Chapter 10: The Weight of Goodbye (Hello friends, I hope you're doing well. Here is Chapter 10. I hope you like it.)
The last two years had completely transformed my world. Juno and I had finally reached an equilibrium; although his personality remained just as volatile and cynical as it was on day one, he was no longer a foreign presence invading my thoughts. At first, hearing his constant voice was tedious and disconcerting, but now I found myself enjoying his sarcastic remarks and dark humor in the midst of training. He had become the ultimate companion-in-arms.
During this time, I not only hardened my body, but I also learned to channel those negative feelings that used to overwhelm me. Through meditation and constant combat, I managed to manifest the sword with a new and powerful intent. I decided to grant it a name that resonated with what it hid inside: The Black Abyss.
"“The Black Abyss”?" Juno had commented when I uttered the name for the first time. "Sounds legendary, almost poetic for a pair of outcasts like us. I like it."
Even Tsuki, with her usual air of divine superiority, gave it her approval as a goddess, mentioning that the name did justice to the darkness inhabiting the metal.
However, not everything was peaceful on the surface. The incident in the cave had not been forgotten. For months, High-Ranking Guild members had been prowling around the village, holding long and tense chats with Owen. There was collective panic at first, but over time the situation didn't escalate further. Even so, an unsettling uncertainty persisted in the taverns and market stalls: What kind of “monster” would have the caliber necessary to tear an entire cave apart from the inside and leave battle scars on the mountain itself?
They were searching for a beast, never suspecting that the “beast” was now ten years old and about to take the Academy entrance exams.
Akane would also be taking the exam; we were set to depart for the Capital in just a few weeks, so we were both focused on polishing our magic. Every now and then, she would come to my house along with Yuki so the kids could play, giving us the necessary space to train. Today, however, was a moment of respite. I found myself contemplating the blue sky under the shade of an ancient tree, enjoying the breeze, while Tsuki remained seated by my side.
"Tell me, Tsuki…" I began, turning to look at her. "You will always accompany me, wherever I go… right?"
She placed her hand over mine with a lightness that barely brushed the physical, yet felt warm within my soul.
"Always, Tatsumi…" she replied with a smile full of tenderness. "Wherever this destiny takes us, we will go together. So, we will soon depart for the Capital for the exam?"
My ring finger caressed hers—a subtle contact that provoked a spontaneous blush on both of our cheeks. The world around us seemed to stop, letting time flow only for the two of us.
"It seems that's how it will be, Tsuki…" I murmured, losing myself in the vastness of the sky. "We shall see what awaits us beyond the borders of this village."
This is nice… Tsuki thought, letting her finger hook with mine in an invisible bond. To be able to be here with him, even if it is in this “spectral” way, is more than I ever imagined.
She is special… I reflected on my part, feeling her presence vibrate alongside mine. Tsuki is irreplaceable. She was the first one who truly saw me, with all my shadows. She's a weirdo, yes, she definitely is… but I appreciate her more than words can express.
"Tatsumi… I think there is a way," Tsuki said suddenly. Her tone of voice had changed, losing its usual lightness for a seriousness that put me on alert. She looked at me with hesitation, as if weighing the gravity of her own words. "A way for you and Juno to become one single soul again. I don't know if it will work, but… a possibility exists."
The silence that followed was absolute. Within me, I felt a stir of contradictory emotions.
"Mmm… I don't know, Tatsumi," Juno's voice resonated, unusually hesitant. "As much as I like the idea of being one with you again… I've grown used to this. To being your shadow, to being your annoying voice. I no longer know who I am without this space of my own."
I understand, Juno, I responded calmly, letting my thoughts flow toward him with absolute sincerity. I understand the fear. But perhaps it's for the best, don't you think? To go back to being a single Tatsumi and a single Juno. One where hatred and resentment exist, yes, because they are part of who we are, but where they stop being the chain that prevents us from moving forward.
"Alright… I get you," Juno sighed in the darkness of my mind. "But you say it as if it were easy. We have too much accumulated pain, Tatsumi. How the hell do you plan to free us from that chain?"
There will be a way, Juno. There always is. And if there isn't… we will create it.
Tsuki, who seemed to have been listening to the echo of my resolve, nodded slightly as she let go of my hand.
"Tatsumi, just give me a little time," she requested, looking toward the horizon with an analytical expression. "It may be a lengthy and complex process… but I need time to map out my idea on how to purify and reintegrate your soul without destroying who you are."
Tsuki took my hand again, but this time her touch was more deliberate. Her eyes were fixed on my ring finger as she caressed it with an almost melancholy softness.
