, and I believe the Palestinian people have the right to live in the area as well. I think everyone has the right to live everywhere and not be hated or seen as less-than.
I am worried that I will be judged or even not welcomed to convert due to my lack of belief in a nation-state. I believe that Judaism is a fairly welcoming religion in its beliefs, and that a Jewish state goes against my belief that everyone should be welcomed everywhere.
I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on my comments, my struggles, or your own advice. I am still learning and am struggling to have productive conversations in my personal life due to some of my loved ones (I think unknowingly having) underlying anti-Semitic thought processes.