Lonely.
Hello. If you remember, (a lot of you probably dont) I posted this story under a different title about a month ago. I have since deleted the old version and this is a somewhat newer tweaked version that I like better. There is still a bigger version coming along with some other changes. I dunno when thats gonna be done but it will be soon hopefully. I hope you enjoy my english project <3
It has been precisely 42 days since I have seen another human being. I just woke up one day, and since I live alone, I didn’t notice immediately. It’s funny that scientists say that people need other people to stay alive and sane, but I have never felt that way. I’ve never felt lonely, in fact, when I was with people, I felt I was forcing myself to conform to what they like. Their preferred version of me. I used to have a wife, we divorced 3 years ago. She said that I wasn’t the same guy she married. But I’m going a little off track. I’ve decided to start this journal in the event this journal gets into the hands of literally anyone else. Right, I should probably explain more about what's going on. 42 days ago, I woke up like any other day, got ready and set out to go to my job as a lawyer. As I left my house, the streets were quiet. I didn’t figure anything was wrong, there weren’t any other signs to point to it. And I don’t really live in that big of a city, so again, I brushed it off. As I arrived at work though, that’s when I sensed something was off. The building was locked and all of the lights were off. I called my boss to see if I had missed something, I checked the day to make sure it wasn’t a holiday and we were closed. But I came up empty handed on everything. I had just then realized that the staff parking lot was also empty, and no one else was next to me asking what the hell was going on. I started to get a little uneasy, but maybe it was- well honestly I don't remember what I was thinking, but I was trying to rationalize it. I checked my watch and it read 10:30am. 10:30 in the morning and it was dead silent, everywhere.
A high school was just a couple blocks away so I had jogged over, my heart shuddered as I noticed that the school was completely inert. No kids smoking outside instead of learning, and no teachers telling them to get back in or they’re expelled. Clap. I had heard a clap that echoed through the empty streets, and I swung behind me to where the sound had originated. Clap. Standing down the block was what looked to be a human, wearing a suit. I was relieved and called out: “Hey! Do you know where everyone is?”. Clap. “Is that a no?” Clap. I noticed that it was starting to walk towards me, and as it did, my stomach knotted into a pretzel. The “human” was at least 8 feet tall, and the hands were MASSIVE, and it looked as if the nails were neglected and grew into claws. The head was more oblong than normal. As it finally hit me what I was looking at wasn’t a human, or at least not anymore, I ran. I ran so far so fast I felt like a track star, I felt like the wind, as if my atoms had bonded to it and it carried me away effortlessly. And then I was right back where I was.
Because I hadn’t gone anywhere. My feet were glued to the cement sidewalk in complete terror. Clap. I tried to scream for help but nothing but a wimpy gust of air came out. Clap. I kept trying to desperately move, but the stupid fucking thing kept clapping. Clap. As my fear began to subside and my adrenaline kicked in, I realized I could move again and I immediately ran for my life. This time I got farther. By 3 steps. As I ran those 3 steps, I looked back to see my assailant closer, only about 10 feet now. I have tried and failed to describe what it looks like multiple times because it was so hideous and ungodly that it was near impossible to put it into words. While I was trying to stare at the creature in hopes I would suddenly get laser eyes and kill it, I failed to notice the curb that dipped onto the street. I looked back to get a face full of concrete. My nose had started to weep uncontrollably, it had leaked down into my mouth and the harsh taste of metallic blood assaulted my tounge.. The pain was more than I thought it was going to be. I had never been in a fight or really ever been hurt like that before, but thanks to my primal burst of energy, I was ready to get out of here. Clap. I look back in the direction of the noise helplessly on the ground like a turtle on its back, all I see are pants and fine dress shoes. Clap. I craned my neck all the way up to look at its face. The best way I could describe it was that it looked like the head of a fly with teeth instead of eyes, rows upon rows of jagged and yellowed teeth that looked like they could slice boulders effortlessly. Clap. It clapped above me, and took a step closer. I scrambled to my feet and managed to barely avoid a swipe that luckily only tore my suit. As I ran, I noticed I was crying. But I had no time to focus on my feelings because they were interrupted by a sound that haunts me. Clap. I looked behind me as I was sprinting, only taking glances to avoid my previous blunder. As I glanced back, it was SPRINTING. I turned on the afterburners and started to take various turns and alleys to try and lose it. It seemed that I was faster than it while it was sprinting even without giving it my all. But the fact that it was sprinting now and not earlier means it was toying with me. That's all for today, I’m tired and I hear one outside.
Day 43.