He is an impertinent human… a brat, Tsuki thought to herself, feeling the weight of centuries in her gaze. He is the very first reincarnation I have guided in my entire existence as a goddess. Perhaps he believes he should be grateful to me for this second chance… but I am the one who is most grateful to him. I believe there are no words in any language to explain why.
She looked up at me and stood up with an elegance that reminiscent of ancient royalty.
"I suppose I must go, dummy," she said, regaining that playful tone that hid her true emotions. "I have to meditate on that idea. See you later, Tatsumi… and good luck on your exam."
She let go of my hand with a radiant smile, and little by little, her image began to fade into the warm afternoon air, leaving behind only the whisper of the wind. I held my hand in the air a few moments longer, still feeling the trace of her energy, before bringing it to my hair with a gesture of resignation.
What do you think all of that was about, Juno? I asked in the silence of my mind.
"I have no idea, Tatsumi…" the voice replied, sounding unusually reflective. "But I suppose that's how women are, don't you think? An enigma waiting to be deciphered. Although we cannot deny that it feels a bit empty after her departure."
That's true, Juno… In the end, we share the same essence and feel that void, even if we are bewildered as to why. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I think it's best to train. The exam won't wait for us to sort out our feelings.
I sighed with resignation as I stood up. The sun was beginning to sink into the horizon, yielding its place to the silver light of the moon that was starting to peek out. I stepped out from the protection of the tree's canopy, feeling the fresh evening breeze. I stood there, pensive; I wanted to replicate that water projectile I achieved a while ago, but this time using the fire element.
"And why don't you do the exact same thing, dummy?" Juno's voice suggested, with his usual tone of self-importance. "Just concentrate the fire magic into your index finger and… bam! Fire the projectile."
What a great idea, I was thinking of something exactly like that, I replied internally.
I extended my right arm at shoulder height, aiming into the void. I inhaled deeply and, upon exhaling, allowed fire to coat my hand. However, the magic manifested in a wild fashion, creating a flare the size of my head that danced uncontrollably.
"No, idiot!" Juno reprimanded me immediately. "Try to suppress that fireball. Force it to compress into a small sphere."
Although I couldn't explain the "how," I understood the logic behind his words. I clenched my fist tightly, concentrating a greater amount of mana to force the element to obey. The fire began to crackle with an electrical sound, as if lightning bolts were trapped within the heat, until it finally began to dissipate and compress inside my fist. I slowly raised my index finger; now, on its tip danced a small, dense sphere of an incandescent orange. It was small, but it emitted a heat far more intense than the previous flare.
"Mmph, not bad, kid," Juno admitted, sounding satisfied. "Why don't you try to hit that tree about forty meters from here?"
Forty meters? I questioned, adjusting my posture and locking my eyes on the rough trunk in the distance. Well… I have nothing to lose by trying, right?
"Fire, kid! Now! BOOM!" Juno shouted in my mind, anxious to see the result.
I pressed my index finger against my thumb, creating a tension similar to that of a slingshot, and released the energy. The sphere shot forward at a speed that, in my opinion, far surpassed that of the water projectile. The air whistled as the orange bullet covered the distance, tracing a trail of black smoke just above the ground due to the extreme heat it emanated.
The impact was nearly instantaneous. The small sphere pierced through the wood of the tree as if it were butter, and barely a second later, a dull thud resonated from inside the trunk. A contained explosion shattered the bark from within, launching charred splinters in all directions.
I stood in silence, observing the smoking hole in the center of the tree.
"Hey, hey…" Juno's voice sounded strangely serious, almost impressed. "I think we went overboard with the suppression. It blew right through the damn trunk, Tatsumi. Do you have any idea what would happen if that tore through a torso of flesh?"
I lowered my hand, feeling the residual heat on the tip of my finger.
"Basically, the exact same thing would happen to them as the trunk," Juno continued. "You burn them from the inside in a blink, followed by an explosion that would leave nothing to patch up. You just created a knight-killer, boy."
It's obvious I won't use this against a person lightly… I reflected, looking at the embers still falling from the tree. It will be a resource of last resort. And about the name… well, I'll think of something that sounds imposing later. Right now, I am exhausted; suppressing mana in that manner drains more energy than it seems.
Before leaving, I cast one last look at the shattered trunk—a silent witness that my power was scaling to a dangerous level. I shook my head, reorganizing my ideas and wiping the trace of battle from my mind. I set off on the path back; the moon already claimed the sky with its silver glow, so I quickened my pace among the shadows of the forest.
