u/Kirbybbhjudd

I still have time to think to do it or not , I am going to be a junior when summer ends . I have grave feeling of impending doom even now I feel it I can’t stand it I know that the whole world is poisoned by evil,evil only wins and the innocent suffers.Nothing won’t change.Unless if we can stop it but that is low but when I am deceased I will still have hope that there is a chance that things will be better after my absence.

Now let’s talk about my personal reasons why I will kill myself one God allowed me to be cursed with a learning disability in the eyes of society I am useless I have a hard time working thus I am useless to society and the workplace.And worst of all I am neurodivergent and I know society won’t treat me that good and I just can’t bare the pain of not being normal it’s like everything is actively working to make me look like a idiot it’s like being in a friend group but everyone been friends forever and you only been friends with them for one second they say inside jokes that you don’t understand, and you will never understand.

I can never fit in even race wise I’m not good enough for ether side I’m not human enough for both I don’t relate to none of them,the whites I’m around can tell that I am not one of them even some of my teachers asked me what I am because they know that I am not one of them. even in elementary school a lot of kids said my blood was tainted and they hurt me physically for what I am even my own best friend made fun of my skin and mixture but I forgive him. We’re still best friends but it hurts .In middle school one guy at my table said that my kind should be put in cages and be kept in a zoo and None of my friends defended me I was alone even friend wise I can never fit in.

High school is not even better either
before summer was here they treated me like a dog a whole group of guys start saying come here boy to me like I am a dog and made fun of my Middle name because it’s not white sounding and try to grab my hair and pull it I am scared to go back to school. I know it is going to be worse when I get out of Highschool because adults teach kids hate. I haven’t felt human in a long time.

I am pathetic mutt that is borderline sped I have no use for society and I will never be missed by society

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