u/Kitchen-Traffic5985

Like many American men, pornography has been a wicked burden on my life. While I have abstained from those perverted videos for about 11 or 12 years now, lustful thoughts boil up in the Old Adam.

Something I’ve done when I feel temptation arise (whether lust, or anger, or pride, or gluttony or etc.) is to do this:

1. Grab your Bible and grab your Book of Concord. I carry both with me.

2. Sit down and open to a random page. Any page. Doesn’t matter. I suppose if you’re particularly curious about Election or Repentance you can go straight to those articles, but any page).

3. Read and check each scripture citation. Pray after each text and ask God to sustain and strengthen your faith in the true doctrine and increase in your purity of life.

4. Continue reading until you’ve forgotten why you even sat down in the first place.

While we can never rid ourselves of sin, I’ve found this a swell method. Blessings and peace friends.

I’m interested in comparative theology, and wanted to get a vibe for which body of Lutherans might be considered the most conservative in either theology or practice.

This isn’t America-specific, so if you have any contender in mind, please share.

Just wanted to give my EO brothers a thank you.

I stumbled on this work called The Way of The Pilgrim and was introducted to the Jesus Prayer. I say and prayed it for 4 hours just now and I have never felt this much peace ever.

Thank you for preserving this treasurer for the church

EDIT: for context, I’m Lutheran

Two days ago I posted here under the title "I think my wife is leaving me because of Memento."

It appears I have caused a bit of consternation as a result.

For that, I would like to apologize. It has been deleted.

First, an apology to the brothers in Memento. It seems I have caused the group to be dishonored in some fashion as a result of my comments. That was wrong, and I am sorry for the hurt my words have caused.

To make this abundantly clear; Memento is not the cause of my current domestic issue. My title was click-baitey. If anything, I should have titled it "I think my wife is leaving me because of ascetic disciplines I am undertaking." That title is much more accurate.

Upon reviewing the documents from the Memento Program, I fully acknowledge that I went well-beyond what the disciplines called for. Even the most rigorous ones I undertook were taken to an extreme level. Personally, that works for me. It is not, and never was, and never will be, what the Memento program and brotherhood calls for or stands on. Anything that I did during Lent was of my own doing.

Second, an apology to the commentors who were offering help. As I re-read, many, many good Christian people were trying to help me. Upon review, it seems I was tone-deaf and argumentative to these genuine offers of help and consolation. I am sorry if it came across as wasting your time. I suppose I am a bit lonely during this season and I was doing a bit of pot-stirring for some interaction and attention. It was wrong of me to take your sincere help and twist it into an argumentative discussion on my part. That is not an excuse for my actions, merely an explanation of my behavior. Which was wrong.

In conclusion, Memento is a good program for Lutheran men. It is not an extremist, ascetic, anti-world sect. I took the disciplines and pushed them into something that it is not. The disciplines, as the designers outline, are for the Christian's good. Simple fasting (not my extreme OMAD regiment), morning and evening prayer with a condensed Matins/Vespers (not my undertaking of the daily office), and a couple of chapters of the Bible a day, (not a whole book and hours of chanting Psalms as I did). Please do not have a negative impression of Memento because of my words. I was going beyond the program into something likely completely unrecognizable to any of the brotherhood. I am sorry for any dishonor or negative impression I may have brought.

I beg for God's forgiveness and yours. I am undeserving of either.

Dr. Cooper recently posted a video on some of the most important Lutheran theologians. I really liked the section on Abraham Cavlov.

Does anyone know if any of his work has been translated into English?

I'm a cradle Lutheran. I grew up in a pretty moderate congregation of the ELCA where Lutheran distinctives were never taught. Around the time I met my future wife I was pretty much just a generic Christian - but I was starting to be more interested in Lutheran theology and practice.

She was never really interested in religion in any meaningful sense. She attended a historically-fundementalistic church that was in the process of moderating into more of a non-denominational style and theology. She would read the Bible from time to time and pray with me, but her primary interests are watching TV and making cute arts and crafts projects..

Eventually, I found myself in an LCMS congregation, and I would repeatedly try and teach her from the catechisms and the Book of Concord, but she was never interested in theology.

Her congregation, essentially, fell apart. There were 3 main pastors at her church. One retired. One became a missionary. And one remained by the time she stopped attending. The one new pastor was an exile from the liberalism of one of the mainline denominations (he also had a lot of Reformed leanings, but I think he was from the UCC or UMC). During his sermons, he would peach exegetically and directly from the text, tying in history and various church traditions. I enjoyed it. Her family hated it. They would say that they could not follow the "big words" that he used. He used words like "justification" and "eschatology" and took pains to make sure that he clearly defined what they meant before continuing, as a teacher of the Word should do if he feels some people might not understand the jargon. Another new pastor who was brought on was more academic and from Dallas Theological Seminary. He was a little more jargony, but very Southern and down to earth. They hated his preaching as well and thought that preaching should only be topical, never exegetical. I attempted to lead a Bible study on preaching, but they rejected what I was trying to tell them. My mother in law explicitly saying "I know what I like - thank you" and then turned on one of the Real Housewives shows while I was trying to lead the Bible study.