Back to how all of this started. After I managed to lose the creature, which I’m still struggling to find a proper name for, I made my way to multiple houses and tried banging on the doors and ringing doorbells, eager for human contact. The first time that I’ve felt that way for years. When nobody answered, I decided to walk to the police station. I took caution with every step, constantly checking behind myself and around corners. One time when I peeked down an alley, I thought I felt something peeking back, but from behind me. I don’t ignore gut feelings, so I decided to pick up my pace. As I made it to the station, I was in an all too familiar situation. Trying to open a locked door to a building with all of the lights off. Was I really alone? I began to tear up again, but then I realized. I don’t have anyone that I cared for. And nobody cared for me. To my boss, I was just another cog to keep things going. To my clients, I was a slimy lawyer that could get anyone out of anything, no matter how heinous. Nobody looked up to me, and I looked up to nobody. My wife left me, my parents died years ago, and I never had any kids. I had nothing and now there is nothing. So had anything really changed for me?
The ultimate conclusion that I’ve come to later was no, but in that moment my thoughts were scattered by a clap. I didn’t see the creature but I decided not to stick around. I had made my way back to my house, but as I reached into my pockets for the keys, I grasped at nothing. I punched my door in anger, ran my fingers through my hair and slid down against my door, starting to get overwhelmed with anger and hopelessness. I figure they must’ve fallen out when I fell. I didn’t want to break in because I wanted an entire house that was lockable and fortifiable. So, I found a house that had a ‘for-sale’ sign, and the house looked brand new. I assumed it was vacant and it looked like a good place to settle for a bit. The door was unlocked so I let myself in.
I was so relieved to be off the streets that I momentarily started to go back into my thoughts. But I snapped out of it, and checked the entire house for a presence of any kind. Animal, human, creature, anything. I found nothing and decided to lock all of the doors and windows. All of the furniture was still here and the electricity worked. I made sure to close all of the curtains and hang blankets with nails wherever you could possibly see inside or out. I planned on camping out here until… rescue? I don’t really know what I was waiting for, but I waited. Days passed, I learned to scavenge, go to the store and take what I need. I learned- or at least think I learned how the creatures work. Yes, there are multiple. They don’t seem to travel in packs, but they live together and make ‘hubs’ for themselves in some houses to either trade food or multiply. I haven’t been brave enough to wander into one. I never noticed if they have eyes or not, so I don’t know how they see. I thought that it was echolocation and they clapped to make noise similar to how bats squeak, but this theory isn't proven to be true or false. Some of them don’t clap and still seem to know what they’re doing. Maybe it’s them talking to other ones? They don’t like loud noises. I had gotten cornered in a grocery store once and one of my alarms on my phone went off. It’s on max volume, I’m a heavy sleeper so I need it to wake up. The noise didn’t seem to hurt the creature, but scared it away. I still have yet to try and physically harm one. I live in Saskatchewan, Canada, so guns aren’t readily available in every home. There are a couple gun shops, but they’re at least a 2 hour walk across town and I’m too scared to be out that long. The house has knives and bats, but I never want to be close enough to one so that I can use them. Sometimes they seem to notice me but move on, other times they seem to want to utterly decimate me. I’m not entirely sure what causes these strange behaviours. They get close to the house, and they’ll knock on the door and windows. They never break them or even attempt to. I don’t know if they know I’m in here and they’re trying to scare me or what, but I get scared shitless all of the time. I typically just wait and they’ll go away on their own. You’re pretty much caught up to where I am currently, so on that note I’m going to eat canned tomato soup and go to bed.
3:46 am - One of them is watching me.
Day 44.
7:24 am - I scribbled that quickly after I made the mistake of looking out the window after I went to the washroom. As I peeked out, I could make out one of them under the streetlight. I don’t know if they have eyes but I knew it was staring at me. I did not go back to bed after that. I was watching the front door like a hawk. So if they didn’t know I was here, they do now. I’ve decided I need to find another house to stay in, this one isn’t safe anymore. I found some bags under the sink, I’ll shove my rations in there and then get the hell out of this house.
Day 44.
11:20 am - They knew. They knew all along that I was in there. As I left, 3 of them decided to try and ambush me. I had my weapon ready. I had my phone in hand, with a speaker strapped to my hip, and blasted music. The loud noise seemed to scare them again, well, except one. One of them got angry instead of scared, and swiped at me. He got the speaker and it snapped off my body. I ran as fast as I could, I glanced back again and the creature was thrashing the speaker to bits as it let out one last sad, muted note. I made it about 3 kilometers, turning unpredictably throughout the city layout. I found a house to settle on, the door was locked but after doing some exceptional sleuth work, which involved looking under the welcome mat, I found a spare key. I ran in, slammed the door behind me and breathed a sigh of relief. I quickly blocked out all of the windows again and checked for electricity, to my utter dismay, it seemed that the power was out. Which meant no water from the tap either, and if by some miracle there was, the treatment plants probably went to shit already. I have bigger problems. As I’m writing this, I’m hearing noises.
