u/KitKat3017

So I need a little help figuring out my sexuality. This has been on my mind for a while now. I'm a female, and I'm physically attracted to men. But I'm sexually attracted to women. I just like the look of a women's body more. But I don't think I would want to be in a relationship with one. And honestly I'm so embarrassed to say this but I don't like guys private parts. It just looks gross to me. When I watch porn I prefer watching lesbian porn cause it turns me on more. So am I bi? Lesbian? Or straight?

So I want to make some friend on Facebook but I don't know how to message someone. Like should I just straight up be like. "Hi would you like to be friends?" or "Hi, how are you?" I know it'll probably be weird and out of nowhere. Cause I wanted to try talking to this one person that I actually friends with on Facebook but I don't actually know them and I only talked to them once. So it'll be weird out of nowhere I just message. So please help. 😭

Sometimes I feel like running away from my home. Like the thoughts have been popping up a lot lately. I just want to get away from everyone I know. I'm tired of the constant fighting. I'm only happy when I'm by myself and where there's quiet. I'm a really sensitive person. So I hate that I'm being called a cry baby for crying when I get upset or frustrated. I normally stay up real late cause it's the only time I really get to myself and I just end up dreading the next day. I always wanted to get my own apartment but with no job it's hard to do that. I just feel like my life is on a constant repeat. Not changing at all the same thing everytime. I want friends, love, and so much more.

Day by day I just been feeling worse. I just feel like everything is the same all the time. All I get to do is babysit. When I'm done doing that I'm just in my room on the phone. Cause that's where I want to be. I'm just bymelf where there's quiet. The times where I think I have friends they always end up abandoning me. They were really my only happiness. My family were always fighting. It just feels like a huge weight is on my chest. I hold my tears in until I'm by myself and no one sees it cause people like to call me a cry baby cause I'm "too sensitive". I have no friends right now I feel like such a loser. I just turned 28. How pathetic is that? I don't hav a job, I still live with my mom. I just want to be happy. 😭