Eventually my wife and I got married and started to attend different churches entirely. She only occasionally attended the Lutheran church while I had previously been expected to attend both the Lutheran and her church. Once I had a better understanding of church fellowship I decided it was best to only attend the service of a church which I fully held to the belief's of (LCMS). She was not happy with this, and she refused to attend the LCMS after I explained the doctrine of closed communion. I tried to let her know that it didn't mean she couldn't attend, but simply that she couldn't commune. From around that point she would sporadically go to her own church despite the preaching she didn't enjoy.

Already longer story short, COVID happened, she stopped going to church due to health issues related to her mother, and one of the pastor's got caught stealing money from the church. All of this left a bad taste in her mouth. I continued being an LCMS Lutheran, reading the Bible, studying theology, and attempting to pray with her. Around 2023 she started refusing to pray with me at all, saying "I don't need to do that with you." Which hurt.

I joined Memento in 2026 as many other LCMS men did. I took the fasting rules as seriously as I could. I let her know the expectations of the program and she laughed at me and rolled her eyes. She made comments about how "this religion is silly." I responded that "Christ's religion is very serious" and she got mad and wouldn't talk to me for 2 days. I conducted an OMAD fast every day, making sure we could have dinner together. She was disgusted that I only had one meal a day. I tried to show her the scriptures the importance of fasting and she actually slapped the Bible out of my hand and told me "I don't want to hear about that." I limited myself to only essential cell phone usage. She became irate that we lost our snap and tiktok streaks. I tried to explain to her about the vanity of these trivial wordly things from the book of Ecclesiastes and how God's truth should have the highest importance in life. She became so mad she locked herself in the bathroom for 2 hours and was crying, inconsolable. When I made it clear I wouldn't be watching TV during Lent she threw the remote at the TV and shattered it. This was Ash Wednesday after I returned from church. Then she demanded that I buy a new one. I told her the money would be much better spent on offerings for the church and that it would probably be more appropriate for her to purchase a TV since she broke it. At that point she walked away and didn't speak to me for two weeks. Once she eventually started speaking to me again she told me that I needed to "tone down the religion stuff." And I told her I wanted to take "the faith one delivered to the saints more seriously." And she asked "What's a saint?" As I tried to explain she got more angry and left the room.

Everything came to a head on Easter Sunday. The plans were to have our families over for Easter dinner at 2pm. I let her know this was a nice idea, and I would be at church for Easter sunrise service at 7am and would be back in time to help. She was mad because "I wouldn't be around to help." I was a little perplexed, as I was planning on being back by 9:30am and she wasn't planning on waking up until 11am. I told her I would be going and I would get whatever needed done before I left. She simply scowled at me and I returned to reading the Bible. She sat across from me and scowled for 45 minutes. I tried to ask if she needed anything or if she wanted to play a game or something, but she would not speak and would only scowl.

I returned from church and woke her up as planned and she asked "did you go to church this morning?" I told her "yes." And she became mad and said "well, then just don't bother helping since you don't want to be around me anyway." I was deeply confused and tried to assuage her and let her know that I did want to help, and I wasn't really sure what the issue was since I had returned in plenty of time to help, and had already prepared 2 desserts and had 3 cassaroles and chili mixed up and cooking by the time she had woken up. She stormed into the bathroom and was yelling at me through the door to just "spend the rest of the day in the shed and pray or whatever." My shed is where my home altar is. She doesn't like religious paintings and iconography in the house for whatever reason. So I went to the shed and chanted Psalms for about an hour. I noticed her mother had arrived to help so I tried to go inside to see if I could be of some use. I was told by my mother-in-law that "it's probably best if you don't come into the house." So I went back to the shed and read from the Prophet Jeremiah. Once it was about the scheduled dinner time my wife calls me into the house. I enter and say the prayer and eat and we have good conversation and family time until about 5pm. I suggested praying the Vespers service together in honor of Christ our Lord. Her side of the family is generally disgusted by the idea of written prayers, but my side of the family thought praying was a good idea. So we joined in singing the liturgy with me leading and my wife glared at me the whole time. A visiting Aunt on her side of the family was struck by the words of the Gospel and had something of a conversion experience and "asked Jesus into her heart." I told the woman "the Lord already lives there through faith, and it has made you justified before God." My wife left the room at this comment.

Later in the evening after everyone had left around 7pm I tried to find my wife. She was locked in the bathroom crying. I tried to talk with her but she kept shouting at me to go away. She came out about 9pm, packed a bag without saying a word, and left the house at 10pm.

I have tried to call, text, email both her and her mother and I haven't gotten a response at all. I don't know where she is and I'm not sure what to do. She has rejected any pastoral counseling or even secular counseling in any form.

The title is a little click-baitey, I know. I don't blame Memento or anything for what's happened. But it appears that my intentional spiritual formation is what has driven her away from me. I also have a great sense of peace that the Lord is working in my life through the disciplines Memento.

I suppose that means pruning off the dead branches from my life.