u/Laflowerdumal

Hi everyone,

I’m (F28) at my breaking point with the hirsutism and could really use some honest advice (and real experiences).

My chin and body hair has gotten way worse over the past 3-4 years and is now completely unmanageable. In the last two years I’ve basically grown a full beard, and I even have hair on my butt now. I’m blonde with extremely sensitive skin, so my options for hair removal are already limited.

I’m currently doing electrolysis, but I’m starting to feel like it’s pointless if the underlying hormone issues are still this aggressive. The hair just keeps coming back stronger.

I’ve never been on birth control and I’m seriously considering it now just to manage the symptoms, but it scares the hell out of me. I’m worried about:

•  Weight gain

•  Hair loss (which is already happening but I’m scared it gets worse)

•  Increased cancer risk

•  Just trading one set of symptoms for a whole new set

Things I’ve already tried that didn’t help:

•  Myo-inositol

•  NAC

•  Magnesium

•  Ashwagandha

•  Spearmint tea

•  Losing 20 kg

•  berberine

•  metformine

Nothing has made a real difference. At this point birth control feels like the only option left, but the fear of side effects is holding me back.

I’d especially love to hear from women who have used birth control specifically to fight PCOS symptoms (especially hirsutism).

What pill did you take? Did it actually help with the facial/body hair? How bad were the side effects? Did the benefits outweigh the risks for you? Any regrets or things you wish you’d known beforehand?

PCOS has been a constant battle and it’s honestly wearing me down. Any advice or personal experiences would mean a lot.

I feel like things are just getting worse and worse, and I can’t find a solution. I feel like it will soon affect my relationship as I even started experiencing vaginal dryness since this summer and the hair on my bottom is making me even more self conscious… Thank you so much for any advice !!

Hello everyone,

I am looking for outside, objective opinions on a situation involving my husband (M29), a therapist-in-training (M28), and myself (F27).

My husband and I were going through some marital difficulties. He suggested I consult the therapist he was already seeing individually. This practitioner happens to be a friend from my husband's social circle. He is not yet licensed (still a student) and offers his sessions at a friendly rate.

We agreed to do these sessions online via Discord for a "friend price." To be honest, this setup really suited me at first because it was the only realistic way for me to see a therapist. I have extremely little time in my daily life to travel and see a practitioner in real life, so we just jumped into it. I agreed to the process.

During the consultations, the practitioner would generally spend about 10 minutes listening to me, and then launch into a 40-minute monologue on general theory (stress, social anxiety), without ever digging into my personal situation. When I expressed my reservations to my husband about this method, he told me it was up to me to assert myself and refocus the sessions.

During our last consultation, I brought up a recent conflict with my husband with the goal of working on managing my own emotions. The practitioner interrupted me and spent 40 minutes telling me to leave my husband. I took notes of his exact words:

"Wishing for this rs to get better well thats not gonna happen , its extremely unlikely that it gonna get better for the future"

"Currently you’re in your youth you most definitely shouldnt waste those years with somebody you aren't solid about it, being passionnate about them, wishing for that to occur is pointless, lot of things can be improved in a rs, but things are fixable when there is a strong fondation, there isnt that foundation for you guys in this rs, therapist we are really careful about saying that, we dont want to influence but the reality is sometimes 2 people cannot make it work, you have to not get into that pattern wishing things would get better, otherwise it gonna happen again and again"

"Ive also had conversations with him of the similar nature, hes also thinking about this rd and the future, hes also having different thoughts and i told him the same things as i told you, i told him what my advices is for him. i told him how to proceed i told him to think about him when enough is enough. And furthermore i told him sit down think about it and set yourself a timeline of when enough would be enough, quiet litteraly chronologicaly"

"You have to question when is time its not worth to fight anymore. Im seeing 2 people unique both on their ways but im not sure seeing 2 people who are right for each other"

"You cannot provide him passion and connection because you are not compatible"

Upon reading these notes, a friend of mine (who had no idea this practitioner is not straight) immediately pointed out that this rhetoric sounded like personal jealousy and a clear attempt to sabotage my marriage. On top of that, the practitioner explicitly shared with me the confidential content and advice he gives my husband during their private sessions, completely breaching professional confidentiality.

I sent a brief message to notify him that I was permanently stopping the therapy. The practitioner replied to me in private with a long text message, claiming that my departure was "a lesson" for me, that I was incapable of communicating honestly, and that I would encounter this issue with every therapist and in all my future relationships if I didn't change my mindset.

Afterwards, he posted an "OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT" on our shared couple's therapy text group to publicize my departure. In that same public message, he tagged my husband to let him know he was keeping his slot open for him.

I laid out the situation to my husband, explaining his friend's complete lack of ethical neutrality, the possibility of a personal involvement or attraction on his part, and I demanded that he stop seeing him, both as a therapist and as a friend, to protect our marriage.

