u/Late_Progress_1267

Hey BWT!

Currently single and today I wondered what it would look like to date myself. I don't mean the odd cozy day in, or just eating by myself, but if I were REALLY dating myself the way I wanted to be dated and loved, what would that look like?

So far, the best I've got is taking myself on two planned dates / month (one more effort like a nice restaurant, and the other more casual, like going to the movies) with a nice overnight "getaway" a few times a year.

I'm not sure that buying myself flowers or paying for a manicure would hit the same as being gifted them, but I'm still turning these ideas over in my mind, lol!

BWT, have any of you ever seriously dated yourselves? If so, what did that look like? And if not, what would make you say "WOW! That's woman's significant other is loving her WELL!"?

All wisdom welcome! :) Thanks in advance!

I'll give backstory via bullet format...

• Cousin and I are 1st cousins; both adults in our 30s (he's a few years younger), text a few times a year. I'm single, no kids; he's married with two small kiddoes.
• In March cousin reaches out, asks how I've been, says we have to get together 😄 I'm excited and text back.
• He then asks me for a favor and to borrow $800 for 2 tires as he's going through a rough time financially.
• Ngl; I'm kind of miffed that he asked for money under the pretext of wanting to catch up.
• In fairness, this cousin has always been a sweetie and never asked for anything. So I say yes and send him the money.
• He's profusely thankful and says that he'll text in a few days regarding repayment.
• That was early March...cousin has not texted me to this day

I've never loaned anyone money before (have given on multiple occasions tho), and so I understand that I've officially been burned. In my defense, I'm not hurting for money so I didn't take food out of my own mouth, AND cousin had never given me a reason to think that he was sus before. I was tempted to outright give it to him from the start, but didn't want to set that precedent.

At this point, I'd rather just forgive the loan as he likely did need it and I don't want this hanging over either of us. At the same time, I want to make it kindly but abundantly clear that he should NEVER expect another dime from me.

Have any of you ever gone through this type of situation? Do you have any suggestions for me to word my outreach? Anything in particular I should be sure to say? Am I being extra by wanting to let him that the "bank bridge is burnt"?

Happy to share more context if helpful!

I'll give backstory via bullet format...

• Cousin and I are 1st cousins; both adults in our 30s (he's a few years younger), text a few times a year. I'm single, no kids; he's married with two small kiddoes.
• In March cousin reaches out, asks how I've been, says we have to get together 😄 I'm excited and text back.
• He then asks me for a favor and to borrow $800 for 2 tires as he's going through a rough time financially.
• Ngl; I'm kind of miffed that he asked for money under the pretext of wanting to catch up.
• In fairness, this cousin has always been a sweetie and never asked for anything. So I say yes and send him the money.
• He's profusely thankful and says that he'll text in a few days regarding repayment.
• That was early March...cousin has not texted me to this day

I've never loaned anyone money before (have given on multiple occasions tho), and so I understand that I've officially been burned. In my defense, I'm not hurting for money so I didn't take food out of my own mouth, AND cousin had never given me a reason to think that he was sus before. I was tempted to outright give it to him from the start, but didn't want to set that precedent.

At this point, I'd rather just forgive the loan as he likely did need it and I don't want this hanging over either of us. At the same time, I want to make it kindly but abundantly clear that he should NEVER expect another dime from me.

Have any of you ever gone through this type of situation? Do you have any suggestions for me to word my outreach? Anything in particular I should be sure to say? Am I being extra by wanting to let him that the "bank bridge is burnt"?

Happy to share more context if helpful!

Hi everyone!

I'm not telling anybody in real life...but as of today, I (37F) am officially Coast FI! 😄 I now have $507,842.63 in long-term investments!!!

• Roth IRA: $238,497.99
• Roth 401(k): $170,362.82
• Brokerage: $92,224.60
• HSA: $6,757.22

According to my math, if I never invest another dime, (assuming 8% annual growth) I'll have approximately $3.5 million when I'm 62 years old. I'll also be taking SS as soon as I'm eligible.

I feel fantastic, but also so proud and grateful!!! :') For anyone needing some inspiration, YOU CAN DO THIS! The most important part is to get started

I'm a manager with about 10 years of PM experience and am working for a big company.

My direct manager has been managing me for about 5 years. As time has gone on, I've become increasingly unimpressed with her and also how unhelpful she can be.

We haven't spoken in a couple of months, and I let her know that we can skip this month's check-in as well because I don't have any updates. She seemed miffed and said that if we don't meet that will make 3 months of not talking, and we needed to stay in touch. I accepted the rescheduled invite.

Fellow managers, do you get any value from check-ins with your direct manager? Or is meeting with boss for the sake of ceremony just something I need to make peace with and give a fake smile for the duration of the meeting?

Thanks!

EDIT: Thanks so much for the insight everyone. Unfortunately...it's sounding like I just have a subpar manager. Still good food for thought about what to do next for my career.