u/LanRemeau

That's it. I'm not really all that impaired by it, and were I to stop, I would not even experience that bad of a withdrawal. And, through it all, the person I seem to be hurting the most is myself. I still do a good job at work, and never use during working hours, but it still bothers the fuck out of me, especially because I'm supposed to be a model for recovery

I know these are all rationalizations, but it's just so difficult to get past it. I just love getting high, and there's no other area in my life wherr I find a similar feeling of freedom, relaxation, and contentment.

I'm not really looking for advice or anything. I just wanted to get it off my chest, in the hopes that writing it down and expressing it would bring a change in perspective. I'm terrified of getting caught, and I know it can't continue if I want to continue with this line of work.

Anyways, peace ✌️

It just seems all I see today is art/performances from rich nepo babies who were basically groomed for that life. To me, it's just incredibly boring and sad. Mainly because it essentially silences a large variety of voices that would certainly be worth hearing. It's even prevalent in the indie community, a place that used to be a haven for unsung artists. It just seems that in the past, there was greater oppurtunity for "regular people" to actually have their voices heard within those spheres.

I'm not exactly mad at the artists themselves, but rather the economic forces that make it so difficult (if not downright impossible) for hardworking artists to actually break through that cracks.

It just seems like something someone could easily make up to sound special or unique. Does anyone here experience it? Is it similar to a hallucination or just something that one imagines?