I forgot to check the basement.
Day 45.
12:02 pm - I didn’t even bother checking what it was, I just scrambled to board it up, and I swear that something was pushing back against me when I pushed the couch in front of the door. I quickly swept the rest of the house. I can’t believe I made such a huge mistake. Never again will I mess up, it may cost me my life next time. It’s later in the day now, and I think the thing in the basement may not be a creature. I think I heard a whimper of sorts, but I can’t be sure. Because if I’m wrong, I’m really wrong.
10:28 pm - Whatever is in the basement sounds like a dog. I’m going to bed, it doesn’t seem to stop whimpering or scratching, it must really want out.
Day 46.
10:42 am - I was thinking while I slept, and I kind’ve relate to whatever is in my basement right now. Wanting out, that is. My wife always criticised me for “not being the man she married”. We were married for 4 years, and I was the happiest I’ve ever been. She liked to live fast, never really stopping or taking days off. I would always tell her that I needed a day to relax, and she would ask me why. Why? Why do I have to give you an answer? Is saying “I need to relax” not enough? I found myself making excuses just so I could be myself for a little while. Our relationship ended when she decided to sleep with another man. She said he reminded her of how I used to be. I divorced her right there and then. That’s what I kind’ve enjoy about all of this, being alone. It bothered me at first, but now I can just be myself and not have to give excuses about why I need to relax. I really needed to expel this somewhere, and I don’t have anyone to tell. Anyways, I need to eat lunch.
2:30 pm - It’s not a dog.
I was rambling to myself, pretty much yelling about the stuff from the previous entry. I heard my echo. The house isn’t empty enough to have an echo. I had walked past the basement door, searching for myself. I kept saying “Hello?” to find the source, and sure enough, walking past the basement door, I greeted myself right back. It was trying to get me to open the door. I know I just got here, but after reading what I’m writing, I’m out of here.
Day 47.
I found a new place for now, I found some newly built homes and one of the windows wasn’t locked. as I was running away, again, still cautious around corners, I heard a wail in the distance. Before all of this, this part of the city had been known for violence and other crime activity. This made my senses dial up to 120%, as I walked past all of the houses with smashed windows and graffiti all over them. With how long I have been alone, it feels like I’m looking at ancient scripture. Then, I heard a clap. I realized I was running in the direction of the noises. As I walked by a house, Clap. A woman would cry out, “Leave my child alone!” Clap. The child would beg for help. Clap. Instinctively, I ran to the door and put my hand on the handle, and just as I had started to turn the handle to open the door, I stopped dead in my tracks. I thought about the “dog”, and “myself”. And then I also remembered how I said I wouldn’t make another mistake again. So I didn’t. I slowly took my hand off the door handle, and started to walk away. Clap. Crying. Clap. Silence. Clap. Silence. I couldn’t risk the fact that there was a chance it wasn’t human.
Day 48.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the child and the woman, but I think I made the right decision by walking away. This place is fine, I made sure to check it this time and everything is as best as it can be. With no power, life is a little harder, but manageable. I got a portable stove and a pot. I can heat my soups or boil unsafe water to drink. The supermarket near me is no longer safe, I think they’re turning it into a massive hub. On one of my runs, I nearly got caught when I walked in. There were at least 5 of them dragging in what I can only imagine to be food? Cow corpses, stray dogs, racoons, foxes, in the giant mess I thought I saw a human arm but I’m not sure. If they aren’t eating it, I don’t know what else they could be using it for. The entire place reeked of rotting flesh and mold. I have a couple other stores that I can go to for now, and should last me a couple weeks. I found a radio downstairs. I'm unsure if any tunes would be playing anymore, but it's entertainment. I think I’m starting to get lonely, I find myself thinking about my wife more often now. I wonder what happened to her, or on a more broad scale, what happened to everyone? I hadn’t really stopped to think about it until now, because I was living in my own little paradise where I could be unbothered. I’m starting to think maybe those scientists that I made fun of were right all along.
Day 49.
