u/Kryptonite_0510

Trigger warning: Child abuse

Hi everyone. I am 28F and feel like my life is falling apart. I was diagnosed in December and have been working with a neuropsychologist and an OT.

Until July I was in the best relationship. To the point that some of my childhood was being unlocked. The unfortunate truth is that the trauma was being unlocked too. I was abused as a child by my mother. She was horrible. I remember being locked in the bathroom for hours and coped by hitting my head. I was in survival mode this year because of unemployment and triggering memories. Because of this, I started coping in the ways I used to as a child. My relationship crumbled and I have been losing it. He was my safe person.

Recently I started having more memories. I blocked out memories from before I was 11. The person that made me feel safest was my dad's sister, I considered her to be my real mother. She died when I was 11. I then blocked out memories of her and the trauma to protect ne from the loss. All the memories are flooding back and my safe person is avoiding me. He is the only person that made me feel as safe as my aunt.

I am feeling so alone. I thought healing would be liberating but it is so painful and lonely.

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For some context; I lost my job last year, I was diagnosed in December, went through the emotions (still am), got obsessed with looking for a job, took a break, all my past traumas started resurfacing, my long term partner got really overwhelmed with university, my emotions and his diagnosis (he started feeling down and I could no longer help) and finally he broke up with me last week. I don't blame him, circumstances were bad and I think we need space to deal with our mental health. The only hope I have had this year is that there is a chance that we can work it out.

Now to the actual point. During this time, I have been super sad and I just need people to talk to even if it about clouds or something random. I feel like that is the support I need. My family is trying there utmost best but they don't understand how I process. Some of my former partners' family claim to be here for me but they seem to blame me (I'm not ready to say ex and don't believe its the end and neither does my therapist). His sister said I need to fix the issues I caused even though we both struggled and that I need to move on. His mum said that I need to get over the trauma with my mother, that I am narcissistic and that I dump on people. On the bright side, his mum thinks we can work it out buuuut its my fault. I called a friend of mine. He put me on speaker with his gf and they basically mocked me for having hope and for believing there are good guys. The relationship I had was so healthy until it got too difficult, he ticked all the boxes.

This all has taught me I have 3 friends, one of which is neurodivergent. I feel so lonely since people I thought cared, don't and the ones that do actually care don't understand.

Hi, Charlotte! (And all my fellow potatoes.)

For context, I'm a mechanical engineer from South Africa, and this was my very first engineering job after graduating.

I absolutely loved the job. It was a four-day work week, I got to travel overseas for training, and I genuinely thought I'd found somewhere I could build a career.

The only catch? I'm autistic.

I was diagnosed after I started working, but looking back, a lot of my autistic traits were already there. I struggle with social cues, can come across as blunt without meaning to, prefer clear communication, and can get overwhelmed in certain situations. I always tried my best, asked questions when I wasn't sure, and worked hard.

Then everything changed.

Over time, I started getting the feeling that parts of my personality weren't just being noticed—they were becoming a problem.

Eventually, I was let go.

The reasons I was given weren't poor technical performance. Instead, they centered around the very traits I now know are related to my autism. It left me feeling like I wasn't fired because I couldn't do the job—I was fired because my brain works differently.

I still wonder if I could have done anything differently, but another part of me thinks... should I have had to?

Fast-forward eight months.

The South African job market has absolutely humbled me.

I have a good engineering degree, overseas training, experience, and what I thought was a decent CV. Apparently, the job market looked at all of that and collectively said, "No thanks."

I've accidentally become the neurospicy stereotype in the meantime. I collect rocks. I'm mildly obsessed with dinosaurs. I own enough yarn to survive several economic recessions because I started sewing and crocheting again to keep my anxiety under control.

I even tried starting a tutoring business.

Reader...

It flopped.

Not a cute little flop. A dramatic, cinematic, slow-motion flop. I lost my clients before I even got properly started, and now my website is basically an expensive digital paperweight.

The cruel irony is that all the hobbies keeping me mentally afloat also cost money.

My partner and I are making it work, but finances have been rough. He's still a student, so we're both trying to navigate adulthood with significantly less money than we'd like and significantly more stress than we'd ordered.

I guess my question is...

Am I overreacting for feeling like I wasn't given a fair chance? Or is it reasonable to feel that firing someone over autistic traits—rather than their ability to do the actual job—isn't okay?

Hi there, so I was diagnosed in December and am still getting used everything. The burnout is a lot to deal with and so is the emotional aspects. The one thing that has been bothering me is friendships. I feel like I do most of the work (maybe because people-ing is really not easy to me). It seems like I cross boundaries or and annoying but I wouldn't know without clear communication. I also feel like I am kept at an arms length and get excluded often. I am a little odd but it's mostly with friends I am comfortable with.

Does anyone feel like they have no real friends? Or are a bad friend? Or do you find that you don't know how to actually be a friend?

Hi everyone,

I lost my job in October. It was an interesting experience. I really enjoyed the job until I was sent overseas for training. I was treated really poorly and lies were told about me. I came back early to be given a "retrenchment notice" which listed a bunch of lies (basically complaints about me being autistic). Unfortunately, I was only officially diagnosed 2 months later. I got a package and left without issues.

I have since been unemployed for 7 months. For a bit of background, I have a lot of experience in administrative roles and a degree in Mechanical engineering. All of this means nothing. I have been told that I am over qualified for grad roles and under qualified for junior roles. So I am stuck. I run a small tutoring business that isn't doing well at the moment and I am completing an online course. I have seen people say that you can tweak your CV but I find that hard to do. Other than that, I don't really know where to go from there. I feel like I have done all the right things, I have tried so hard to make myself into a good candidate and it feels like it was for nothing. Advice or assistance would vent welcome.

P.s. if anyone needs a tutor or is hiring, Im available.