u/LambBiryaniPlease

I blew my XFA before receiving a payout, I would have been able to get a payout the day after tomorrow.

But I wanted to make $400 for the day, I was already up $200.

I need money, I am a student and don't have much savings!!

Fuckkkk!! What a stupid idiot I am. I was trading 1 or 2 MNQs only, but then I had 2 losers in a row and I switched to NQ, entered with 1 NQ, then averaged with another, I lost the account as I blew the loss limit!!

Ughhhh!!

I am so fucking fed up with myself!! Utter shit behaviour. I got one payout a couple months ago, but I gave away all that payout money into fucking combines.

Every time it's the same thing, once I hit a couple losing trades, I want to make it back instantly, and like a fucking bozo I switch to NQ and lose it all.

What a fucking piece of shit idiot!!

Now if I buy one combine with daily loss limit, that'll be $85, which is currently tight for me, I can afford it, but it'll put me in a tight spot. And it'll be at least one month till I get a payout, that is if I do $400 a day.

I'm looking for part-time jobs as well, but haven't got anything so far!!

Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, I am so disappointed!!

I'm 22, male, turning 23 in August.

My parents left me with my grandparents and uncle/aunt whom I grew up with when I was a month old and moved abroad, my parents came back when I was 17 years old, and they then took me abroad with them.

My parents were very controlling and narcissistic, they used to constantly shout at me, call me names, try to control minute things like why did I keep the chopping board horizontally instead of vertically (yes, I used to get yelled at for this kind of stuff). There's a few really toxic things that they have done which I don't want to mention here, but all in all, the environment was very toxic. Now the situation is better but nothing great, I stand up for myself now, which I earlier couldn't.

I was in my 1st year of university when I was with my grandparents and uncle/aunt. I was a sharp kid, great grades in school, gold medals in regional math olympiads, solid extracurriculars, etc etc. Then when my parents took me with them, they refused to pay for my education and I had to go to government funded school again for 2 years.

I desperately wanted to escape from the toxic environment. I tried a bunch of stuff, started working warehouse night shifts, worked in a supermarket, did postal sorting, tried starting businesses I had no knowledge of, alongside school.

Nothing worked like I wanted it to, and I was at an extremely low point in my life, everything cumulatively had taken a huge toll on me and I was extremely obese, tremendously depressed, unemployed, and felt suicidal every single day. I'm glad that I have made it out alive, and somewhat shocked as well at that fact, because that wasn't looking possible at that time.

Fast forward to today,

I cleared a few exams and got into university for computer science, recently completed my second year and will graduate in May 2027. If I work hard in my third year, which I will, I will graduate with very good grades.

I worked where I could have and have built a very small savings, nothing too meaningful.

I have lost a ton of weight and am at 26/27% body fat, I have decent bit of muscle as well. I'm still fat of course, but I'm losing that.

.

I'm still fat, in university when other people who were in my school with me have started working, don't have a job currently, don't have a gf, don't have a car or licence.

I feel behind in my life, and lost.

I'm not complaining about life, I want to be a better person and turn my life around. I want to build myself physically, financially, academically, and socially. But sometimes my thoughts go out of my control, and I spiral down the rabbit hole.

Please share any advice you have. Thank you!!

I'm 22, male, turning 23 in August.

My parents left me with my grandparents and uncle/aunt whom I grew up with when I was a month old and moved abroad, my parents came back when I was 17 years old, and they then took me abroad with them.

My parents were very controlling and narcissistic, they used to constantly shout at me, call me names, try to control minute things like why did I keep the chopping board horizontally instead of vertically (yes, I used to get yelled at for this kind of stuff). There's a few really toxic things that they have done which I don't want to mention here, but all in all, the environment was very toxic. Now the situation is better but nothing great, I stand up for myself now, which I earlier couldn't.

I was in my 1st year of university when I was with my grandparents and uncle/aunt. I was a sharp kid, great grades in school, gold medals in regional math olympiads, solid extracurriculars, etc etc. Then when my parents took me with them, they refused to pay for my education and I had to go to government funded school again for 2 years.

I desperately wanted to escape from the toxic environment. I tried a bunch of stuff, started working warehouse night shifts, worked in a supermarket, did postal sorting, tried starting businesses I had no knowledge of, alongside school.

Nothing worked like I wanted it to, and I was at an extremely low point in my life, everything cumulatively had taken a huge toll on me and I was extremely obese, tremendously depressed, unemployed, and felt suicidal every single day. I'm glad that I have made it out alive, and somewhat shocked as well at that fact, because that wasn't looking possible at that time.

Fast forward to today,

I cleared a few exams and got into university for computer science, recently completed my second year and will graduate in May 2027. If I work hard in my third year, which I will, I will graduate with very good grades.

I worked where I could have and have built a very small savings, nothing too meaningful.

I have lost a ton of weight and am at 26/27% body fat, I have decent bit of muscle as well. I'm still fat of course, but I'm losing that.

.

I'm still fat, in university when other people who were in my school with me have started working, don't have a job currently, don't have a gf, don't have a car or licence.

I feel behind in my life, and lost.

I'm not complaining about life, I want to be a better person and turn my life around. I want to build myself physically, financially, academically, and socially. But sometimes my thoughts go out of my control, and I spiral down the rabbit hole.

Please share any advice you have. Thank you!!