Soon I spotted the trunk bent to the right, the old natural marker indicating I was just a few meters away from the inn. Instead of entering through the main door and risking Mom's questions, I opted for the quick route: I climbed up the trees with the agility that only two years of training could provide, leaping from branch to branch until reaching the height of my window. With one final push, I slipped into my room and let myself fall heavily onto the sheets.
"Mmm… blessed bed…" I sighed, sinking into the mattress. "See, Juno? I told you it was a brilliant idea to place the bed right beneath the window."
"Yes, yes, a tactical stroke of genius for lazy bobs," Juno replied with a mental yawn. "But don't get used to the rest, kid. Tomorrow the sun will rise again and the Capital is getting closer and closer. You better hope your dreams aren't as noisy as your explosions."
I closed my eyes, letting the weight of fatigue and the satisfaction of a newly discovered power drag me into a deep sleep.
The weeks slid away between sweat and exhaustion. My mana resistance grew exponentially after forcing myself to violently suppress fire and water, focusing every single gram of energy with a pure intent of destruction. Over time, the fatigue that used to knock me out became a distant echo. However, the true challenge lay not within my mana channels, but within my mind.
When I rested from magic, Juno took control of the training. He would whisper scenarios laced with poison, forcing me to navigate a sea of hatred to learn how not to drown in it. It wore me down emotionally; Juno was an architect of nightmares, capable of projecting visions that felt more real than the ground beneath my feet.
"Do you seriously think you can save Ann? Your family? Akane?" his voice resonated with a certainty that chilled my blood. "You are weak, Tatsumi. What good is this second chance if in the end everything burns? You're just a ten-year-old boy playing hero. Everyone will die; even your pathetic goddess will perish along with those you love, and you'll only be able to stand there, staring at their corpses."
That time, his words weren't just noise. The image of my family inert beneath a sky of reddish clouds and ashes was so vivid that something inside me fractured. The pain and resentment, along with the helplessness, exploded with uncontrollable force. I lost all sense of reality, my eyes dyed a deep crimson, and I felt my hair lose its color, turning white as snow and growing down to my shoulders in an instant.
It was in that moment of madness that she appeared.
"The White Sunset…" Tsuki murmured upon seeing me, with a mixture of dread and reverence. That was what she decided to call that particular state: a destructive beauty that heralded the end of all things.
Upon ending that day of training and returning to normal, the price of power became evident. My body began to shudder violently, and I felt the metallic warmth of thin trickles of blood leaking from my eyes and nose. Despite having been in that state for barely a few minutes, my muscles felt as though they had been stretched to the breaking point. I shuddered just thinking about what would happen to my organism if I tried to fight seriously under the form of "The White Sunset."
Being transformed was not euphoria; it was an indescribable void. As if I had a black hole in my chest devouring every trace of humanity, leaving only an asphyxiating pressure where a soul used to be.
"It is the price of touching the end of the world, kid," Juno whispered, unusually quiet following the transformation.
The final week passed between preparations and farewells, until at last, the most anticipated day arrived. The leap toward the Capital was only a few hours away.
I woke up to a hectic morning, with that biting cold I always detested when waking up early. I stood in front of the wardrobe, weighing what to wear for an occasion that would define my future. I chose something that balanced the comfort of the journey with the dignity of an Academy applicant:
I dressed in a reinforced black linen tunic, fitted tight to the body so as not to hinder my movements, over which I placed a ash-gray leather jerkin with silver rivets on the shoulders. At my waist, a wide, dark leather belt held my belongings and, of course, the discreet space where the presence of The Black Abyss awaited me. Dark trousers made of durable fabric and tall travel boots completed the outfit, giving me a more mature and severe air than usual.
Upon finishing dressing, I headed downstairs. The silence on the lower floor struck me as odd, as there was no sign of my parents in the kitchen or dining room. I crossed the threshold of the front door and stepped out into the front yard, where the dawn light dyed everything a pale blue.
There they were. Varken and Selene awaited me alongside a little Ann who was rubbing her eyes, wrapped in a blanket. Their faces reflected a mixture of pride and that quiet sadness of those who see their child depart toward a destiny they can no longer control.
I approached them with firm steps, feeling the weight of the farewell in every inch of my skin. Varken, with his imposing presence, placed both hands on my shoulders, looking at me with a mixture of respect and pride I had rarely seen in him.
"Well, son… it's time for you to follow your own path on this journey of life," he said with a steady voice. "Today is the big day, the Academy exam. It doesn't matter if you fail; remember that you can always come back home and try again."
