r/ConvertingtoJudaism

I'm just curious. When converting do you have to be completely pro-Israel, or are you allowed more nuanced opinions about the situation?

I need inspo!

Just curious how people observe Shavuot. I'm going to two events tomorrow at two synagogues. I am on the fence about staying up all night and attending the later, overnight events at one of them. I think I can only last until midnight. I went to part of the overnight one last year and absolutely LOVED it. I love learning and debating. 😄

How do you all observe or celebrate Shavuot?

Hi everyone,

I posted recently that I was going to explore conversion in Reform Judaism. At the Temple I will attend, they do require a beit din and a mikveh/ circumcision (as the case may be) for conversion (I know not all of them do.).

The mikveh both intrigues and freaks me out. You see, I don't swim, and don't like having my head under water. I'm really nervous about the dunking, even though I would be dunking myself (more comforting than someone else dunking me.)

I also feel really uncomfortable being naked around anyone else but my husband or a doctor. Do they have to check you over before you go in? I know they only watch to see if you're under after that.

Anyone else with any similar experiences or concerns? How to make it easier?

This is putting the proverbial cart WAAAAAAY before the horse, I'm only just thinking about conversion, so I know it will be awhile. I'd welcome any and all mikveh tips you're comfortable sharing.

I converted Orthodox in a very modern synagogue in the sense that you have Jews from all different observances even though it's services and staff are considered Orthodox. I did my Beit Din in Florida, and it was total a year or so to convert. I'd say it was very fruitful and learning a lot from my local rebbetzins and taking classes. However, a year or so after my conversion and after marrying my now husband, I've been so disgustingly disappointed in my community. They started rumors about me not being 'really Jewish' or not Jewish enough since I eat kosher at my family's homes, etc. I'm so hurt by the whole thing I've gone totally OTD. I relinquished all association with Judaism, my husband too. I haven't gone back since hearing this. I write this since it's a different and rare experience after converting orthodox, since nobody really talks about leaving, ever. I don't want to bring anyone down, just sharing my experiences. AMA.

I been wanting to convert to judism for about 3 years now. Due to my young age and me being in college I have gotten a lot of nos or you sures I have said yes every time! I get a lot of checking if I am doing it for marriage or idk. I am 22 and in college with not a stable home left. I was a bad place one time and Judaism G-d help me with that. It makes sense for me. I celebrate high holidays and Shabbat, even was vice president of Jewish. Club on Campus through friends.

I was working with this previous rabbi near where my house was. I went to Shabbat service ever Friday it was amazing. This rabbi I have only “worked” with him for a year. The rabbi was going to retire by the end of the year. So I payed for the classes he recommended while I was at school. Read the books I was so excited but I reached out he didn’t answer even to the temple I think he silently quite maybe? He didn’t answer and I think the temple switched the rabbi by now. Now am kinda stuck frustratedly in the middle of my conversation. He never reached out or we didn’t do check ins like I heard in Judaism classes like the other students. It was me on my own. After 4 failed attempts and not seeing him since I am reaching to a different rabbi and said that’ll have to redo my conversion all over again. I want this I been sure of this for 3 years been doing it on my own. I want to smile and say I am Jewish I think when I called the new temple today o think my bluntness throw the office people off.
Round 2! I am already planning my adult bat mitzvah.

If anyone has advice regarding the process knowing the guideline of a rabbi and reg flags or to know.

Curious ?

So whilst a Noachide is non Jewish their religion or affiliate religion is Judaism so that means aligning themselves with Orthodoxy and believing in it ; which means that uphold Halacha or the belief that it is binding at all times. This means that they will accept only Orthodox conversions.

This leaves some Reform/Conservative converts upset as here is a non Jew telling them their conversion is invalid due to their beliefs. However why get upset as they are only going by what Orthodox judaism the religion they align to tells them. It's like getting upset that a Catholic says Abortion is immoral. Well they are just echoing what their faith tells them . So too with Noachides.

So why get upset if a Noachide says that a Reform conversion is invalid when they are just going by their religion or religious beliefs ?