Since that discussion, tensions have severely escalated. My husband took his friend's side. He has adopted a distant, cold, and hostile attitude toward me.

What are your thoughts on handling this situation, both regarding this practitioner's misconduct and what steps to take next in my marriage?

TL;DR: My husband (M29) had me (F27) do couple's therapy via Discord with an unlicensed student therapist (M28) from his friend group for a cheap price. The therapist broke confidentiality and pressured me to leave my husband. When I quit our session, the therapist lashed out, and my husband took his friend's side, becoming completely cold and hostile toward me. Looking for advice on this misconduct and my marriage.

Bonjour à tous,

Je cherche des avis extérieurs et objectifs sur une situation complexe impliquant mon mari (H29), une personne en cours d'études dans le domaine de la psychologie (H28), et moi-même (F27).

Mon mari et moi traversions des difficultés de couple. Il m'a proposé de consulter le thérapeute qu'il voyait déjà en individuel. Ce praticien est un ami du groupe de connaissances de mon mari. Il n'est pas encore diplômé (il est en cours d'études) et proposait un tarif amical.

Nous avons accepté de faire ces séances en ligne via Discord pour un "prix d'ami". Pour être honnête, ce format nous arrangeait énormément au départ car c'était la seule solution réaliste pour moi de voir un psy. J'ai extrêmement peu de temps dans mon quotidien pour me déplacer et consulter en cabinet, alors nous avons foncé. J'ai donc accepté la démarche.

Lors des consultations, il consacrait généralement 10 minutes à m'écouter, puis enchaînait sur un monologue d'environ 40 minutes portant sur des généralités théoriques (le stress, l'anxiété sociale), sans jamais approfondir ma situation personnelle. Lorsque j'ai exprimé mes réserves à mon mari sur cette méthode, celui-ci m'a répondu que c'était à moi de m'imposer et de recadrer les séances.

Lors de la dernière consultation, j'ai évoqué un conflit récent avec mon mari dans le but de travailler sur la gestion de mes propres émotions. Le praticien a interrompu ma démarche et a tenu un discours de 40 minutes m'enjoignant de quitter mon mari. Voici les propos exacts que j'ai relevés :

Il m'a d'abord dit : « Espérer que cette relation s'améliore, eh bien ça n'arrivera pas, il est extrêmement peu probable que ça s'améliore à l'avenir. »

Puis il a enchaîné : « Actuellement tu es dans ta jeunesse, tu ne devrais très certainement pas gâcher ces années avec quelqu'un dont tu n'es pas sûre. Être passionnée par lui, espérer que cela se produise est inutile. Beaucoup de choses peuvent être améliorées dans une relation, mais les choses sont réparables quand il y a une base solide. Il n'y a pas cette base pour vous deux dans cette relation. Nous, les thérapeutes, faisons vraiment attention en disant cela, nous ne voulons pas influencer, mais la réalité est que parfois deux personnes ne peuvent pas y arriver. Tu ne dois pas entrer dans ce schéma d'espérer que les choses s'automédiquent ou s'améliorent, sinon ça se reproduira encore et encore. »

Il a aussi ajouté : « J'ai aussi eu des conversations avec lui de nature similaire, il réfléchit aussi à cette relation et à l'avenir, il a aussi des pensées différentes et je lui ai dit les mêmes choses qu'à toi, je lui ai dit quels sont mes conseils pour lui. Je lui ai dit comment procéder, je lui ai dit de penser à lui quand "assez c'est assez". Et de plus, je lui ai dit de s'asseoir, d'y réfléchir et de se fixer une date limite, une chronologie de quand "assez serait assez", littéralement de manière chronologique. »

Il a continué en disant : « Tu devrais te demander à quel moment cela ne vaut plus la peine de se battre. Je vois deux personnes uniques chacune à leur manière, mais je ne suis pas sûr de voir deux personnes qui sont faites l'une pour l'autre. »

Et enfin : « Tu ne peux pas lui apporter de passion et de connexion parce que vous n'êtes pas compatibles. »

En lisant ces notes, une amie (qui ignorait les préférences de ce praticien) m'a immédiatement fait remarquer que ce discours s'apparentait à de la jalousie personnelle et à une tentative flagrante de sabotage de mon couple de la part de cet ami. De plus, ce praticien a explicitement partagé avec moi le contenu et les conseils confidentiels qu'il donne à mon mari lors de ses séances individuelles, rompant ainsi totalement le secret professionnel.

J'ai envoyé un message court pour notifier l'arrêt définitif de mon suivi. Il m'a répondu en privé par un long message textuel très agressif, affirmant que mon départ était « une leçon » pour moi, que j'étais incapable de communiquer de manière honnête, et que je rencontrerais ce problème avec tous les thérapeutes et dans toutes mes relations futures si je ne changeais pas de mentalité.

