Am I being too sensitive or is my stepdad the problem?
Hello, I am a 23 year old female and I would be described as someone who is a very sensitive person. I feel things very deeply and have a hard time not taking things to heart. (especially when it’s family) My Stepdad has been in my life since I was 2 years old and has been somewhat in and out of my life due to repeated addiction problems.
Recently he just got sober and has been doing well for himself. However, I have noticed that more recently he has been hostile and mean to me almost every day. Just a few minutes ago I went to talk to my sister (his biological kid) about some stuff that she has been struggling with and wanted to ask if there was anything I can do to help, long story short, we talk and I leave her room feeling like a good sister. My dad then made a comment as I was heading back to my room for the night, he said “If I ever catch you giving your sister cannabis I will put sugar in your gas tank and you won’t be able to go anywhere.” right out of the blue. For context yes I have smoked cannabis before and have just recently quit because I am starting post secondary school soon and can’t afford more, to which I have told him that I am quitting and even got rid of all my cannabis.
I feel like he threatened me for no good reason and very much out of the blue. And to add more evidence to the folder, earlier today I was driving him and I to work when he asked if he could stop at the gas station to get something to drink to which I said okay and stoped at the gas station. After about 3 minutes he comes back and immediately accuses me of going through his backpack when I didn’t even touch it. He got so angry at me and yelled at me not to touch his stuff despite me saying that I didn’t touch his bag. He constantly yells at me and guilt trips me into feeling like I’m the problem especially if there is something wrong with my sister and I don’t notice. He has called me selfish for wanting to go get my medicine after driving him around all day because he doesn’t have a drivers license and my sister wanted to go to town and get something but I was just too tired and just wanted to get my medicine. On multiple occasions he comments on what I eat, how much I eat, or whenever I go into the kitchen. He never does this to my sister only to me.
It has gotten to the point where I have started to blame myself and put myself down. I have talked to him on several occasions telling him how I feel when he does these things but he never apologizes or changes his behaviour. I have never felt so sad and angry at the same time. I want to tell him to go to hell and to leave me alone and find his own way to work if he is going to treat me the way he has been treating me but I’m terrified of him lashing out and making my life a living hell.
I don’t have an option to move out or stay with a friend as I don’t make enough money to afford to live in my own. I feel like I’m trapped and have no where to go. I don’t know how much longer I can take this, it’s destroying my self esteem, my mental health, and my relationship with my family. I’m constantly isolated from them because I don’t want to be around my dad. So am I just being too sensitive, or is my stepdad the problem.
Thanks for reading.