So basically Noachidism which is what some born Jews use to gatekeep aspiring converts. Of course the concept is valid but was never intended by the talmuidic rabbis as some sort of anti convert gatekeeping tool is pretty much Judaism well of course it's a Jewish concept. Aspiring converts who cave in and decide to remain a Noahide find themselves now being told well you see the Talmud , you cannot as a non Jew even glance at it, but you must adhere to normative Judaism belief wise which the Talmud is an authoritative text

So the righteous non Jew tries his best with the texts given at his disposal that he is told he can read . So he is told he can read Chumash and with the famous medieval commentator- Rashi who is recommended, but only issue is that his commentary cites Talmud/Midrashim extensively to illustrate the point. So the poor Noachide is baffled because he is reading a commentary that he is recommended to read from it to better understand the Bible, but it quotes material . He is told he cannot even have a glance at, and at the same time has embraced a religion where it's an authoritative text . So from a logical standpoint does that even make sense banning a non Jew from said text after being talked out of conversion but he can read the scriptual text with material from that prohibited material to him in a religion where said prohibited material is authoritative. Does this make sense ?

Hi everyone,

I’m a recent graduate moving to Manchester (UK) in September. I’ve been interested in Judaism for a long time, and this will be my first time living somewhere with a large Jewish community, and so I really want to take the opportunity to learn more about the faith, with a potential interest in conversion. I’m not sure where I stand regarding Orthodox/Conservative/Reform, and I don’t want to make assumptions before learning more.

Does anyone have advice on how best to start getting involved in Manchester? Are there particular synagogues, classes or community spaces that would be welcoming to someone who is just beginning to explore?

I’m especially interested in with a lot of other young adults. I know Judaism is very community-focused and I think it would be helpful to learn and maybe participate alongside people at a similar stage of life.

I don’t personally know anyone Jewish, so I’m trying to find a respectful way to explore what this might mean for my future. Thank you so much for any suggestions!

I also completely respect and understand that synagogues in Manchester might not be open to new visitors right now too

I’m new to posting on Reddit and made an account just to post this, so sorry if this isn’t the right place for this <3

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So unfortunately converts irrespective of race have to endure nonsensical gatekeeping arguments that try and sway them from conversion such as it's so hard to follow Torah u Mitzvot. You will be able to hack it. Remain a Noachide.

Of course that argument is nonsensical because it's like saying God pulled a sick joke on Jews and gave them a system and a group of laws that somehow they will never be able to fulfilled even collectively , and eternally dammed and similar to the Pauline idea that the Torah is a burden a course. So with all that nonsense the born Jew is cosigning the Christian, Pauline belief surrounding the Torah.

Thoughts ?

ETA: My husband is not religious, we don't go to church. My daughter was baptized Catholic as a baby, but not raised in it., she doesn't remember the few times we went to church when she was a toddler. His family is Christian, but very loosely and never attend church, they were supportive before. I only have my sister and she's very supportive, although we're not really close so she wouldn't be a factor.

ETA: I emailed the Rabbi I knew before to inquire. Thanks for all your support, it was one of the boosts that I needed!

Hi everyone!

To provide a little bit of background..I've been fascinated by Judaism and have had a special love for the Jewish people for as long as I can remember. I was raised a very liberal Roman Catholic. Whenever I heard Hebrew prayers, or music, I would immediately choke up and it would sound familiar somehow..and I normally am stoic by nature, I don't respond like that typically. Later on in life, I had Jewish friends and a Jewish boyfriend. Whenever my being a gentile was mentioned, the first thought that would pop in my head was "I'm not, though, I'm Jewish!". It was very strange.

I left Catholicism for a variety of reasons in my late teens, and explored many other paths.

About 6 years ago, I started studying Judaism at a Reform synagogue. I loved the environment and the people, it was very moving, but I just felt it wasn't the right time. I'd lost my mother at the same time, and I think I was still in a grieving process.

I'm considering returning to explore conversion, but don't want to seem fickle. I am married, and have a daughter who is almost 13. My husband 100% supports me if I choose to convert (he always did). My daughter, who is AuDHD, was fascinated with Judaism and enjoyed it when we went..but she is not sure how she feels now. (she was only 6 back then.) I understand that she doesn't have to convert, as she is of age.

I guess I'm wondering how this could work, if I were the only convert? I know Reform supports intermarriage, but wouldn't being the only Jew in my family awkward?

Anyone else in this situation/know of a situation like this and have advice?

Thanks!

I all ways have problems with this, and it sometimes stops me from believing a devout believer. Plz help.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year and I have been “trying” to convert to Judaism, not for him, for me, but I also can’t be with him publicly or be known to his family because I’m still not Jewish. (I want to say I put “trying” in quotes because I have been attending Shabbos morning services, holidays, taking Jewish classes once a week every week and been in contact with a sponsoring Rabbi for over 2 years now. He keeps denying me to apply to meet with the beis din. So I haven’t officially started the conversion yet..) my boyfriend seems to want to break it off with me, not because he wants to or doesn’t love me anymore, but because he is feeling overwhelmed by a few things. Those things being 1. I haven’t started the process yet and he doesn’t know when I will start or finish. 2. He’s getting pressured by his family to date, marry, move out, etc. 3. He’s scared if he does tell his family they will react extremely poorly and possibly tell him to break it off anyways.