Selene then stepped forward, with a maternal smile that tried to hide her anguish. She placed her hands over my father's, enveloping me in the warmth of them both.
"My boy… you are throwing yourself into a world full of adventures, but also adversities," she said, and I noticed how her voice began to crack as she tightened her hands over Dad's. "Your father and I have watched you grow since you were barely a baby in arms. Promise me that you will eat healthy, that you will make friends… and that you will come visit us as soon as you have a free moment, Tatsumi."
"I promise, Mom…" I replied, feeling a knot in my throat. "I'll come see you as soon as I can."
We merged into a group hug—a refuge of human warmth before facing the cold of the outside world. As I pulled away, I noticed that Ann kept herself apart, small and fragile under the dawn light. I approached her and crouched down to get on her level.
"Ann… I have to go," I told her softly, searching for her gaze.
Without warning, she lunged toward me, wrapping her arms around my neck with a desperate strength and burying her head into the crook of my shoulder.
"Tatsumi… please, don't… don't go, brother," she sobbed, her voice nearly inaudible. "Tatsu… I don't want you to go. Don't leave me alone, please…"
Ann broke into uncontrollable weeping, releasing a torrent of tears that soaked my new jerkin. Her arms clung to me as if her life depended on it, and the sound of her racing heart hurt me more than any physical wound.
"Hey… we can't resist this much longer, Tatsumi…" Juno murmured, and for the first time, his voice wasn't cynical, but heavy with an strange empathy.
I wrapped her in my arms and lifted her, cradling her head against my chest so she could feel the beating of my heart.
"You will never be alone, Ann… and believe me, if I could, I would stay here with you forever. But I must do this," I squeezed her tightly, trying to transmit all my security to her. "Inside of you is me, Ann. Don't cry, little one, we will see each other again. I promise you."
I kissed her forehead with tenderness before setting her back down on the ground. I leaned down one last time to wipe away her tears with my thumbs, offering her a smile I hoped would give her strength until my return.
I felt my own tears on the verge of overflowing, but I clenched my teeth and took a deep breath; I didn't want the last image Ann had of me to be that of a broken brother. Ann turned around and walked toward Selene, who took her into her arms while both watched me with a mixture of love and melancholy.
Just at that moment, the sound of hooves upon the dirt announced the arrival of our transport. A polished wooden carriage came to a halt in front of the garden. The door opened with an elegant click, revealing Akane.
She stepped down a rung with a radiant smile, wearing an outfit that balanced the formality of an applicant with the practicality of a traveler:
She wore a white silk blouse with a high collar and discreet lace details, protected by a fitted vest of a midnight blue color that made the paleness of her skin stand out. She wore a dark travel skirt that reached her knees, combined with durable leggings and tall leather boots. Her hair was partially tied up, letting her red eyes—deep and vibrant like rubies beneath the dawn light—capture my entire attention.
She looks… spectacular, Akane… I thought, feeling a flutter in my heart that not even Juno dared to mock this time.
Tatsumi… he is looking right at me… Could it be that he likes how I look? Akane thought, feeling a sudden warmth in her cheeks while trying to maintain her composure.
Before taking the final step toward the carriage, I paused and looked back one last time. My parents and Ann watched me with smiles full of hope. I returned the gesture with a hand raised high, engraving that image into my memory as an amulet against the darkness that was to come.
I returned my gaze to Akane, who extended her hand toward me with elegance and confidence to help me up. I took her hand, feeling once again that firm connection we had forged, and boarded the carriage that would take us far away from the peace of the village.
As the carriage began to roll, kicking up a trail of dust that glistened under the first rays of the sun, Selene pressed Ann against her chest and stepped closer to Varken. The three of them merged into an embrace that tried to fill the space Tatsumi had just left behind.
"Our little boy is gone, Varken…" Selene whispered, hiding her face in her husband's shoulder. "I still don't feel ready. He just left and I didn't think it would affect me this much…"
Varken, that man who always seemed like an immovable rock in the face of the forest's dangers, wrapped his hand around his wife's back with infinite tenderness. His shoulders shook slightly as he sobbed in a silence that only his family could share.
"I… Selene… I understand, sweetheart," he managed to say with a cracked voice loaded with emotion. "The farewell of our baby is hurting all of us. Yes, he's growing up now, but to me, he will always remain my little one, my baby… my son."
They stood there, motionless in the middle of the yard, keeping a minute of silence as the sound of the carriage wheels faded into the distance. They watched as the vehicle disappeared over the hill, and with it, went the tears that the dawn would take care of drying, leaving behind a house that, for the first time in ten years, felt far too big and silent.