Advice and someone to talk to you
Hello, my name is Marie. I’m 21 years old and I don’t have a family. My dad died of cancer and my mom is an alcoholic. I’ve been on my own for almost 2 years now. And I’ve accomplished so much on my own. Yet the more I accomplish the sadder I feel. I just got my own place, this will be my first place without any roommates and all on my own. And although I’m so happy and proud I can’t help but feel so miserable. I mean I wouldn’t be in this predicament, if I had a family. I was doing Jitsu for a little bit but I had to stop. I would get so happy but then when I came home, I would get so depressed. It was like I was riding a high and then when I came home reality hit and I was alone. No one to talk to just silence. I love my friends, they mean the world to me but it’s not the same as family. What they mean to me isn’t the same for what I mean to them. They have their own family, people to talk to and people that understand them on a deeper level. I’m very outgoing. I love talking to people, but I can’t help but feel so empty. I spend every day alone. I will never have a family to share a meal with, someone to call for advice, go on a family vacation, or be a part of something. I’ve gotten so desperate I’ve been looking up ways to pay people to make a fake family, I want to mean something I want to be someone’s daughter and I want to be the best I can. My birthday is coming up in October and I feel like I’m supposed to feel excited, but I feel so anxious and scared. and then after my birthday is the holidays. That’s what really hurts. I spent the holidays alone last year. My friends offered me to join, but I knew it wouldn’t be the same so I opt out. I feel like holidays were meant for families and I don’t want to play pretend or make other people uncomfortable when I’m not a part of theirs. I spend every day alone, I really just want a family.