All in all, I don’t know what to do, and neither does he. If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions. I’d take anything at this point. Even if it’s just how to be able to advance with my conversion, or how to handle the situation with my boyfriend, or how to tell his family, etc.

thank you so much in advance!

Unfortunately racism from white Jews is pretty much inevitable a non white Jew and also a non white Jewish convert is pretty much unfortunately will have ay least one time a racist experience from white Jews . So as non white converts how have you dealt with any racism. And did it put you off from converting ?

To preface, I don't know if I'm necessarily converting just yet. I'm observing shabbat and have began attending a Reform synagogue near me. It's really nice. During this exploration process, when I read books like Living a Jewish Life by Anita Diamant, or Here All Along by Sarah Hurwitz, I am left with an empowered feeling that I, too, can feel comfortable as a transgender woman in exploring Judaism. That there is room for religion as a powerful tool in my life, just as much as everyone else. That's a great feeling coming from an Evangelical Christian background. Something I've never experienced with religion before and I don't want to let it go.

However, those feelings of safety in Judaism come to a screeching halt when I find out that Sarah Hurwitz recommends resources from people who are transphobic; people I would never knowingly want to support (like Bari Weiss (transphobe) or Rabbi Sacks (who has stated that Judaism is not okay with gay marriage)), or when the sub constantly recommends sources from Joseph Telushkin, who believes that trans women shouldn't be allowed to play in women's sports. Personally, I don't care to support those who believe I should have less rights than them simply because I'm trans. I'm sure many Jewish people can empathize with that.

So that's why I'm asking here today: Are there any authors of books on Judaism who are supportive of the trans community? Who do believe that we are people who deserve to be able to do the same things as everyone else? They don't need to be explicitly about supporting the LGBTQ+ community, but they should at least not have a record of them saying things that are inherently transphobic or homophobic.

Surely there must be others like me?

EDIT: I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded and provided resources/places to look! It is exactly what I was looking for and this post exceeded expectations in terms of responses. I appreciate it so much. Truly 😄 I also just wanna say that you are all right. I can't just run away or discredit the ways someone may be able to help me just because I don't agree with their views. I'm someone who uses my dollar to show support but I suppose with how new being trans is to Judaism, I'm asking for a bit much. Maybe it'll be easier in the future. For now, I'll take what I can get (plus, I'm sure they have some good information to offer). Thank you!

Hello fellow converts! I’m so happy I found this page to finally not feel super alone as a convert and see how many others have gone through or going through the process 😊. I’m in a weird place and wondering what direction to go. I’ll try to give the highlights for context.

I kind of grew up with Judaism since I was about 7. It started when my Mom went to a class taught by a “Rabbi” teaching about the ”Hebrew Roots of Your Christian Faith”. She loved it and started taking my family to their “synagogue“. As an adult I now know that Hebrew Christian (they call themselves Messianic Jews, but no one there is Jewish) community is a total sham, but can look back and appreciate the foundation of learning Hebrew and concepts of Judaism. I grew up thinking I was Jewish until high school when someone told me that you either convert or are born Jewish. That was absolutely devastating to my identity, but pushed me to explore converting in college. I started going to the Chabad house events, Erev Shabbat dinners, and even learning with the Rebbetzin for a while, but never asked about conversion. Maybe I was afraid of being judged or didn’t know where to start as a college student living with roommates.

It wasn’t until after graduation when I joined the military that I really started exploring what Judaism is and began a formal conversion program in Hawaii, facilitated by the Jewish chaplain on island. At the end of my process in 2018, I had my Beit Din with three male Rabbis, did my Mikvah in the Pacific Ocean (which was so moving and beautiful! Dont worry, it was in a secluded part of a neighborhood beach with the Rebbetzin and another female escorting me out until I could fully immerse without touching the ground and take my swimsuit off.), and celebrated! I moved to California and happened to move within walking distance of a Conservative shul where I made a home and built my Jewish community.