Par la suite, il a publié une « ANNONCE OFFICIELLE » en majuscules sur le groupe écrit de notre thérapie de couple pour afficher mon arrêt. Dans ce même message public, il a tagué mon mari pour lui indiquer qu'il gardait son créneau ouvert pour lui.

J'ai exposé la situation à mon mari en lui expliquant le manque de neutralité déontologique total de son ami, la possibilité d'une implication personnelle ou d'une attirance de sa part, et j'ai exigé qu'il cesse de le consulter ou de le fréquenter pour préserver notre mariage.

Depuis cette discussion, les tensions ont fortement augmenté. Mon mari a pris le parti de son ami. Il a adopté une attitude distante, froide et hostile à mon égard, et le dialogue est complètement rompu à la maison.

Quels sont vos avis sur la gestion de cette situation, tant sur le plan de la dérive de ce praticien que sur la suite à donner à ma relation de couple ?

Hello everyone,

I am looking for outside, objective opinions on a situation involving my husband (M29), a therapist-in-training (M28), and myself (F27).

My husband and I were going through some marital difficulties. He suggested I consult the therapist he was already seeing individually. This practitioner happens to be a friend from my husband's social circle. He is not yet licensed (still a student) and offers his sessions at a friendly rate.

We agreed to do these sessions online via Discord for a "friend price." To be honest, this setup really suited me at first because it was the only realistic way for me to see a therapist. I have extremely little time in my daily life to travel and see a practitioner in real life, so we just jumped into it. I agreed to the process.

During the consultations, the practitioner would generally spend about 10 minutes listening to me, and then launch into a 40-minute monologue on general theory (stress, social anxiety), without ever digging into my personal situation. When I expressed my reservations to my husband about this method, he told me it was up to me to assert myself and refocus the sessions.

During our last consultation, I brought up a recent conflict with my husband with the goal of working on managing my own emotions. The practitioner interrupted me and spent 40 minutes telling me to leave my husband. I took notes of his exact words:

"Wishing for this rs to get better well thats not gonna happen , its extremely unlikely that it gonna get better for the future"

"Currently you’re in your youth you most definitely shouldnt waste those years with somebody you aren't solid about it, being passionnate about them, wishing for that to occur is pointless, lot of things can be improved in a rs, but things are fixable when there is a strong fondation, there isnt that foundation for you guys in this rs, therapist we are really careful about saying that, we dont want to influence but the reality is sometimes 2 people cannot make it work, you have to not get into that pattern wishing things would get better, otherwise it gonna happen again and again"

"Ive also had conversations with him of the similar nature, hes also thinking about this rd and the future, hes also having different thoughts and i told him the same things as i told you, i told him what my advices is for him. i told him how to proceed i told him to think about him when enough is enough. And furthermore i told him sit down think about it and set yourself a timeline of when enough would be enough, quiet litteraly chronologicaly"

"You have to question when is time its not worth to fight anymore. Im seeing 2 people unique both on their ways but im not sure seeing 2 people who are right for each other"

"You cannot provide him passion and connection because you are not compatible"

Upon reading these notes, a friend of mine (who had no idea this practitioner is not straight) immediately pointed out that this rhetoric sounded like personal jealousy and a clear attempt to sabotage my marriage. On top of that, the practitioner explicitly shared with me the confidential content and advice he gives my husband during their private sessions, completely breaching professional confidentiality.

I sent a brief message to notify him that I was permanently stopping the therapy. The practitioner replied to me in private with a long text message, claiming that my departure was "a lesson" for me, that I was incapable of communicating honestly, and that I would encounter this issue with every therapist and in all my future relationships if I didn't change my mindset.

Afterwards, he posted an "OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT" on our shared couple's therapy text group to publicize my departure. In that same public message, he tagged my husband to let him know he was keeping his slot open for him.

I laid out the situation to my husband, explaining his friend's complete lack of ethical neutrality, the possibility of a personal involvement or attraction on his part, and I demanded that he stop seeing him, both as a therapist and as a friend, to protect our marriage.

Since that discussion, tensions have severely escalated. My husband took his friend's side. He has adopted a distant, cold, and hostile attitude toward me.

What are your thoughts on handling this situation, both regarding this practitioner's misconduct and what steps to take next in my marriage?

TL;DR: My husband (M29) had me (F27) do couple's therapy via Discord with an unlicensed student therapist (M28) from his friend group for a cheap price. The therapist broke confidentiality and pressured me to leave my husband. When I quit our session, the therapist lashed out, and my husband took his friend's side, becoming completely cold and hostile toward me. Looking for advice on this misconduct and my marriage.