u/Kitchen_Raccoon24

i couldn’t decide if this was a seeking support and advice post or an off my chest post cause it’s gonna be a lot of venting but i would genuinely love some support and advice, this is gonna be a long post.

i’ve posted here before about how i was unsure if i even had bpd because i didn’t have an fp but now i’m pretty sure what i’m feeling towards one of the orientation leaders is just me forming an fp now so that’s great… she’s super nice and cool she liked the same show i do which is pretty rare in my country and she’s so fun to talk to i ended up chatting with her and a few of her friends who were the other orientation leaders for like two hours after the school tour ended.

I felt so envious that they were all so close i hate trying to befriend a friend group cause it’s like they’ve had years to bond while im just some new kid they just kinda “adopted”, i also wrote like two msgs around four lines long each to the girl thanking her for guiding me around school and for letting me hangout with her group as well as hoping she’d get well soon (she was sick during the tour) and that i hope to see her around school too and it’s been like two days and she hasn’t responded which makes me feel like such a clingy dumbass for immediately latching on to someone who was just doing their volunteer job… i haven’t really texted the other two girls since one of them hasn’t even followed me back on insta which i feel like is a sign that they don’t rlly wanna be friends? idk

That’s just situation one, the second thing is that i’m going to an art school so i need supplies and since im fresh out of normal school i don’t have a lot of the art supplies like cutting mats etc so i need to get them school starts literally next week i have like four days to get everything i need and my mother has flat out refused to go shopping with me to get everything, im pretty young (barely 18) i work a minimum wage job and i don’t have the money to get everything since i can’t save up all that much all my money goes into my future savings and my meals since i don’t get pocket money from my parents. she’s saying it’s not her problem and that she doesn’t care (this is normal nothing about me is her problem go figure why i have bpd and half a dozen other mental issues)

I don’t know if she’s really not going to get the stuff or if she’s just in a mood she does this every other month or so, it’s just so stressful, she’s just saying “i don’t give you” and “what you going to do” like fuck idk kms? i’m tired and stressed and i have no one to talk to, i’m not allowed to have a therapist again because she thinks i’m dramatic and it’s fine so i genuinely have no help again i’m so scared i need these things for school and i don’t know if i can’t use the money i have saved cause if i do i might be out of luck for meals so i might be starving the next week in school (this isn’t to ask for monetary help i will refuse it anyway).

Im so scared i’ll be the only kid with like nothing no supplies or anything i don’t even have more stationary other than my old school stuff from last year which isn’t in the best condition. i’m going to like a private kind of school so it’s all international kids that can afford the tuition and a few scholarship kids that get given the stuff anyway so i’m just really stressed about it now. I’ve been a wreck for the last hour and i genuinely feel sick again.

hey i’m interested in learning more about the culture and i’ve noticed that a lot of the styles are similar to indian and middle eastern makeup but i wanted to know if they used the same products as roma do or if there was any difference in products and how they acquired them