Fast forward to 2026: I’m married to a Jewish man (culturally Jewish but not super religious), raising Jewish children, in a Jewish community, observing all the mitzvot as best I can and happy with our lives. My shul began a Miller Intro To Judaism Course that I enrolled in as a nice refresher and to learn more with a different Rabbi, but quickly realized this was not like my initial conversion lessons at all. My Rabbi went more in depth, more reading, more discussions, and I loved it! That class sparked me to reflect on my own conversion eight years ago and realize some flaws about my experience that made me question a lot. What denomination did I convert to? Is my certificate enough to make Aliyah if we wanted? What about my childrens status? Should I convert again?

On top of that, there’s this ache for more. More learning, more study, more prayer, more observance… just more Judaism. Ive been exploring the idea of going through an Orthodox conversion to end the question of my children’s status, but haven’t fully decided yet. I stumbled upon the Project Ruth podcast and really like the Rabbis modern-Orthodox, open approach to conversion. I’ve read peoples feedback about that orga program being questioned in some communities. Honestly, any conversion is going to be questioned, I’m not going to drive myself crazy finding the perfect program. I’m active duty military and we’re getting stationed in Europe, which adds a layer of location complexity to this too.

If you’ve made it this far in my novel, thank you 😂. Any feedback, similar experiences, encourage or advice would be greatly helpful.

hi everyone!

i’m based in Manchester and officially starting my converting to Judaism course this September, and over the last year i’ve realised how much i’ve been craving friendship and community with other Jewish women around a similar stage of life.

a lot of spaces can feel hard to break into socially when you’re new, converting, or still finding your place, so i thought i’d try creating the kind of space i was looking for myself.

i’ve started a small Facebook group called Friday Night Girls for Jewish women in their 20s & 30s, especially women who are converting, newly Jewish, reconnecting with Judaism, or simply looking for warmer community and friendship.

Manchester-based, but anyone is welcome ♡

the vibe is very relaxed and genuine:
shabbat inspiration, recipes, honest questions, conversations, encouragement, and hopefully some real friendships too.

if that sounds like something you’d enjoy, you’d be very welcome.

I'm at the very beginning of my journey and have recently sent an email to a nearby synagogue about their classes on Judaism. I want to do what I can to observe Shabbat for the first time tomorrow, as I have managed to get the day off; however, I do not want to be insensitive, as I am not officially a conversion candidate/in classes yet. I have found a resource that is myjewishlearning.com, and wanted to see if it was an acceptable thing to try and observe some amount of traditions and say specific prayers. I have Jewish friends who have been kind and encouraging to me in seeking these things out (they are online friends and not people I know irl), and I wanted to be thorough in how respectful I am with this.

Other than that, I hope to become active on this subreddit as I slowly continue on my journey!. I have considered converting for years and even got near starting the process around 2022. Due to personal life circumstances, I was unable to be in a stable enough place to focus on converting to something that requires so much dedication. It is only now, in 2026, that I have come to fully accept that this is what I want and what I will do. I just started a new job- a good job- and now I finally have the time to study. I'm finally out to coworkers as a woman, and my life is in the best place it has ever been. I want to show and share my gratitude to G-d through this as well.

Also, any additional resources are greatly appreciated!

Hello,

I’m currently a PhD student (F23) at the start of my conversion journey. We have a small community in my university town, but no synagogue so I have to wait for a formal conversion. I’m still deciding between masorti and orthodox, and I’m hoping for some insight from either side.

A bit of personal information, I was taken away from my family by social services in 2020, and haven’t had contact with them in 6 years. As a result, I’ve found mentors and guidance throughout my life in other people, most of them being men. The thing that’s currently stopping me from the conversion to modern orthodoxy is the gender separation for this reason. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life without being able to hug or even touch my mentors, especially since they acted as surrogate parents. Most of my friends are also men, and I’ll be entering an incredibly male dominated field for my career. I cannot imagine not celebrating with the men in my life on my wedding day, and having to dance on the women’s side, which not only would not include my mentors but also highlight the hole in my life of not having female family members around to celebrate me.

I know this sounds really ‘pick me’ but due to my primary abusers being women and being bullied in school, I’ve always found it hard to make longterm female relationships. These relationships would to become the centre of my life if I choose the conversion via orthodox, and even with 6 years of intense therapy, the situation hasn’t really changed. It works the same way really as to why women don’t trust men after a bad experience, except I’m also a woman. Of course, the orthodox conversion comes with its perks and is theologically more aligned with my beliefs, but I just don’t know if I can spend a lifetime without other close relationships with men other than my future husband.

Did anyone else have a similar issue to this? How did they navigate it? I keep bouncing between modern orthodox and conservative and I really don’t know what to do. The chaplain at my university offers some guidance but it would be good to hear from others.