There may be other people out there. I got someone through the radio, multiple people. They sounded clear as day. I’m not sure whether or not whatever that's on the other end is human, but I don’t think the creatures would know how to use a radio and I’m starting to get desperate. I’m hearing and seeing things and since I live in this fucked up nightmare, I don’t know if they’re real or not. I need other people. They are hiding out in the Moose Jaw tunnels, about a 2 day walk or a 12 hour bike ride from Saskatoon. I’m thinking about the child and the woman again, I was so quick to give up on them but now I’m about to go see “people” in Moose Jaw? Desperation is a bitch I guess. All I know is that if I go, I might die, if I stay, I’ll go insane and then probably die. I’m still thinking about my wife, is she still alive? Did she get ‘taken’ by a creature? It drives me slightly mad to think about it, so I’m not going too. I need to focus on making it to Moose Jaw in one piece.
4:57pm - About an hour ago, I was out on the highway to Moose Jaw, just peddling away. And I glanced behind me to see a creature was following me. He didn’t seem aggressive at first so I shrugged it off, but peddled just a little faster. After about 10 minutes, I looked behind me again only to see that the distance between me and the creature hadn’t changed, if anything, it got closer. Again, I started to peddle a little harder. And just as I thought I was going fast enough to evade the creature entirely, I heard what could have been my incoming demise. It sounded like an angry bull, both in its strides and the noises it made. I didn’t even have to turn my head around fully to see that the creature was now on all fours and giving everything it had to try and get me. At this point my legs were exhausted, and I couldn’t afford to peddle any faster, or any longer. I was going through a lightly forested area, and this is where I put my plan into action. I slammed on the brakes, being careful not to go flying over the handlebars. As the creature wooshed past me like the flash himself, I quickly got off the bike and ran to the woods for cover. Right as I got around a tree, I heard it. Clap. Against every wish that my body had, my mind made me peek around the tree. The creature had its back to me, and was staring at the lone bike in the middle of the road. Now typically in scenarios like this, the person hiding makes a noise and alerts the creature. Except, I didn’t. I didn’t make a noise, I didn’t blink, and I don’t think I was even breathing. Even then, even though the world was silent, the creature seemed to hear me. Its head shot to me, the neck movement so disgusting I could have puked. I could see the bones in its neck break just for it to look at me. It seemed unfazed at its broken neck, and was now set on me. Time seemed to slow as both me and the creature took off at the same time. It was a track race that I did not want to lose. I took random turns and I even tried to fake out the creature a couple times. And just as my legs were about to give out, I had found a hollow log to dive into and pray the creature wouldn’t find me. Again, the world fell silent, all of the birds stopped chirping, the wind stopped blowing, and I wouldn’t doubt it if the world stopped turning. As I am completely petrified with fear, I heard it about me. Clap. I closed my eyes and held my breath. Clap. I heard steps starting to circle the log. Clap. And right as my lungs couldn’t take the searing itch to inhale any longer, I heard footsteps rapidly dart away. I opened my mouth and took a sweet, rich, inhale of oxygen. I slowly peaked my head out, the creature had vanished, leaving massive footprints in the mud.
Day 50-51.
I’m writing this as I’m laying in a wheat field. I’m roughly about 10km out of Moose Jaw. The bike ride here, I saw more of the creatures. They were more interested in eating the horses and cows that now roamed freely throughout the prairie. But I noticed something. The teeth that I described that covers their face? That’s not just covering their face, it’s their mouth. I saw one a little closer than I’d like, happily enjoying a cow. It was hideous, the head split into two, like a venus flytrap. A long, winding tongue came out and wrapped itself around the cow’s head. It then proceeded to eat almost the entirety of the cow's head in one bite. I shuddered when I realized that could’ve been me when I was laying on the street defenseless. But I carried on and peddled just a little faster. For once in this entire endeavour, I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that those people on the radio are real people, and I will finally be with something other than my thoughts and those things. I wish my wife was here. I wish I never left her, I wish she could write in this journal with me. This was one of the last things she gave me, a leather journal with our initials scribed into the front. She told me that maybe if I wrote down everything that I wouldn’t bottle it up anymore. I told her it was stupid and that I’m just fine how I am. Oh how wrong I was. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.
Day 52.
They weren’t people. Or, they WERE people. What's left of them is strewn around town, they looked like they were turned into chew toys and thrown around for sport. None of them are recognizable as people, except one whose upper half was stuck in a tree, face solidified in terror. All of the blood is old, and the flesh is rotting. It was the creatures all along. I feel like all of my screws have been knocked loose and that every chance I had at survival just got flushed away by god. Maybe it was my calling to go to them, and I was fighting my fate. Maybe they’re keeping my wife for me, so I can see her again. I’m unsure if anyone will read this, but if you do, my only word of advice; Give yourself to them, it’s a better fate than being alone. I’ve decided I’m going to walk into a hub, and let myself relax, finally.
-Kurt.
